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Category Archives: Bryson
The Monday Snapshot – He Looks so Small
Bryson isn’t a small baby. In fact, he was 18.5 pounds just Thursday at the doctor (another ear infection). Because he’s so “sturdy,” I had no hesitation putting him in this stroller before the suggested age of 6 months. For the first time in a long time, my baby looked sooooo little! I love little reminders like this that he’s still just a little wee baby. 🙂
Wordless Wednesday – A Family Who Eats Together…
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THIS Moment in Time (#25)
He may be sleeping well… But I’m not.
Major anxiety tonight.
I miss hearing him breathing in the rocker beside me. 😦
When He’s Awake
I realize that I have been the most boring blogger of all time lately. I looked back on the last few weeks of posts and saw what I feared – that most of what I’ve been blogging has been about Matthew’s naps – or lack-there-of. There were four posts in a row that touched on this challenge – and three of those four posts were solely about his recent ditching of naps.
Sleep is a major source of stress for me. Back when Matthew was 9.5 months old, we (I) finally decided to try the Ferber method with him because nothing else worked. We tried it all. And when I say we tried it all – I mean – WE TRIED IT ALL. I tried every gentle sleep solution book on the market, and all they did was make his sleeping worse. The Ferber method took a full 14 nights, but it finally worked. I could put him in his crib drowsy but awake at night (but never for naps) and he’d sleep through the night for 10+ hours each and every night. He rarely woke up in the night, and if he did, it was for a good reason (sick or teething). Then, just as we were about to welcome Bryson into the family, I decided Matthew needed to be moved into the new room and queen bed so that the crib could be freed up for Bryson.
Biggest mistake ever made.
Well, maybe not the BIGGEST mistake ever made, but it was a big one. 😉
I have to lay in bed with Matthew until he’s asleep or he’ll get out of his bed and rip the tree decals off the wall. It would take anywhere from 30-90 minutes to get him to fall asleep, even when he was tired. I didn’t mind it the three weeks before Bryson was born, but after he came home, I didn’t have that kind of time each night. But it did not matter – I still did it anyway. We kept Matthew up a bit later at night so that he may be more tired and the routine decreased to 30-60 minutes.
Better.
All the while, Matthew was taking 2-3 hour long naps each and every day in the crib without fail. He was only sleeping 9 hours at night, but making up for it with his naps. It was great! The only problem was that I had to rock him fully to sleep for his naps.
Then, on September 17th, Matthew quit napping in the crib (we never transitioned naps to his bed since I don’t have 30-60 minutes during the day to coax him to sleep). I didn’t know it at the time, but that was the beginning of him not napping anymore unless I did something major to fix it. I tried napping him in his bed and that was a disaster. By September 19th, he was done napping.
Or so I thought.
On the 20th, I tried one last time to get him to nap in his bed or the crib and I was beaten and screamed at, the entire time, keeping my cool. I took him to our room and put on a construction truck video and told him to have some quiet time. He fell asleep. He fell into a DEEP sleep.
Today is the 27th, and Matthew has napped in our bed for 6 of the last 8 days. He’s sleeping beside me right now as I write this. I have to wake him each day after 1.5-2 hours (I never let him go more than 2 hours anymore). It’s not ideal, but it works for us. It works for him. The only times he hasn’t napped is when I’ve kept him up deliberately because I need him to fall asleep quickly that night (like when B is out-of-town). His bedtime sleep routine (after books are put away) takes 5-30 minutes depending on the length of the nap earlier in the day. I will admit that the best nights are those that follow no nap – he is asleep and I’m out of his room in 15 minutes. But I won’t complain about 30 minutes on a nap day – no way!
So this brings me to Bryson. I swore a while back that I would not make the same mistakes I did with Matthew. I refuse to have another baby/toddler who needs me to fall asleep at night. I have been thinking about this, and thinking about this, and thinking about this… as I’ve been rocking Bryson to sleep, letting him sleep in the rocker beside our bed (instead of the crib), and letting him fall asleep with us in our bed while nursing him when he wakes up at night. GAH! Have I learned nothing?!
