All the Sun For You

A mom, two boys, a husband, and a whole lot of adventure!


The Monday Snapshot – Pack ’em Up!

I packed up all of Bryson’s 6-12 month clothes today – 95% of which were never worn. Matthew was built true to size, so lived in jeans (you all know how much I love to dress my boys in jeans EVERY DAY) and sweaters but Bryson is just too husky for jeans. What this means is that he has not gotten any use out of Matthew’s monstrous wardrobe (6-12 months is my largest collection so far) – and hanging them all up in his closet was a true waste of time. ūüôā I was so hopeful that these clothes would get a second round of usage but no. Oh well.

What this has also meant is that Bryson has gotten all new clothes and has a style all his own, which is fun! He has spent the winter so far in super cozy sweater one pieces and everywhere we go, people say that he looks so cuddly and comfortable… Two words that actually describe him well!

I went through our 12-18 month supply and it’s mostly summer stuff, so I need to buy some long sleeved t-shirts and sweaters. The 12-18 month jeans are working for now, so I will be taking full advantage of that… Even if I have to roll up the legs quite a bit!

Here’s to hoping that maybe these clothes will get another chance if we have a third (boy desired!). If not, someone at the consignment stores will be hitting the jackpot in a couple of years!

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The Monday Snapshot – It’s Going

Sleep training is in full effect (or is it affect? I don’t know, and I’m banging this out on my phone so I’m not looking it up) over here. Night one was ROUGH with 5 wakings, which was better than the night before, so it’s a win in my book. Night two, last night, was rough in its own special way but looking back on it, was better than night number 1.

We decided to try to eliminate all night feedings during this little exercise so that I don’t have to do it twice. I’m no idiot. So I added that little tid bit to my plan/spreadsheet. I love the Ferber book for making this so easy to figure out. Anyway, here’s our night:

Bryson went 4 hours between feedings on night 1, so our goal was 4.5 hours last night. He went from 8:45 – 3:26 so 6 hours and 45 minutes. WIN

Bryson did wake up before I fed him – a couple of times. Once at 11:00 with a very quick resolution and no checks from me (was asleep before the 5 minute interval was up). The second waking started at 11:40 or so, and went on and on until 12:56. I only went in once because of the timing interval, but he would fall back asleep and up again within 5-10 minutes. This happened several times but he was never up for even 5 minutes after that first waking. I count that cluster of wakings as one since he never really settled in between whimpers.

When Bryson fell back asleep at 12:56, it hadn’t yet been 4.5 hours from his last feeding, so I waited for the next waking to feed him. He didn’t even stir until 3:26.

I did fall asleep nursing Bryson (oops) for an hour. SHIT! But it was nice! I put him back to bed at 4:35 and he woke up then for the day at 6:00.

I forced him back to sleep with me in bed until 7:00.

All in all, Bryson got 9.5 hours of sleep, which I’ll take. A win since he got just over 9 hours on night one. Three wakings are better than 5. Another win!

Naps are rough – he has always cried when putting hm down, but never longer than 14 minutes. That is still the case now. He does fuss and cry mid-nap a lot, but never longer than a couple of minutes before he’s back asleep. I just got him out of his crib from a 1.5 hour nap (with interruptions) and he’s now nursing and sleeping beside me.

So I think it’s going well. Better than it did with Matthew (I think… Because I lost his spreadsheet somehow). This age is much easier so far than 9.5 months was!!


The Monday Snapshot – Practice Run = Success!


We will be meeting Santa again this year, but in St. Louis this time two weeks from yesterday.¬† Meeting Santa last year was not a great experience for Matthew.¬† We got cute photos of him being scared, which wasn’t exactly what we were going for.¬† HA!¬† When Matthew was Bryson’s age, we got cute photos, but he was rather stoic in them.¬† But man alive, they were cute!

Today, while walking the mall with my mom friends, I thought, “why not try a Santa picture with Bryson?”¬† He was dressed for the occasion (a darling sweater outfit because jeans don’t fit his little legs) and was in a good mood.¬† So I got in line (there was no line) at 9:56, waiting for them to let us in.¬† He did great.¬† He was so cute and had a great time – and yes – his outfit was pretty perfect!

Of course I bought all the digitals¬†(say it with me, “of course you did!”) and a 5X7 that I’ve already shown Matthew, asking him if he wants to meet Santa too.¬† He says no.¬† ūüėȬ† We’ll see in a couple of weeks.¬† I’ll keep using that photo as bait, and the Santa-dressed sock monkey Bryson picked out for him while we paid for the photos.

Our photos next week better work out Рwe all (and I mean, we ALL, including B) have matching sweater outfits for Breakfast with Santa!  I have officially turned into my mother (sigh).



The Monday Snapshot – Getting There

Matthew started soccer last weekend. It’s not anything formal, just a clinic to get them used to kicking the ball and having fun with the sport. They don’t play games, because, well, a group of two year olds aren’t capable of doing that yet.

