All the Sun For You

A mom, two boys, a husband, and a whole lot of adventure!


(Almost) Wordless Wednesday – He’s Here!

Bryson (still needs a middle name) arrived early this morning weighing 9 pounds, 6.8 ounces and measuring 20.5 inches long. He is a great little nurser so far and excellent at self-soothing. His brother has given him countless kisses, but none to me. Not because he’s upset, but because he’s so busy and I can’t keep up with him. 😉

I’m feeling great! This c-section was way easier than the last one. I’ll write more later, but there was something found with my uterus that would have caused “a catastrophic rupture” had I tried a VBAC or even labored too long before an emergency c-section. I have never been so thankful that we chose the safest route for our son and for me. Whew! I look at Bryson and thank god/fate/whatever that he waited for our scheduled date to make his appearance!

And here he is…. For now!


Ready to Go…



It’s been a very emotional day – I’m finding that I’m always weepy on Matthew’s birthday.  But today is a bit different because it’s his last day as our only child.  Tomorrow, the day after his 2nd birthday, he will become a big brother.  I know he’ll love it, but it still makes me a little sad.  I have cried off and on all day, and sobbed my eyes out after putting him to bed tonight.

This is hard.

I know it will be OK – I know it will be GREAT.  I just wish that I could have one more day of just us.




The Monday Snapshot – 2!

Someone turned 2 today!

We had a terrific day – it was packed full of fun and excitement! We wanted to have a memorable day before we become a family of 4 tomorrow. Here is what we did:

6:15 – Matthew woke up (WHY so early all the time, Little Man?!?!)
10:15 – Breakfast at our favorite place downtown (La Mie Bakery)
11:15 – Science Center for the first time – it was a hit!
12:45 – Stopped at B’s work for a visit with his coworkers – they wanted to see the birthday boy 🙂
1:45 – Asleep in the car (oh no! Please stay asleep when I transfer you to the crib!)
2:00 – Nap (successful transfer!)
4:45 – Up from the nap – woke up a bit fussy (usual)
5:00 – Matthew went out to the garage to find his big present – his Strider Bike (“A BIKE, a BIKE!”)
5:10 – Played a little basketball (with the football) out back
5:30 – B took Matthew on a ride in the Burley for the first time – he loved it!
5:40 – Matthew wanted (and got) another Burley ride 🙂
5:50 – Matthew tried out his new BIKE!
6:00 – Matthew had is favorite meal for dinner – Chipotle! (Carnitas, guacamole, and strawberries)

6:15 – Hung Matthew’s room-darkening mural!
6:20 – We all went for a drive to get some frosty beverages
6:40 – B took us to the Corvette dealership just to take a look (not at all seriously looking, but thought it would be fun – and Matthew did love it!)
7:10 – Took a family walk to the neighbors’ to take them leftover cupcakes from Matthews birthday party. He got to play with his best friends, V and W!
7:30 – B’s and my best friends came by for cupcakes – Matthew was a show-off (and threw his new lantern at their 9 month old – ugh!)
8:30 – Bath time!
9:08 – Bed time
9:34 – Sound asleep

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Happy birthday, sweet, sweet boy!  I love you so much!


THIS Moment in Time (#19)

I’ve been doing a secret project for Matthew’s room. I did mention this on his room page, but only as a progress item for my own record keeping. I haven’t told many people about it (URL or IRL) because there was a huge chance it would be a complete failure.

But it’s not a failure!

B came up with this idea to cover the window above Matthew’s main window. Window coverings ranged from $250 (for something stupid looking!) to $800 (for something functional and attractive). Neither of us was willing to pay either of those prices, so B asked if he could cut some plywood and if I would paint a mural on it.

I said yes! So we’ve both done our part (his part involved geometry to cut the perfect size, so I think his part was harder even if much quicker than my part – HA!) and it’s turning out better than we both thought it would!

I have more painting to do tomorrow, but here it is as it dries tonight! I’m taking quick pictures after each step/night so that this little labor of love is documented properly!


The Monday Snapshot – Healed?

This weekend, I needed to look for something under my bathroom sink.  Many things get tossed under my bathroom sink (extra hair products, toothbrush head replacements, contact solution), but something very personal is kept there too.

My used and unused fertility drugs, needles, prescription labels, and old HPT’s (only ones from my successful cycles) are kept under my sink – far away from anyone who would wonder why I still have them, but close enough for me to always know they’re there.

I had to dig and dig to find what I was looking for (and never found them) and pulled the bags full of unused needles, labels, extra meds, and HPT’s out to keep searching.  I then found a 2 liter bottle full of fertility needles and used vials – probably from the cycle that worked for Matthew.  I disposed of many, many IVF needles about 4 months ago and did not know that I still had a bottle full of used needles from our IVF efforts stashed away somewhere.  I was sort of stunned to find them, actually.

Under my sink were 4 IVF (2 fresh and 2 frozen) cycles worth of used needles, memorabilia, and emotions.

And now in my garbage can, shred pile, and (proper) needle disposal containers are 4 IVF cycles worth of… nothing.

Several months ago, I was not ready to let go of all of this, especially the prescription labels.  Today – I am.

As I cut the 2 liter bottle open (because you can’t dispose of them that way, apparently, so I needed to put them in laundry bottles instead) and sifted through various needles and vials of used medications, I remembered certain things.  I thought about how I administered Foll.istim (I had forgotten how the needles screwed onto the pen), how I mixed my Repron.ex each night, and how surprised I was that Ovid.rel came in glass syringes.

But I was not emotional.

I was not at all clinging onto these things any longer.  The same is true for the prescription labels I dutifully pulled off of boxes and bottles to put in the shred pile as I put the bottles and boxes in the trash.

I felt nothing.

I thought a little about the HPT’s from this cycle and decided to just keep the first one that showed me that Bryson was coming (4dp5dt) and the one taken at 7dp5dt because that was the date of the one I still have from Matthew’s cycle (they were transferred on the exact same date, just 2 years apart).  All the rest went in the trash can.

Am I healed from the pain of our infertility?  Those prescription labels were a testament to what we went through, the years of agony and depression, the effort we put into building our family.  Today – they are nothing more than trash.

I dare say I might be healed… and that’s a good feeling!


This is my contribution to the Monday Snapshot at PAIL.