All the Sun For You

A mom, two boys, a husband, and a whole lot of adventure!


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All About Bryson (… and his sleep)!

Bryson is 4 months old today.

Four.

Months.

Old.

WOW!  It’s gone so fast, but it’s also gone at a perfect pace (it certainly hasn’t gone slowly!).  This little boy is just a terrific addition to our family!  He is very laid back and has been since turning 5 weeks old.  The first five weeks were not so easy, but I swear it’s because poor Bryson never got any peace and quiet.  Once we figured out that he’s a normal baby who needs peace and tranquility at least once a day – he became a very easy baby like his big brother was.

We struck gold twice  🙂

Bryson is very social – as long as he’s in Mom’s or Dad’s arms.  He loves to make eyes at anyone who will look at him, but won’t put on a show if he’s being held by someone he doesn’t know (which is basically anyone but Mom, Dad, Grandma and Grandpa (B’s parents – not mine!), or Matthew).  He has terrific eye contact and he is probably the only person in the world who can make me instantly stop what I’m doing to just to sit in front of him and gaze into his dancing eyes.  He’s just precious!

Bryson has been a giggler for a long time.  When we took him to his 2 month well-baby visit, the nurses commented that he giggled a bit.  I thought I’d heard him giggle once or twice before, but wasn’t sure because he was so young.  But the nurses said that he was for sure giggling, and they were right.  He giggles all the time, and we’ve now found his ticklish spots to make him giggle when we need or want to hear his sweet baby happiness!

B comments all the time about how “smiley” Bryson is.  We remember Matthew being a very happy, smiley baby too, but Bryson just seems to beam his way through his day.  Bring a kitty by to see him, and he will grin from ear to ear.  Talk to him with solid eye contact, and he’ll get so happy and excited that his little tongue will vibrate!  Put his big brother within eye-shot of him, and he will smile and coo until Matthew comes over to converse with him.  Bryson loves many things, but he loves his big brother the most!

As everyone is well aware, Bryson is a big boy.  He’s exactly 20 pounds today and he has only 2 more pounds to gain before we move him out of 6-12 month clothes and into 12-18 month clothes.  Dressing this boy has been difficult to say the least.  I love nothing more than a baby boy in jeans, and Bryson is not built for jeans.  HA!  He wore only one pair of jeans from our 0-3 and 3-6 month stash from when Matthew was born, and that pair only fit a few times before we retired them.  I moved him into 6-12 months jeans a month or so ago and they’re now snug.  I think it’s official that Gap jeans are too narrow in the legs for my chunky monkey so we tried a pair from Crazy 8 and they will work… for a little while.  I refuse to put him in 12-18 month jeans at this age because they will be too long.  Heck, the 6-12 month jeans are too long now!  I have accepted the fact that he is going to be most comfortable in one-piece outfits and I’ve bought a bunch of them, including some super warm sweater one-pieces from Han.na Ander.sson because let’s face it – he NEEDS them!  If he can’t wear any of the cute sweaters we have stashed away because jeans don’t fit him, then he can wear sweater outfits!

Bryson was a tremendous sleeper when he was born!  He slept much better for much longer than Matthew ever did, so I thought we were getting off lucky this time.  Until 3 weeks ago, I only had to get up once a night to feed this boy (so why/how is he soooo chunky?  HA!).  Then he got yet another ear infection and we brought him back into our room, and all hell broke loose.  Trying to get him back into the crib has been a nightmare and as of last week or so, I’ve had to get up every 2 hours (and sometimes every hour) to console/feed him.  I would bring him into our bed but even then he would just cry and fuss.  No one was sleeping, and I was really nervous that I’d have to start some sort of sleep shaping before we were ready.  Bryson was taking a 3+ hour nap each afternoon to make up for the sleep he was losing at night, and that was on top of his 1+ hour nap each morning and afternoon.  Something had to change – and if not for me, for him.  I finally checked out Troublesometots.com (per Josey) and realized that we were missing a very key piece to his sleep process – loud white noise.  I love sleeping to the sound of the ocean turned way up, but B does not – so we didn’t use the sound machine in our room.  BIG mistake!

