All the Sun For You

A mom, two boys, a husband, and a whole lot of adventure!



Two posts in one week? WHAT????

I’m waiting for Matthew to finish up his speech appointment and Hottie has Bryson, so I.AM.ALONE! Truly alone!

I’ve been pissy lately. Like, Hottie doesn’t want to be around me, pissy. I finally pinpointed the problem when I was rushing through yet another shower while Bryson screamed in his crib yesterday. I need some privacy. I need to be able to go to the bathroom without a kid in there with me, or even worse, without a kid screaming at me from the other side of the door. I need to take a shower without stepping around a child or two who’s showering with me. I need to have just 5 minutes to shave my legs without having to share my shave gel with little hands. I just need some privacy. And not a lot, but SOME.

Hottie gets to take a shit alone, he showers alone 80% of the time, and he has an office he can escape to and lock the door. He has a 20+ minute commute each way in which he gets to listen to any damn radio station he wants. Hell, he can talk on his phone if he wants! If I attempt to use my phone, the boys start demanding certain songs be played on it (at least they have great taste!) and then I get pissed, even though I don’t give in. I just don’t want the fight every.fucking.time.

So yeah, I’m pissy. Hottie, you are correct… I am terribly pissy lately.

Aren’t you glad I’m back?


Oh, and here’s an updated picture of my cute boys… Being sweet and not pissy!

Author: Courtney

Hi, there, I’m Courtney. I never planned to stay home with my kids, but I got sucked into motherhood when my first baby came into our lives after years of infertility and multiple rounds of IVF. His brother followed closely behind, something we didn’t plan on after having such a rough road with achieving parenthood the first time around. My boys are IVF cycle twins, conceived on the same day but born two years and one day apart (they were both transferred on the same day in October, but with two years between them). My boys are the best of friends and my husband is a terrific husband, father, and most importantly… friend. He fully supported my desire to stay home (“I just wanted it to be your idea and not mine, I totally want you to stay home and raise our kids!”) and encourages me in everything I do. I am a lover of projects, spreadsheets, fitness, healthy cooking and eating, crafts, selling my stuff on FB (HA!), and the outdoors. If I’m active, I’m pretty darn happy!

22 thoughts on “Pissy

  1. I would be pissy too. I get time to myself (commute to and from work, work days in general) but it’s still not enough. I don’t think dads realize the simple things like going to the bathroom or taking a shower alone are a luxury we don’t often get. I think that’s why JJ takes an hour in the bathroom because he can lock the door and no one will/can bother him. Maybe I need to take note and do the same, but I won’t. Ha! Hope you can find a good balance soon. Let us know the secret if you do!!

  2. Yes, I’m glad you’re back…and I totally get it….I just don’t have anyone who cares if I’m pissy 😉

  3. Story of my life too. I am often jealous of D because he gets SO much more alone time than me. I wish we lived closer and we could meet up for drinks or a walk and leave our hubbys with the boys!!

  4. This is one of the reasons I am afraid of being a SAHM. Some days I crave it, but I also truly fear that I’d end up pissy all the time for the reason you described above. Sometimes you just want to shit and shower in peace. *sigh* I hope you guys can figure out a balance that will help B be in charge of the boys in the morning for a bit so you can get that YOU time. <#

    • He actually covers mornings quite a bit, but the kids are still screaming for me. If they see me, they want me. I have been known to hide out in the bedroom once in a while (a couple of days a week). Hottie actually is insisting that I get a trip away scheduled, and I’m working on that!

      • Yeah, I have to hide in the mornings in order to do my workout/shower without them whining for me as well. So frustrating 😦

  5. I can so relate to needing time alone. About once a week I just say “screw it” to the girls taking naps in their cribs, and instead, we all pile in the car and I drive around for an hour. It’s not the most cost-conscious plan, but Piglet plays with the iPad, I listen to the radio, and the girls sleep. I even treat myself to an unsweetened iced tea from McDonald’s for $1.27. Yeah, sometimes I just need a break.

    • YES! Just to get to listen to the radio! When Bryson slept in the car every morning that Matthew was in preschool, I didn’t have this problem because I’d listen to NPR, park the car and read blogs (or even throw up a post myself), or call my sister. I rarely have time to talk to my sister these days, but she doesn’t have a lot of time to talk to me either. I miss the quiet time in the car.

  6. When can Bryson start going to pre-school, or at least some kind of Mother’s Day Out thing once a week? Maybe that would give you some of the time you crave?

    This year has been rough for me with the super early morning wake up and 4-5 hours of sleep a night and the full time work load in a part time schedule. BUT, I get some time to myself AT HOME when my son naps and I get ready for work in the morning in a quiet house and I get my commute to listen to audiobooks. There is a lot I love about this year, even though it has its challenges. I’m really worried about next year, when I’ll (hopefully) be home getting my daughter ready for school, then dropping her off, then staying at work until the late afternoon, then picking up my kids around 4-5 then doing the afternoon/evening routine myself. There is no time in that schedule for me to be alone, except during my commutes. I guess that will have to do, but I’m not sure how it will be enough.

    I don’t know how you manage with no time to yourself all day. Are they not napping at the same time anymore? When my daughter dropped her nap it was sooooo hard. I hope Matthew hasn’t done that yet. And if he has, then I hope you can find somewhere for Bryson to be 1-2x a week while Matthew is at preschool so you can get some time for yourself. It is so, so necessary.

    • Bryson starts next fall with school two days a week, but it’s Thurs/Fri and Matthew will be in school M-Thurs, so I’ll just have Thursday morning to myself. But that affords me a morning each week with just Matthew, which I really, REALLY need. I miss him a lot… A LOT.

      They do nap at the same time, but until the last couple of days, Bryson’s been waking after just 45 minutes. He is getting better now that I’m putting him down earlier, so I should get 1.5-2 hours a day if they can do it at the same time. Problem is that I need to tread at that time to train, which is great, but also not down time. Because I have to rush to shower after that. But I shouldn’t complain.

      I don’t think you’re in much of a better situation than me. I thought that as I wrote the post – that you’re struggling with the same thing because when you’re at work, you’re with OTHER people’s kids. UGH!

  7. Alone time is definitely a must!! I’m trying to think of last time I was alone at home….not since baby. But I love to even just grocery shop alone is bliss!

    • Grocery shopping, and doing dishes, is my happy time! I rarely get to go shopping alone, but it’s even relaxing with the kids because they usually follow the rules 😉 Cookie bait!

  8. Alone time is so important. I don’t get much of it either (work does not count, apart from the pee in private thing). I did get to walk the dogs on my own Sunday and it was bloody lovely. I’ll come and baby sit ok 🙂

    • God, I wish you lived closer! You will NEVER guess who I know IRL here in Iowa! Check my FB friends and see who we have in common – one of them will SHOCK you! The boys did gymnastics together and are now on the same soccer team. So weird!

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