Last weekend, he just wanted to run around, THROWING the balls, not listening to anyone (B, coaches, nor myself). It was hard for me because I enrolled him to give him something fun, but with structure. I want him to learn to listen well and take instruction. I expected this to come immediately since he’s in school.

Not so much!

B and I parent very differently (that’s a post in the making) and he wanted me to lighten up (rightfully so). It was hard.

This past weekend, I let B take him and I met them there. He refused his shin guards (of course) and his soccer socks, but he was having a good time. And he was listening a little better. He took a quick break to come say hello to me… And was extra cute about it. And then he was off again to have FUN. And I didn’t interfere as much as last week (all the parents step in).

We’re both getting better. We’re both getting there!


Birth, Birth, Birth… Ugh!

The PAIL monthly theme post is focused on birth.¬† I wasn’t going to take part, because I’m sort of over the whole birth story/birth process obsession.¬† I don’t like calling it that (an obsession), but I do feel that that’s what it is.¬† When my older sister was having her kids, people weren’t asking her what her birth plan was, if she was going to try going natural, or telling her that her induction was a bad idea – and that was just 12 years ago.¬† I don’t know what has changed since then, but something has.¬† And that’s fine, but it’s just not my thing, you know?

I worked hard to conceive my kids – harder than most people I know.¬† I’m not saying that to boost myself up or anything, I’m just saying it because it’s true – and it lends itself to my feelings on birth plans and birth stories.¬† Because we struggled so much, with so many failed interventions, so many drugs, so many emotions, so many personal intrusions – I was just happy to be pregnant.¬†¬†How our kids got here after so much effort, failure, heartache, and marital agony did not matter to me.¬† It just didn’t.¬† Prior to IF, I was all about trying to deliver naturally, with no interventions at all, because my mother had and she said it was just no big deal.¬† We have high pain thresholds in our family and I figured if I can handle the pain, then why the hell not, you know?¬† But once IF hit, and we couldn’t get (or stay, if you count my way early loss) pregnant, I just didn’t care anymore how I brought that baby into the world – just as long as I got him here.¬† That’s not to say that others care less than me about delivering their babies safely – I’m just saying that that’s ALL that mattered to me.¬† Sure, I was disappointed that Matthew was breech and that I’d need a scheduled C-section, but I got over it quickly and actually embraced the idea.

So I wasn’t going to write this month because people are probably sick and tired of me saying I don’t give a hoot about birth plans (because I don’t).¬† I do love to hear about birth, and I love an emotional birth story as much as the next gal, but birth plans in general – meh.¬† To each his own, and I do envy those who have the will and guts to deliver at home (those are my very favorite birth stories), but to read in the comments of birth plan posts that you should try this, do that, change providers, hire a doula, flip that baby, fire your midwife?¬†¬†No – that’s not for me.

But I also wasn’t going to write this month because I just don’t feel included in the conversation when it comes to birth, because I have scheduled C-sections.¬† This happens online, with my girlfriends, at the park, at the grocery store, at baby showers, etc.¬† Anywhere and any time¬†the topic of birth comes up, no one has interest in hearing about my stories – because all I did was wake up one morning, put some makeup on, show up at the hospital, sign some consent forms, and get cut open hip to hip.¬† No biggie.¬† There was no drama, no breaking of waters, no questioning of contractions, no rush to the hospital, no epidural, no urge to push – nothing.¬† And no one wants to hear my war story because it’s hardly a war story.

I didn’t have the courage to write this until I read Keanne’s and Mrs. T’s posts, and let’s face it,¬†how I’ve been made to feel by being ignored by other mothers doesn’t hold a candle to the feelings they describe.¬† But I did read their posts and thought to myself, “oh I feel the same way, but different, but in so many ways the same.¬† I get it!”¬† I started to comment on their posts but then my comments turned into novels, making me want to put this out there for the world to see, and for my boys to read one day.¬† When you don’t rush to the hospital in a panic, or make decisions for epidurals or emergency C-sections, or have a 3rd degree tear, or spend over 24 hours from start to¬†finish to actually cross the finish line – no one wants to hear it – because they can’t relate.

My sons’ birth stories are valid, and believe it or not, they are interesting.¬† They may be different from what you experienced, but they’re still birth stories of precious babies who were hard-won (like ALL babies).¬† I can guarantee you that I was scared to death the first time I delivered¬†via scheduled C-section because I didn’t know what to expect, just like you were scared to push your babies out of your vaginas.¬† I promise you that¬†I was even more scared the second time because I knew what to expect, and what I was expecting wasn’t fun.¬† I have war stories to tell, they’re just not stories that most people can relate to because they think I “took” the easy route (as if I had a choice).

