All the Sun For You

A mom, two boys, a husband, and a whole lot of adventure!


Milestones Make Me Sad

There have been tears tonight. Matthew is no longer a baby – he is walking. Not taking steps… But walking. We’re in a hotel and he took to exploring the room via just his feet. I am really sad 😦

He is also clearly understanding, “no,” and that makes me happy! He now stops what he’s doing about 80% of the time when you tell him to stop. Oh, so very happy!!!! 🙂

And he also went bowling for the first time, which made him sad. Too noisy! He scored a 7… In just one frame. Not too bad. I scored 55 after 7 frames. I’m a bad bowler! 😦

And finally, tomorrow is our 5th anniversary. This makes me very, VERY happy 🙂


Yeah – It Doesn’t Work That Way

It hit me today that I will NOT be doing our FET in August like I thought.  When my friend was over today with her daughter, we talked through my cycle and I realized that I won’t get my first post-nursing period until August, at which time my RE wants to do a mock transfer.  They will put me on BCP on day 1 of that first cycle and then the FET will be about 45 days later.  We’re looking at September or early October, which is when we did the transfer for Matthew.  I am totally cool with this – but it did surprise me that I hadn’t thought through this earlier than now.

The good news of all of this is that I’m obviously not obsessed with TTC/IVF like I was when we were trying so hard to get Matthew.  When we were working on getting him, I would build spreadsheets to figure out when I may cycle if this one, or that one, didn’t work and if I had a chemical pregnancy, etc.  I was a crazy woman.  This time?  My RE said we’d do the cycle in August and I just figured, “oh, a  transfer in August.”  No – it does not work that way  😉  So late September it will be if I get my period when I expect it.

Again – totally cool with it!  It means I have even more time with just Matthew, which is ultimately what I want.  The idea of another baby makes me a little sad because Matthew is my bestie and I don’t want that to change.  But I do want him to have a bestie that is closer to his age than his dear old mom – and that is why we’re doing this when we are.  He LOVES other kids and really needs to have one of his own at home  😉


Splish Splash!

I think we have a swimmer on our hands!  I took Matthew to the pool for the first time today – and he loved it!  I wasn’t sure how he would take to it because he likes his baby pool I got for the yard, but he likes to be OUTSIDE it and leaning over the edge and splashing his toys around.  He loves his baths, so I was hopeful that with the pool being indoors, that it would be similar.

I went with a friend and she brought a floaty thing for him – and he liked that quite a bit.  But once he got comfortable, he wanted out of that thing and in the water!  My friend’s little girl will be 2 in August, so she’s a big kid compared to Matthew.  Everything she did – he wanted to do – including going down the slide.  I was very hesitant but my friend said that the gal who teaches the baby swimming class will put 6-month old babies down the slide – so we did it.  He loved it – but I didn’t like not having him in my arms so he only did it once  😉

We went to the deep end (of the kiddie pool – so my shoulders were still exposed) and he tried to get away from me several times.  He let me put him on his back, dunk him completely in the water (loved that!!!), put his face in so he could blow bubbles, splash him, and the big thing that he did was jump off the edge of the pool into my arms.  Holy smokes – everyone – this kid has nerves of steel!  I am not even elaborating here – my friend was shocked by his nerves.  He would stand there on the edge holding my hands, then put his hands above his head (“so big” style), and then grab my fingers and jump to me!  And if I put him on the wall seated, he would jump to me without holding onto my fingers.

It was a success!  There was not a single moment of tears, panic, etc.  When we started, he hung on pretty tight and nibbled my shoulder (I’m realizing that that’s his soothing mechanism which I should stop before it gets to be a problem – but it’s so darned cute!) but that was very short-lived.

We will do this weekly.  I had a ball!  We were in the water for an hour and a half.  And can I just say – I LOVED hanging out with my friend and her daughter!  They are going to join us each week which is very exciting for us.  I really needed the adult interaction!