Two nights ago, I put Bryson in his rocker in his room after the three previous B’s (boob, bath, books, bed) and was hoping for just one waking to drop off.  It did not.  He woke at 11:00 (I don’t count that because I would have woken him anyway for a dream feed), 1:00, 3:00, and 4:30.  At 4:30, I broke the rules and brought him into bed with us where he fussed until 7:00.  Sigh.  But last night – holy smokes!  I fed him at 7:30, bathed him at 7:45, B read him books at 8:00, and he was put in his rocker at 8:10.  He cried in his rocker again, so I sneaked in and rocked it without him seeing me.  He settled down and I left, leaving him in there awake and on his own.  He fell asleep!  I told B at 10:30 that I was going to go in and wake him to eat, but then we heard him on the monitor so that was great!  He did not wake up again until 2:30!  FOUR hours between feedings – YAY!  I was in his room for only 20 minutes and I came to bed, just to wake up again at… 6:23!  Another 4 hour stretch.  HUZZAH!

I don’t think that every night will go as well as last night, but at least we are on the right track.  I’m not hell-bent on getting Bryson back in the crib anymore because you know – you have to lose some battles with your kids to win in the end.  We will move him back into the crib once he’s out of the swaddle… which we’re hoping to not allow for another 1-2 months!

All-in-all, Bryson is a great baby!  I don’t blame him for the sleep problems because those are my fault.  Matthew was a bad sleeper too, which goes to show you that I am too soft and am obviously the problem.  For all of our sakes, I’m fixing things with Bryson earlier than I did last time because we all deserve to sleep!

Here are a few photos of my cutie – all 20 pounds of him!

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All About Matthew!

Matthew is becoming the typical 2-year-old.  I say “becoming” instead of “is” because I don’t know if he’s at his peak or not when it comes to the “curious twos.”  (Our pediatrician calls them the “curious twos” instead of the “terrible twos,” which makes a lot of sense to me – therefore – I call them that too!)

Matthew is a riot!  He’s always charmed the heck out of me, but every day he does something cuter, or funnier, or smarter than the day before.  For instance, he’s in preschool now and is obviously learning a lot of things – including songs and the actions to songs that I’ve been trying to teach him for a long time.  He had no interest when I was the teacher, but for Mrs. Y, he’ll do just about anything.  We were on our way to Kansas City last weekend when he started saying “bus, bus, bus” and moving his hands in a turning motion.  AH!  “Wheels on the Bus!”  So of course we sang that the whole way to KC (and back).  He also asks for the “Itsy Bitsy Spider” now, and just started asking for “Row Row Row Your Boat” today.  I love it!

Matthew is learning his colors (“boo, bwack, llllelllow” and can point out orange and red but doesn’t say them) and some letters (B, C, and E for sure), but most importantly, he’s learning classroom structure and etiquette.  We got nothing but glowing reports the first several weeks, but recently, he’s been a bit of a pill.  Sigh.  I know this is normal, age-appropriate behavior, but I don’t like it!  The last two weeks, his daily report has said that he’s been “good” instead of “excellent” and both of his teachers told me that he’s taking other kids’ toys (but will give the right back happily) and last Wednesday, he pushed a kid.  I just could not get over it because he just isn’t aggressive… but maybe he is!?  Mrs. Y said, “there’s a lot of testosterone in the room and this is normal, so don’t worry about it,” but she did ask me to talk to him about having “nice hands” on the way to school today.  That helped, apparently, because they only had one incident today and Mrs. Y said it was “no biggie and we had a much better day!”