The funny thing is, though, that I did none of those things with Matthew. He was out of our room and in his crib at 5 weeks old, I had him fall asleep on his own for every nap (until he wouldn’t), and I followed all the sleep rules, even if they didn’t make sense to me. And he’s terrible at putting himself to sleep. Bryson was great at putting himself to sleep, but he’s starting to need more help.
And I’m starting to be more firm.
I will not nurse him to sleep for naps – NEVER! That is how everything started going downhill with Matthew. I remember it. I remember telling B, “well, that worked great – I’m going to do that all the time!” What a mistake that was. I won’t sing and rock him to sleep at night like I did with Matthew. When it’s time to establish a bedtime routine, I’ve told B that I will sing first, then he’ll read books and put him to bed. I am not going to be a crutch. I won’t have my second child napping beside me in my bed when he’s 2 years old.
I have started this post over and over again in the last week or so, and as I was rocking Bryson today, Belle’s post popped up. I started reading it, and I then suddenly stopped what I was doing and put Bryson in his crib. I patted his bottom as he drifted off. I watched him wake up, and put himself back to sleep again, several times on the monitor. He was fully up after an hour – but I won’t complain about 60 minutes in the crib. It’s all about establishing good habits, and I have to thank Belle for reminding me of that as I was drifting down a bad sleep path with another child.
To be fair, Bryson is a GREAT sleeper! He only wakes up once a night to eat. I feed him around 8:00 and then usually wake him for a “dream feed” around 11:00 or 11:30 before I go to bed. He then sleeps until around 3:00 AM when I feed him once again and put him back to sleep until he wakes around 6:30 or 7:00. I didn’t wake him for a “dream feed” last night and he woke up at 12:30 and then again at 5:00. We are getting very close to the “dream feed” lasting all night for us (11:30 – 6:30/7:00). We never experienced this with Matthew, so this gives me hope that we won’t even have to use Ferber for Bryson. But I’m not holding my breath. I know this can change in an instant.
I’ve loved my snuggle time with Matthew, but it’s not something I can do again if it causes Bryson attachment issues at bed time. I will just have to snuggle Bryson extra during the day.
When he’s AWAKE!
(My afternoon in pictures… 1.5 hours of semi-silence!)
A Tear or Two
B just forwarded me an email from his mom regarding Christmas. It was lengthy and complicated, and you could just tell that she hated sending it. She knows the holidays are stressful for her married kids who have two families to appease. She is rather sensitive to most everything, so her email had a friendly, “I’m sorry for doing this to you” tone. (We would never get an email like that from my parents. HA!)
When talking about activities for Christmas Day, she said, “Understand B that you, Courtney and the boys will be spending Christmas with Courtney’s family.” You, Courtney, and the boys. The boys. THE BOYS. Reading that made me smile… and it made me tear up instantly. That one little sentence made me think about the fact that my dream – our dream – came true.
We have the boys.
We have OUR BOYS.
Not just one, but two!
Sometimes, the pleasant reality of my life hits me when I least expect it. Sometimes, someone else’s words make me reflect on the life I’m living, and the people in it. Sometimes, I pause for a moment and cry a happy tear or two.
The Monday Snapshot – Hope
Remember this post? Looking back, that was just CRAZY of me. What was I thinking buying sleepers for an embryo that was only 4w2d old? I remember people saying that they hoped I didn’t jinx myself.
Today’s post proves that you cannot jinx a pregnancy.
You just can’t!
These sleepers are sized 3-6 months – and that should have worked for the Halloween season. However, Bryson is 17.6 pounds this morning, so I am in a rush to get these particular sleepers worn in the next two weeks or so. For some reason, they are just special to me. We talked about giving them to someone – but they symbolize too much.
They symbolize MY hope!
This is my contribution to the Monday Snapshot hosted at PAIL. Go check it out!
No Fun, No Fun at All!
The last 24 hours have been the hardest hours of my life as a mother of two kids.  Hard days and moments come and go, and they leave me thinking, “yeah, that was rough, but not awful.”