Every single birth, adoption, conception, and loss story is valid, whether you relate or not with the story-teller.¬† Next time you talk about your birth, and someone says, “I¬†had a scheduled C-section,” please include them in the discussion.¬† Please ask them what their experience was like.¬† Please don’t dismiss them because they didn’t have the same, or even remotely similar,¬†experience as you.¬† Please don’t shut them up with your sideways glance when they chime in and try desperately to relate to the rest of you.

Birth – in the end – it doesn’t matter how we got there – just that we did.


The Monday Snapshot(s) – Awesome Morning!

Bryson had a crappy night last night, which makes sense given he had a super night the night before last. B had to leave town at 4:30 this morning, so when Bryson woke up at 3:30, I just put him in bed with me. It was his second waking since 10:15, which meant there would be more. No thanks! We slept well snuggled up together!

Bryson and I woke up at 7:00 and started getting ready for the day as I marveled in the fact that Matthew just kept on sleeping. I sort of worried about him, being perfectly honest, but didn’t want to wake him. At 8:00, I opened his door so he could hear us moving around and wake up on his own. At 8:08, I heard his sweet little feet running down the hall toward me! He slept for 11 hours last night! He was sad not to see Daddy but gave me a huge hug and kiss!

Matthew ate his breakfast as I got things ready for school. He let me dress him without a fight and we were off for school. We talked about “nice hands” and “good listening ears” before we said goodbye. Matthew loves school!

I am sitting in the Sta.rbucks parking lot as I write this, with a napping, snuggling Bryson in my lap (I nursed him to sleep, oh yes I did!). I’m supposed to be walking at the mall with the other moms, but my perfect moments with Bryson are more important than any walk or social hour. ūüôā


The Monday Snapshot – Mine!

There are moments when I can’t believe that my life is really mine. These moments jump out of nowhere and can truly almost move me to tears. They almost always revolve around the happiness of one or both of my boys (like when Matthew bursts out in dance whenever he hears music, or when Bryson can’t stop smiling at me, even when I’m sucking his nose out).

We had a busy weekend, full of visits with B’s family every day of the weekend. We had his brother over Friday night, visited his parents Saturday, and met his sister and niece for breakfast on Sunday. It was a LOT of family time, and a bit too much for me, frankly. B’s sister will talk with him and unintentionally leave me out of the conversation each.and.every.time we see her. It’s frustrating. And Matthew LOVES his cousin and they play hard, and Matthew gets a little naughty and out of control. ūüėČ So Sunday was a morning of trying to interject (unsuccessfully) into an adult conversation, being the only one able to tend to both boys during yet another meal, and trying to get Matthew to calm down.


But then Matthew did this, and it stopped my heart for a moment. His happiness overwhelms me sometimes, and reminds me to lighten up. And for a split second, I gaze at him and think, “I can’t believe he’s mine!”


The Monday Snapshot – Family Photo!

We went down to Kansas City this past weekend to see some friends and to spend some time at an indoor water park.¬† We have a few friends and family members who live there, so we try to see everyone each time we go, which isn’t always possible.¬† One of our sets of friends down there is Steph and her family from Blawnde’s¬†Blawg.¬† Steph¬†and I have been “bloggy friends” for a¬†year and a half¬†now, and we’ve seen each other 4 times if you count their stay with us on their way to ChiBLOGo¬†(I certainly count it because Steph¬†and I stayed up late,¬†talking and¬†wondering (and sometimes crying) if we could love our soon-to-be-babies as much as our current babies – HA!).¬† I can’t imagine going to KC and NOT seeing Steph¬†and her family – they are so much more to us than “bloggy friends!”¬† I was so excited when they were able to meet us for a LONG dinner on Friday night and then again the next day at the apple orchard.

B and I both had our phones, and Steph had her fancy camera, but none of us got photos of all of us together.¬† What a bummer!¬† There was one shot I wanted to get of Matthew and Chloe together, but both of them were D-O-N-E with all of us by the time we got the cameras out!¬† I mean, come on¬†– there were DOGS and FIRES and WISHING WELLS and BARNS to play with and explore¬† ūüėČ

However, I did get my new favorite photo of my boys together (see my banner above) and Steph¬†got a family photo of the 4 of us.¬† Aside from my “boo boo” black eyes and cut, I absolutely love this photo.¬† Thank you, Steph, for taking it!

(I did apply a filter to make it look a little more fall-like, and to mute my super bright teal shirt and my scuffed up face!)

Family pumpkin20131013213651



The Monday Snapshot – He Looks so Small

Bryson isn’t a small baby. In fact, he was 18.5 pounds just Thursday at the doctor (another ear infection). Because he’s so “sturdy,” I had no hesitation putting him in this stroller before the suggested age of 6 months. For the first time in a long time, my baby looked sooooo little! I love little reminders like this that he’s still just a little wee baby. ūüôā