But he still only got a “good” rating.  😉

I know that Matthew is testing his boundaries at school because he’s testing them here at home too.  We’ve started doing “time outs” (Dr. E style, not “go sit there for 2 minutes by yourself and then you can play again”) and that was working but now seems to not be a deterrent.  We do notice that his behavior is better after the time out, but that doesn’t mean his behavior is necessarily good.  HA!  We have quite a few firm talks every few days but so far, everyone is keeping their cool for the most part and trying to just brush these things off as normal toddler behavior.

I am much tougher on Matthew than his dad is because I know what he’s capable of, and I have high expectations.  Getting dressed in the morning for school is not an option, so I have no problem just going over and stripping him down and getting his school clothes on him even if he doesn’t want to get out of his jammies.  B likes to wait until Matthew is ready.  Nope – not me – I don’t have time to wait (because he will NEVER be ready, for crying out loud).  I like Matthew to know that although I respect his differences in opinion, there are many times that  I will make the calls without his input.  Our house is not a democracy (if it was, I would always lose because I am apparently not the fun parent!).

Matthew is a doting big brother and actually had a fit today because I wouldn’t let him hold Bryson as he was winding down for his nap (I was nursing Bryson at the time).  Matthew spends much of his time smiling at Bryson, trying to play with him, moving his hands for him when we sing songs, and comforting him when he’s worked up.  I could not ask for a better-behaved two-year old when it comes to brotherhood.  Matthew gets a gold star from me, and everyone who sees him interact with Bryson, every single day for being such an awesome big brother!  I honestly did not expect it to go this well.

Bed time is going so well!  We had a bit of a regression last week when my mom came to visit and B was out-of-town.  Matthew cried as I got up to leave his room and begged me to stay in his bed.  He kept pushing my head to the pillow, saying, “sit down, sit down.”  I fell for it once but then realized what was happening.  The next night, I did stay until he fell asleep (I clearly forgot what was happening) and by the third night, he was asking the same of B.  I put a stop to that and dragged B out of there with a white lie (“Mommy needs Daddy’s help with something”) and bed time has been going much better since then.  HA!  He does whimper a bit when I get up to leave, but never gets out of his bed (he did the first night when my mom was here) and falls asleep within 20 minutes.  I still don’t have my nights back to myself because I spend those 20 minutes watching the monitor like a crazy woman, ready to cut him off at the pass if he does get out of bed.  Maybe by next week, I won’t need to worry so much!

Matthew started speech therapy almost 2 weeks ago and we’ve already seen some great progress!  I asked the therapist if “there is something not working and putting things together in his brain” and she said no – that he is just a bit lazy.  HA!  We were told that he has no reason to talk because we understand his needs so well without him talking, and that it’s up to us to force him to talk by giving him the words, and not giving him what he wants until he says the words.  Man alive – that is hard to do!  It’s hard not playing with your kid because he won’t say, “play.”  But we did stop giving him snacks until he said, “snack” and he now says it quite often, and always when prompted.  He has gained quite a few new words since the first appointment and we have another appointment this week.  I am super excited about it because I want him to be able to converse easily with his friends who are all a bit older than him.  I think we’re going to be in good shape by this time next year – he’s picking things up quickly, or so it seems.

An interesting point about Matthew’s speech (which a friend told me would happen) is that his teacher says he talks for her quite a bit.  Say what?  Oh yeah – “he asked, ‘what’s that?’ and I asked ‘where?’  He pointed up and said ‘sky.’ So I pointed to the moon and said, ‘Matthew that’s the moon.’ and then he said, ‘moon.'”  No shit?!?!?!  Matthew had NEVER said sky or moon to us, despite several attempts to get him to say them.  This proves the speech therapist’s assessment that he understands the words, and is storing them in his brain, but that he just won’t say them if he knows we want him to.  After his teacher told me this, he started pointing out the moon morning and night and saying, “Mom, moon!”  Unreal.