We head up north in a couple days and they have an indoor pool, so I’m off to buy a new bathing suit on Friday.  The one I have is pinned up on the sides and the bottoms almost fall off when I get out of the water.  It does the job when we’re in the hot tub, but it’s not good for moving around in a real pool.  I HATE spending money on bathing suits (they are so expensive and I’m not secure in my shape and size) but I will do this for the boy.

The one problem we had was getting ready at the beginning and then redressing at the end.  There is no place to put your baby, so I had to literally put him in my duffel bag with stuff all around him to keep him in one spot while I changed.  We made it work, but it was concerning given that the entire dressing area was concrete.  After yesterday’s big event, I’m a little cautious.

Matthew had an unexpected play date then when he woke up from his afternoon nap.  His very first friend, Hailey, came over and they played like crazy!  They hugged, chased, and pummeled each other for well over an hour.  Matthew was exhausted after she left, and that was just an hour and a half after waking up from his nap.  Good times!

B asked if I took photos at the pool.  My response?  “Are you freaking crazy?!  There was no way I could take photos!”  He will get to see Matthew in his pool action come Sunday or Monday.  YAY!  He’s going to LOVE it!


Nightmares Are Made of This Stuff

I had a rough morning.  A really, REALLY rough morning.  Here is why:

I let Matthew have a lot of freedom and when I’m brushing my teeth in the morning, I let him cruise around the bathroom.  I watch him constantly, but he has full access to the joint because we haven’t baby-proofed it yet.  I have setup one specific drawer for him to get into, but all the ones he can reach have been cleared out of anything dangerous.  Today, he was standing up, digging through one of my drawers (the one with the maxi pads – he loves that drawer!) and he stood unsupported as he clapped his hands.  Fine.  No biggie.  Then… then… he started to dance and threw his head back – and I watched in horror as he fell flat back into the wall behind him, smacking the back of his head on the wall and crashing flat-backed on the floor.  Holy hell.  I will probably have nightmares about this moment for the rest of my freaking life!

I am not an alarmist – when Matthew falls, I usually pause and wait to see how he reacts and then try to calm him if he’s upset.  Not this time.  Oh no!  I gasped, and swore as I dashed to him (I was only 2 feet away but it felt like 100 yards), and I started to cry as I picked him up.  He was a wreck – wailing – HYSTERICAL.  I was in a panic and thought that this is exactly the type of freak accident that can really harm (or kill) a baby.  I kissed him and immediately went to nurse him – knowing full well that if that didn’t calm him down, that I’d be calling B up from his office in the basement and we’d be going to the ER.  I NEVER think this way.  I NEVER make a big deal out of injuries of any sort – or injuries to anybody.  This was different – I knew that this could very easily be a big deal.

But it wasn’t.  He calmed down and bounced back quickly (not as quickly as normal though).  I did not.  B came up later and asked how the morning was (he hadn’t heard a thing down in his office) and I just started to cry and could hardly form the words to tell him about it.

Oh yes – this one will stick with me FOREVER.  Watching it happen (it felt like slow-motion) was horrifying.  I am so grateful that he is OK.

You can be sure that I did not let this poor child sleep for quite a while after it happened.  By the time I would let him nap, he was over-tired and needed lots of help falling asleep.  I was very happy to oblige him!  When he woke up, I took him to his favorite place (Chip.otle) for guacamole!

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A Show For Daddy

I need to record this before I forget. Matthew finally let B in on the walking thing yesterday (Saturday) – just 13 days after I got to see him in action. He has not taken more than 2 steps at a time since I posted on the 13th, but he has progressively gotten more confident with his standing and will even bend down to get things without needing support now. He’ll throw his head back to drink from his sippy while standing unsupported, but he would not walk more than two steps – and he has not done it for B to see.

Until now!

Today he was standing at his truck, and B was sitting on the floor and called him. And he just walked on over! I got to see too and counted steps, of course, and there were 4 without a doubt!!!! And they were effortless. Quite the show for Daddy. 😉

I am SO glad B got to see this!



