All the Sun For You

A mom, two boys, a husband, and a whole lot of adventure!

And Then She Was Gone


Lily is playing with an unending supply of ribbons in the clouds. Ribbons are her favorite thing in the world (besides me).

Last night was rough, because I went to bed knowing it was our last sleep together. All the signs were there. I knew the morning was going to be hard.

Lily was just so tired, and her breathing was very labored, this morning. I told B first thing that it was time, and he agreed. His parents headed down but she started feeling worse before they were here, so my neighbor came up to be with the kids until Bs folks arrived.

I really didn’t want to take her to the ER vet, but that was the only option for us on a Sunday. It turned out being perfect for us, and I’d choose to say goodbye there again in the future, when necessary. The tech was so kind and took us to a comfortable, darkened room with a sofa, lamp, and end table… and there were clouds on the ceiling. They took Lily back to put the catheter in her arm and swiftly brought her back to us. We wrapped her in blankets and held her lovingly as they got the vet. The vet was fantastic and as swift as we asked. Lily took a few breaths as we whispered in her ear that we loved her. I told her to chase those ribbons all the way to the clouds. “Red ones, blue ones, green ones, and orange ones. No one is going to take them away from you. Chase them, sweet girl. I love you.”

And then she was gone.

Author: Courtney

Hi, there, I’m Courtney. I never planned to stay home with my kids, but I got sucked into motherhood when my first baby came into our lives after years of infertility and multiple rounds of IVF. His brother followed closely behind, something we didn’t plan on after having such a rough road with achieving parenthood the first time around. My boys are IVF cycle twins, conceived on the same day but born two years and one day apart (they were both transferred on the same day in October, but with two years between them). My boys are the best of friends and my husband is a terrific husband, father, and most importantly… friend. He fully supported my desire to stay home (“I just wanted it to be your idea and not mine, I totally want you to stay home and raise our kids!”) and encourages me in everything I do. I am a lover of projects, spreadsheets, fitness, healthy cooking and eating, crafts, selling my stuff on FB (HA!), and the outdoors. If I’m active, I’m pretty darn happy!

8 thoughts on “And Then She Was Gone

  1. Sending love and light to you and your Lily. She has all the ribbons she could ever want now and you are a kind, compassionate owner for knowing when her time had come. The blessing and curse of modern veterinary medicine is that we can get more time with the creatures we love, knowing when their suffering is greater than the medicine, however, is very hard. I know she appreciated that you let her go at the right time and I am so thankful the vet provided a gentle place, too. xoxo

  2. Pingback: If you have a moment… | Scrambled Eggs

  3. I’m so incredibly sorry hon. Shedding some tears for Lily and your family’s loss. Huge huge hug.

  4. I’m in tears again, I’m sure sweet Lily is chasing ribbons and is pain free. There is a sweet book called Cat Heaven that I got for a friend when she lost her kitty. Thinking of you…..xoxox

  5. I am so sorry hon. My dogs like your Lily play a huge part in my life and they were so important (are so important) through our struggles. Big fat juicy hugs xx

  6. So sorry for your loss. Losing a beloved pet is tough no matter the circumstances. I’m glad everyone was so gentle with you all and made it a peaceful experience.

  7. That made me cry. I’m sorry that your kitty’s time had to come to an end.

  8. Oh, so very sad… poor Lily… how wonderful that she was able to leave this world in your arms, though, and be loved right until the end. All any of us can ask for, really. Sending lots of hugs to all of you.

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