When Matthew’s speech was evaluated, his behavioral, social, cognitive, gross motor, and fine motor skills were evaluated as well.  He passed all of those evaluations with flying colors and was well within the normal ranges for each.  The concern is that if his speech doesn’t improve, that he’ll begin to get frustrated and the other things (like behavior) will take a dive.  I’m not so concerned about that, but I can see why they want to watch it.    Matthew is the most social child I have ever known (and I’m not saying that because he’s mine – his ability to make friends instantly scares us a bit when it comes to strangers) and if someone doesn’t understand him, he’ll just go find someone who does.  We’ve watched him do that!  Nothing holds this kid back!

Matthew is crazy about sports.  He is beyond crazy – he is fanatical!  He has always been way into basketball and that has not changed.  He’s outgrown his indoor toddler basketball hoop (“ba-a-ball hoop”)  so we bought an adjustable one that will grow with him.  He’s making shots at the 4 and 5 foot hoop settings and gets better with his aim, form, and shooting distance every day.  I am amazed by his form and jump shots – I often times just shake my head in wonder.  He’s learning to dribble and does pretty well.  Every man who sees him in action stops to tell me that he is “naturally talented” at basketball and is already quite good for his age.  I agree, but what do I know?  I am thrilled that he’s so good at something he loves, but I’m trying not to get wrapped up in it.  He could lose interest in it tomorrow (Dr. E says he won’t – that kids this young who are so into a sport or two will hone that skill for years and years, which was fun to hear), so I try not to get too excited.  But I am proud of his talent because he is quite good!  He loves playing pool as well and enjoys watching football.  I signed Matthew up for soccer and he starts that on November 2nd.  His dad was crazy into taekwondo but we can’t start him in that until he’s 4, which is a bummer because we’re super excited to see if it comes as naturally to him as it does to his dad, uncle, aunt, and grandparents (on B’s side!).

And finally, Matthew is still IN LOVE with Curious George and he got to meet him over the weekend!  Watching him meet and hug George made me a bit weepy – it is just so neat seeing your child truly love something or someone so much!  Matthew got more than his fair share of George time, but it still wasn’t enough for him.  There was a typical toddler meltdown as we left George, but it was worth it!

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The Monday Snapshot – Mine!

There are moments when I can’t believe that my life is really mine. These moments jump out of nowhere and can truly almost move me to tears. They almost always revolve around the happiness of one or both of my boys (like when Matthew bursts out in dance whenever he hears music, or when Bryson can’t stop smiling at me, even when I’m sucking his nose out).

We had a busy weekend, full of visits with B’s family every day of the weekend. We had his brother over Friday night, visited his parents Saturday, and met his sister and niece for breakfast on Sunday. It was a LOT of family time, and a bit too much for me, frankly. B’s sister will talk with him and unintentionally leave me out of the conversation each.and.every.time we see her. It’s frustrating. And Matthew LOVES his cousin and they play hard, and Matthew gets a little naughty and out of control. 😉 So Sunday was a morning of trying to interject (unsuccessfully) into an adult conversation, being the only one able to tend to both boys during yet another meal, and trying to get Matthew to calm down.

Sigh.

But then Matthew did this, and it stopped my heart for a moment. His happiness overwhelms me sometimes, and reminds me to lighten up. And for a split second, I gaze at him and think, “I can’t believe he’s mine!”


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The Monday Snapshot – Family Photo!

We went down to Kansas City this past weekend to see some friends and to spend some time at an indoor water park.  We have a few friends and family members who live there, so we try to see everyone each time we go, which isn’t always possible.  One of our sets of friends down there is Steph and her family from Blawnde’s Blawg.  Steph and I have been “bloggy friends” for a year and a half now, and we’ve seen each other 4 times if you count their stay with us on their way to ChiBLOGo (I certainly count it because Steph and I stayed up late, talking and wondering (and sometimes crying) if we could love our soon-to-be-babies as much as our current babies – HA!).  I can’t imagine going to KC and NOT seeing Steph and her family – they are so much more to us than “bloggy friends!”  I was so excited when they were able to meet us for a LONG dinner on Friday night and then again the next day at the apple orchard.