I didn’t pump last night.  I nursed Matthew pretty late (8:45) and then went to bed earlier than normal (10:45).  That’s only two hours so I figured there wouldn’t be much worth pumping.  Of course I went to bed worried that I had just messed up my body’s supply and demand for milk.  I worried about it all day.

It’s 11:22 tonight and I just pumped.  THREE ounces!  I guess I’m still producing.  Why do I worry so much about messing up my milk supply?  I have 55 days worth of milk in the freezer which will get Matthew to 14 months of age on nothing but breast milk and homemade, natural, WHOLE food.  What is my problem?

So in other news, I weighed myself today.  (Truth is, I weigh myself every day.  Before you get all “that’s not healthy, crazy woman,” on me, please note that I’ve always done this and I find that it keeps me from eating like a cow.  The minute I stop weighing myself daily, I get out of control because I love BAD food.)  I am very happy – I am 34.6 pounds less than when I got pregnant.  I have lost 10.8 pounds since starting our Paleo/primal lifestyle 6 weeks ago and that’s without doing any exercise (which I’m really not proud of).  I have lost 3% of my body fat.  I weigh almost as little as I did at my prime 5 years ago.  I am happy about this!

I would recommend this lifestyle to anyone.  I am SOLD on this!  I have never felt better!  No bloating, no fullness – just comfort and satisfaction all the time!

You know what I thought about today?  I thought that the next time I get pregnant, at the end of that pregnancy, I won’t even weigh what I did before I got pregnant with Matthew.  That is a relief!  I only gained 18 pounds with Matthew but I was super chubby – the chubbiest I have EVER been.  A year’s worth of fertility drugs and 2.25 years of TTC depression will do that to a gal.

At the rate I’m going, in another 6-8 weeks, I may hit my all-time adult low.  I’m not holding my breath.  However, B and I are going to take Matthew for a run tomorrow and we’re trying to get serious about exercise again (we used to be insanely fit) – so if I can actually pull that off – I may be able to hit that low before 6-8 weeks from now.  I have never felt so motivated!

We got a lot of work done on the house today.  B power washed the deck and I trimmed up the front plantings.  I have a lot of work to do still, but hope to finish it this weekend.  I have cake toppers to make and I can’t do that until my front plantings look good!  We are out of town next weekend and the following week (hello, North Shore of Minnesota!!!!), so the weekend after that will be busy with more house/yard work.  We have a long list, but I feel confident that we’ll knock most things off of it.

Matthew got in his little pool for the first time today!  So cute!  I took tons of pictures, many of which are posted below.  After he was done, we let him run around the house totally neck-ed, which he enjoyed too much!  Tomorrow?  He gets to try out his new water table for the first time.  SUMMER IS HERE!!!

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First Medal!

So something happened today that B and I viewed rather differently.  Matthew got his first medal.  I did not know he’d be getting a medal today at the gym – but he did, and it was cute, and thank God my friend was there with a camera!  It was absolutely adorable, but I didn’t think it was that huge of a deal.

So there we were at dinner tonight (I insist that we go out at least once a week for a nice dinner so that Matthew keeps his manners!), and I tell B, “oh, hey, Matthew got a medal today at the Litt.le Gym.”  He stopped eating and looked up at me with a stunned look, and asked, “what for?”  I explained that next week is his last class as a Little Bug so they decided to give them medals like they do with the big kids.  I just kept eating my dinner, not making a big deal of it.  B asked, “so if he’s not a Bug anymore, what will he be?”  “A Little Bird,” I replied without looking up.  There was some silence so I looked up and he had this look on his face that I can’t really describe.  He said he wished he could have been there, and I assured him that I did not know that this was happening this week (I really didn’t.  The other mother knew because her other kids go there and they told her about it earlier this week.  That’s why she had her camera.).  With that, he turned to Matthew and promised to never miss another event in his life.

How sweet is that?

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