Not this time. Oh no.
Whenever B goes out of town, one or both of our kids get sick. This has been a theme since long before Bryson joined our family.  We always – ALWAYS – joke as B is packing that he’ll come home to a sick kid. We had breakfast with his folks on Sunday and B mentioned to his dad that he felt bad leaving me for two nights, three days alone with the kids and his dad said, “at least the kids aren’t sick.” B responded, “Not yet.”
Not yet was right. But it didn’t take long. B left yesterday morning at 8:00. By 4:30, crisis had hit our house.
Bryson was a super happy baby all morning and early afternoon. We took Matthew to school and then came home to just hang out together – and it was wonderful! We chatted, we played, we set an alarm so we didn’t forget to go back to get Matthew. HA! We picked Matthew up (he cried when we left school – he loves it so much!) and headed to lunch and Bryson was super alert and happy. We even got cupcakes. 🙂 We all came back and I got Matthew down for a good nap and then Bryson fell asleep and I actually wrote 12 baby/birthday thank you’s (long overdue). It was a great couple of hours!
Bryson woke up SCREAMING at 4:15 and I figured he was hungry, so of course I nursed him. He wouldn’t latch on, but he wasn’t gassy (the usual suspect when he won’t latch). Ok – he’s not hungry. I kept trying though, because that’s what moms do, right? Then Matthew woke up pissy from his nap (he always wakes up pissy) so I had two screaming kids on my hands, both needing to be held. I started texting B that something was wrong with Bryson, but I had no idea what. This went on for an hour.
Bryson finally settled down and went to sleep again, without eating much at all. I had enough sense to take his temperature and it was 97.1 under the arm – just fine. I didn’t worry. He slept 30 minutes and was up screaming again for another hour and then conked out hard. I assumed he was just over-tired and even texted that to B. But after 40 minutes, he was up screaming again, and even harder. By almost 10:00, it had been 5 hours since he’d eaten and he finally ate, which was so wonderful! I was relieved. It lasted 5 minutes and he was screaming again. He fell back asleep (of course) and then woke up screaming again at 11:15, but this time was burning hot.
His temp under the arm was 101.7 so with the added degree, it was 102.7 which is not good (I thought it was OK until I read on every medical site to go to the ER immediately). I did call two triage nurses who told me to take him to the ER right away – which is a problem when your husband is out of town and your two year old is asleep. I texted B and asked him to start calling people while I did the same. My friend, K, got the first call since she stays home with her daughter and didn’t have to go to work the next day (poor K). She answered the phone and headed over.
Long story short, we got to the ER and his temp AFTER baby Tylenol was 101.4 and he had a bad ear infection. They offered me a shot of antibiotics instead of the oral regimen and given that Bryson won’t take bottles from me and his dad is out of town (B can give him bottles), I opted for the shot. It was not fun to make him go through it, but he needed the meds and that was the only way I could know for sure he got everything he needed. And it was one dose!
So Bryson had his first trip to the ER. He was in ridiculously good spirits and charmed everyone, including the doctor who came back in after he was finished just to smile and talk to him. Cute! It took 2 hours from start to finish and we were back home at 3:00 trying to get some sleep. Matthew woke me up at 6:05 and I’ve been up since, with a super tired baby and a fussy toddler who didn’t nap today. YAY.
My fuse has been super short today, and that makes me feel bad because Matthew doesn’t deserve my grumpiness. He’s such a good boy who is just bored to death with his tired mom and sleeping brother. He’s been so good today, but when he didn’t nap, I lost my temper and quickly shouted at him. 😦 I immediately hugged him and cried into his shoulder that I was sorry, but what was done was done. He seems to not be fazed by it though, so that’s good. He’s such a forgiving boy.