B and I both had our phones, and Steph had her fancy camera, but none of us got photos of all of us together.  What a bummer!  There was one shot I wanted to get of Matthew and Chloe together, but both of them were D-O-N-E with all of us by the time we got the cameras out!  I mean, come on – there were DOGS and FIRES and WISHING WELLS and BARNS to play with and explore  😉

However, I did get my new favorite photo of my boys together (see my banner above) and Steph got a family photo of the 4 of us.  Aside from my “boo boo” black eyes and cut, I absolutely love this photo.  Thank you, Steph, for taking it!

(I did apply a filter to make it look a little more fall-like, and to mute my super bright teal shirt and my scuffed up face!)

Family pumpkin20131013213651

 


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If You Don’t Try, You Can’t Succeed… Or Fail

I’ve droned on and on and on and on about Matthew’s sleep, and our challenges with it, on my blog.  I kept a very detailed account of our experience with the Fer.ber method after trying everything else to help him sleep.  I’ve vented about naps and his attempts to stop napping altogether.  I’ve talked too much about bedtime routines taking  too damned long each night and my frustration with having to lay with him for 30-60 minutes each and every night until he falls asleep.  To say that Matthew has been a challenge in the sleep department is an understatement (until you talk to someone who’s had a more difficult time with babies/toddlers and sleep, but it’s all relative).

It’s true that Matthew sleeps, usually uninterrupted, for 9-10.5 hours each night.  That’s a great thing!  But the truth is, 9-10.5 hours of sleep just isn’t enough for a kid his age (well, 10.5 hours is enough, but he rarely gets that much). He doesn’t go to bed until 8:45 and then I’m in his room until somewhere between 9:15 and 9:45.  I’d love to put him to bed at 8:30 and walk out after tucking him in, but I don’t think that’s in the cards for us.  He just isn’t ready to settle down at 8:30 unless he’s had no nap, which is not an option in this house.  He now wakes up between 7:00 and 7:45 each morning, which is a huge improvement from the recent days he’d wake up at 6:00.  Holy hell, those were hard mornings – and they lasted for months and months and months.  I am now awake before him which means I’m a rested, happy mom when he wakes up.  I make a point to rush to the hallway to get him (we keep a gate up so that he can’t accidentally fall down the stairs if he walks in his sleep) and I always flip on the lights and celebrate the morning.  When he was getting up at 6:00 AM, there was nothing to celebrate.  HA!

Just recently, Matthew started making bedtime a bit easier on his old mom.  Instead of laying with him for 30-60 minutes each night, that dropped down to 15-30 minutes each night.  I was more than happy with this, and honestly, I do love snuggling with him.  When he dropped down to only needing 15-30 minutes of my time, he also started shushing me when I’d try to sing to him.  I don’t remember the exact last time I sang to him, but I do know it was when B was out-of-town on one of his work trips.  I bet it was almost a month ago now.  That makes me sad, but again, I’m out of his room after no more than 30 minutes, so I’ll let the shushing slide!  The one thing that he’s been doing that bothers me, though, is pushing me aside after a snuggle or two.

Matthew loves to pull my arm over him and tuck it in really tight under his left shoulder.  He’ll turn onto his left side but I sure better keep that arm under him (not easy)!  If I move my arm – we start all over.  Lately though, he only lets me hold him for a bit before literally tossing my arm off of him while saying, “no!”  REJECTION!  He’ll go so far as pushing every part of me far away from him so that not even a finger of mine is touching him.  I was offended by this at first, but then thought, “are we on our way to him wanting to go to bed without me?”

Cue happiness.

And sadness.

I ignored the thought for a long time, only mentioning it once to B that maybe Matthew was moving in the direction of really putting himself to sleep.  This all started when he began napping in our bed – when prior to that – I had to rock him to sleep before putting him in the crib.  As I look back on it now, I’m thinking that moving him to our bed for naps, where I just sit next to him as he drifts off, started teaching him sleep independence.  Each and every nap gets easier, to the point that it doesn’t even matter what I put on the TV (super low volume) as long as it’s not a cartoon.  I keep it kid-friendly, but honestly, he doesn’t care anymore what’s on.  The minute the TV goes on with something that has to do with construction trucks (that’s my go-to theme), he settles down and drifts off within a few minutes.  Nap time has never been easier.

