All the Sun For You

A mom, two boys, a husband, and a whole lot of adventure!


This Year

It’s 2014… And this coming fall and winter, we think we’ll start an FET for baby #3. It just feels weird saying and writing that. “We’ll be trying again this year.” THIS YEAR. I sort of dreaded the turn of the year for this very reason.

I hate how I feel when I cycle – the anxiety, the uncertainty, the hormones, the hope. Our last cycle went perfectly and left us 5 frozen embryos. Will those 5 give us a baby? I don’t know. I do know, though, that those are our last embryos – there will be no more fresh cycles for this lady. That feels both good and bad. It feels good knowing I’ll never stim again, but it feels bad knowing that those 5 embryos are our only chance at another baby.

I did something weird today – I pulled out my BFP sticks from my pregnancies with the boys. I kept just the ones taken on 10/19 for each of the boys, and the first one from Bryson’s pregnancy. I got all of those same giddy feelings looking at that BFP from 4dp5dt in 2012. I twisted it in the light, squinting at that very faint line, smiling from ear to ear. I did that several times, as if I was seeing that BFP for the first time.

It was weird.

It felt GOOD.

It felt scary.

It felt hopeful.


The Monday Snapshot – Back to Normal

We spent the weekend sharing two cabins amongst B’s immediate family (MIL, FIL, SIL1, SIL2, BIL, niece, nephew, the four of us). It was, surprisingly, a very fun, comfortable time. The only issue, and I truly mean ONLY issue, was our niece who is very mean, selfish, and manipulative with everyone, but specifically with Matthew. By the end of the weekend, Matthew had started mimicking her nasty behavior (being antagonistic, pushing Bryson over, claiming everything as his) and I was pretty upset. It’s hard when you spend lots of time with people who parent so differently from you, that you need to expend most of your energy running interference between the kids. My SIL does not correct her daughter, and claims that everything she does is “just helping.” Sneakily pulling a chair out from under a two year old is not helping. Running toward him and shoving him backwards off his feet and onto the floor, and then telling us that “he slipped,” is not helping. Calling Matthew over for a hug, and then kicking him in the face telling him not to touch her is not helping. This went on ALL weekend, and her mother stepped in only a few times. Other than that, she’d say, “I know you’re just helping him.”. Gah! So I stepped in, and B stepped in, and called both kids out on their behavior all weekend.

We’re home now, and we’re sort of “reprogramming” Matthew into the nice boy we took on vacation with us. We’ve heard fewer, “mine’s” out of him today, and he’s only pushed Bryson down once. We’re getting there.

And everyone is napping and sleeping in their rightful places again!

(Please don’t think that I think Matthew is perfect. He’s not. Just ask the neighbor boy he bit (first time for that – GAH!) last week and his preschool teachers who keep teaching him to NOT TAKE TOYS FROM HIS FRIENDS! Ha!)


Purge, Purge, Purge

Everyone seems to have added “reduce/purge clutter” to their new years resolutions.

I didn’t.

But after reading just one post on it (thanks, Steph!), I decided it was time to do some purging of my own. Josey had mentioned a “30 bags in 30 days” challenge that she took part in one year, and I figured that was a good goal. I had no idea what all could be put out to pasture in our house, but I knew we had a lot.

I upped the bag count goal to 31 bags since January has 31 days. I’m not taking part in other purge challenges because, well, I was already on quite the roll before the challenges started and there are no before pictures of what we’ve already done. AND – that’s just too much pressure for me.

So far, I have taken 7 full garbage bags of clothes to the Goo.dwi.ll, tossed out 7 bags of garbage (our trash bin has never been so full), given away 2 garbage bags full of clothes, and loaded up another 2 bags of clothes to take to Goo.dwi.ll later this week or next week (when I have even more to take!). The itemized list of donated clothing is ridiculous and a little embarrassing, as is the LOAD of fitness clothes I’m sending to my sister and also donating in the next round of donations. I hope to never fill closets again like I did a few years ago.

B hasn’t even TOUCHED his tubs of clothes and I suspect we’ll have around 4 bags of clothes to donate once he’s done.

So far, we have purged and completely organized the following spaces:

  • Linen closet
  • Matthew’s closet
  • Food pantry
  • Deep freezer
  • Regular freezer
  • Craft cupboards (2 of them)
  • Bryson’s dresser
  • Rearranged the living room, opening it up a ton!
  • Moved Matthew’s toys into his room (from the living room)

The following spaces are half-done:

  • My side of the closet
  • Bryson’s closet
  • Store room full of tubs, and tubs, and tubs, and tubs, and…
  • Mud room

Here is what remains:

  • The remaining side of my closet (drawers… ugh!)
  • B’s side of the closet (his job)
  • B’s tubs of clothes in the store room (his job)
  • Our walk-in pantry (OMG that is going to be a chore for us both)
  • The spare room in our basement that stores baby crap
  • The filing cabinet
  • The craft closet (sigh)
  • The cabinet in Bryson’s dresser (double sigh)
  • The garage (his job)
  • Finish mud room organizing

So a lot has gotten done, but holy hell, a lot remains to be done.  One day at a time… one day at a time.  I already feel so much better about the state of the boys’ closets in particular.  It is amazing how freeing it is to finally tackle something that’s been hanging over your head.

Now, I must go rescue my baby who is crying for some reason… he hasn’t woken up this early in weeks.  Damn!


The Monday Snapshot – Pack ’em Up!

I packed up all of Bryson’s 6-12 month clothes today – 95% of which were never worn. Matthew was built true to size, so lived in jeans (you all know how much I love to dress my boys in jeans EVERY DAY) and sweaters but Bryson is just too husky for jeans. What this means is that he has not gotten any use out of Matthew’s monstrous wardrobe (6-12 months is my largest collection so far) – and hanging them all up in his closet was a true waste of time. 🙂 I was so hopeful that these clothes would get a second round of usage but no. Oh well.

What this has also meant is that Bryson has gotten all new clothes and has a style all his own, which is fun! He has spent the winter so far in super cozy sweater one pieces and everywhere we go, people say that he looks so cuddly and comfortable… Two words that actually describe him well!

I went through our 12-18 month supply and it’s mostly summer stuff, so I need to buy some long sleeved t-shirts and sweaters. The 12-18 month jeans are working for now, so I will be taking full advantage of that… Even if I have to roll up the legs quite a bit!

Here’s to hoping that maybe these clothes will get another chance if we have a third (boy desired!). If not, someone at the consignment stores will be hitting the jackpot in a couple of years!