Matthew’s in bed now, so that’s good for all of us. I told B that I was glad he was asleep so he could be “out of the line of fire.” I am just so tired and frazzled and just want to sleep. Poor kid – it’s not his fault that my night was so incredibly awful. I did completely relish book time with him and we had a great time. We took our sweet time reading CG, then “Where Do Diggers Sleep at Night?” (adorable book!), and then, “Goodnight, Goodnight Construction Site” (the best book in his collection right now!). I LOVE book time, and B usually does it – so this was just what I needed. I needed to snuggle my boy and give him the time and patience he deserves. Matthew fell asleep within 9 minutes of the lights going out. That’s the up-side of no nap! HUZZAH!
Bryson and I then had a nice nursing and snuggle and he’s now sound asleep in his little rocker. I loved holding him until he was snoring. I miss that with this little guy – there just isn’t time to sit and hold him for no reason other than that I want to. He gets short-changed in the snuggle department so when I have time to do it – I like to REALLY do it right!
So yeah – hard 24 hours. Impossible 24 hours. I’m so glad they’re behind us.
BIG BABY!
Matthew was a big baby – 8 pounds 9 ounces.
Bryson was an even bigger baby – 9 pounds 7 ounces.
Matthew never seemed big to me, probably because he was my first baby and I had no one to compare him to. And yes, I know we’re not supposed to compare our kids – but we all do it! Matthew grew at a regular pace and always had thinner limbs and belly – his chub was in his cheeks. Bryson came out with chub everywhere!
My first memory of Bryson, after thinking that he was a spitting image of my grandpa, was that he was a big baby. I could only see his little arm on the warming table from my angle and I just marveled at the fat rolls on his wrist. I remember shouting over to B, “look at his fat little arm!” Bryson had the most delicious cheeks and chin I’d ever seen on a baby – you just wanted to nuzzle your nose into him and breathe in his adorable chubbiness.
To this day – I’m breathing in adorable chubbiness 😉 Bryson never disappoints us on the scale – HA! At his 2 month appointment, he weighed 15 pounds 5 ounces (a weight I guess dead-on, by the way!). This kid doesn’t seem to slow down, but he doesn’t seem like a huge eater either. He paces himself, and eats on a very regular 3-4 hour schedule. He sleeps longer at night than Matthew ever did, which means he’s not taking in as much food as his big brother. But all of that aside, he keeps up his chub brilliantly.
The other day, as I lifted him out of his rocker in the morning, I thought, “he feels soooo heavy.” So I did what any crazy mother would do and I weighed him. I couldn’t believe what I saw, so I weighed him 4 different times – all resulting in the same number on the scale. Not even 2 weeks after his two month “well baby” check – he weighs 16 pounds 9.6 ounces. YES – SIXTEEN POUNDS NINE POINT SIX OUNCES. I then weighed Matthew (because his pants and diapers are all of a sudden bigger on him) and he weighed 30.6 pounds (30 pounds, 9.6 ounces). Matthew weighs only 14 pounds more than his 10 week-old baby brother. HA!
I think we’re destined to have a big boy on our hands until he becomes mobile. All this time, I’ve been so excited about having the boys’ birthdays just one day apart because then the clothes would all be re-used in the same seasons… but that isn’t going to happen. Bryson will move into 6-12 month clothes in a few weeks, and by late winter/early spring (Feb/Mar), I bet he’s in 12-18 month clothes. That’s OK – this all means that I’ll get to buy more sweaters.
Bryson has slowed down on the eating, which means I’m finally pumping. I need to build up a nice supply for when we wean him next summer in preparation for another FET (I can’t believe that’s coming up so soon!). I want 3 month’s worth in the freezer, and at the rate I’m going, that will happen. In the last two days, I’ve pumped 18 ounces. I don’t expect that to always be the case, but I’m hoping for 4-5 ounces per day. I will keep pumping twice a day to keep my supply up, even if he doesn’t need it in the here and now.
I love my little chunky monkey! I still can’t believe how big he is, but I wouldn’t have him any other way!
The Monday Snapshot – Sick
B just left for an overnight work trip, and of course Bryson is sick. I was up literally all night with him until 4:45 when he finally fell asleep. Until Matthew woke up – at 6:13. And Matthew woke up sick too (I knew this would happen after listening to him cough all night on the monitor). So here we go. Happy effing Monday! 😉
All the Sun For You 