And now bed time is way easier.  Go figure!

So getting to the point of this post.  I only mentioned once to B that maybe Matthew was getting ready to go to bed by himself because of his independent actions each night.  I said that once we’re back from our Colorado trip after Christmas, that that’s when I’ll push the issue of getting him to go to sleep on his own.  The conversation was over with a plan in place.  But I kept wondering each and every night if I could have left the room earlier, after he rolled to his left side after tossing me aside.  But I’ve not had the guts to try.

Until tonight.

Last night, there was a bit of an accident in our house.  I had hung up some glass prints of Matthew from his 1-year-old session above his closet and they’ve been there for a month or so.  I hung them with temporary nails just to be sure on the spacing before putting the screws in the wall that came with the prints.  However, the nails seemed to work just fine and after opening and closing the closet doors several times to check stability, I figured the nails would work.  B came home from his trip to find the prints up and was OK with the nails since I said I tested them.  He did say that screws would be better, but meh, if nails work, they work.  They worked – until last night when I was getting clothes out of the closet for the next day and the biggest print (16 X 24 or so) fell on my face – splitting the bridge of my nose open.

It was a pain, and shock, like I’ve rarely known (much like when I took a water ski to my nose several summers ago) and I wasn’t even sure what had happened.  I just held my face and cried, literally cried, for B.  He told me not to look at it and to get dressed (I was in my jammies).  I listened to him and didn’t look until I heard him on the phone with someone, asking them to come to the house so he could take me to the ER for stitches.  Then I looked, and I sobbed some more.  My face, my face, my face!  I couldn’t stop sobbing.  HA!  Anyway, the neighbor ended up taking me to the ER (no stitches, just a butterfly bandage) leaving B at home with both boys – awake at bed time.

When I got home from the ER, B told me that he left Matthew in the room, resting but awake, because he was worried about Bryson.  WHAT?  He said that he stayed in bed.  WHAT?  He said that he didn’t cry.  WHAT?  He said that he watched on the monitor as he tossed and turned, but didn’t move from his pillow.  WHAT?  I chalked it up to it being B, and not his beloved mom, leaving Matthew and him being OK with it because, well, it wasn’t Mom.

But I also figured I’d give it a try tonight because if this was our window of opportunity to do this without a struggle, then why not try?

And try I did.

And I (we) succeeded.  I laid with Matthew for 10 minutes exactly (that gave him time to tuck my arms around him, and then toss them off of him!), tucked him in, said goodnight, and walked out.  Not a peep.  I quickly grabbed the monitor and saw his little eyes glowing in the night vision view.  But he didn’t move much, aside from a flip from side to side.  Within 20 minutes, he was asleep.

It was that easy!

How could I have not read the cues sooner (like a few weeks ago)?  Why did it take an emergency to figure out how to put my kid to bed?  I suppose it doesn’t matter – because all that matters is that for two nights in a row – Matthew has put himself to sleep without even attempting to get out of his bed!

I tried, and I succeeded!

(Unlike how I tried to securely hang those pictures, and failed.)

It took a painful injury to convince me that my son was ready to go to bed on his own!

It took a painful injury to convince me that my son was ready to go to bed on his own!

My hope is that this is my LAST post about Matthew’s sleep habits.  Let’s all cross our fingers!


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The Monday Snapshot – He Looks so Small

Bryson isn’t a small baby. In fact, he was 18.5 pounds just Thursday at the doctor (another ear infection). Because he’s so “sturdy,” I had no hesitation putting him in this stroller before the suggested age of 6 months. For the first time in a long time, my baby looked sooooo little! I love little reminders like this that he’s still just a little wee baby. 🙂