All the Sun For You

A mom, two boys, a husband, and a whole lot of adventure!

I’m Ready!

9 Comments

It’s no secret that I am rather ambivalent about TTC #2 – but I now need to rephrase that.  I was ambivalent about TTC#2.

Now – I’m ready.

I am late – very late for me.  I’m coming off of breastfeeding so I figured I’d let it ride for a bit before I tested.  I hate having HPT’s in the house – they give me great anxiety.  I figured I’d get a BFN and then have 2 HPT’s leftover from the box, and that was too much for me.  Just knowing they’re under my bathroom sink makes me want to have a reason to use them.  It’s weird, I know.  Or maybe it isn’t.

Anyway – I wasn’t testing.

I have the most insanely sensitive sense of smell right now.  I can smell cat puke spots from months ago.  I can smell specific bugs outside.  I can pick up the faintest scent and it’s been driving me nuts.  Of everything I was smelling, B could only smell the same thing as me once.  This was a tell-tale sign.

I’ve been sick, off and on, for weeks.  Sunday was rough – but I didn’t read too much into it because I wasn’t sick when I was pregnant with Matthew.

I’ve had lots of faint little cramps – just like when I got pregnant with Matthew.

So I tested this morning.  BFN.  I knew it.  I wasn’t sad – even though I had let my mind wander into the realm of, “what if?!”  In fact, I had a spring to my step.  And here is why.

I now know that I am ready to TTC #2.  I am ambivalent no more.  I am looking forward to starting a cycle.  I am looking forward to getting this show on the road.  I am looking forward to knowing where we stand with all of the IF business.

I needed this little exercise – it let me really figure out how I feel.

But now, all I need is a period.  Where the hell is it?  I’m ready to get it over with so we can start a cycle (or testing) next month – and then use one of those annoying HPT’s shortly thereafter  🙂

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Author: Courtney

Hi, there, I’m Courtney. I never planned to stay home with my kids, but I got sucked into motherhood when my first baby came into our lives after years of infertility and multiple rounds of IVF. His brother followed closely behind, something we didn’t plan on after having such a rough road with achieving parenthood the first time around. My boys are IVF cycle twins, conceived on the same day but born two years and one day apart (they were both transferred on the same day in October, but with two years between them). My boys are the best of friends and my husband is a terrific husband, father, and most importantly… friend. He fully supported my desire to stay home (“I just wanted it to be your idea and not mine, I totally want you to stay home and raise our kids!”) and encourages me in everything I do. I am a lover of projects, spreadsheets, fitness, healthy cooking and eating, crafts, selling my stuff on FB (HA!), and the outdoors. If I’m active, I’m pretty darn happy!

9 thoughts on “I’m Ready!

  1. Glad to hear you are in a good place to start trying for #2. Sorry your body is messing with you right now- that’s not fair! I hope the coming months are filled with excitement and peace for what’s to come.

    • It’s only messing with me because we just stopped nursing. My cycle has always been 26.5 – 28 days. Clockwork! Of course, the ONE time it’s late is the time I’m anxious for it to get here. Geesh!

      How are you feeling?????

  2. So glad to read this woman! AF is such a fickle bitch, eh?

  3. Well, I’m glad you know now that you’re ready!! fickle bitch, indeed

  4. What you said about the HPTs is so true!

  5. Yea, sometimes it’s stuff like this that it sucks it was BFN, but now you know for sure and that probably feels great!

  6. Fantastic 🙂 Cheering you on for #2… and hoping that you tested too early and that your BFP is yet to come 🙂 Love always xoxo

  7. Well… my first thought is that it’s possible you ovulated late… is that a possibility?

    Eeeeek, by the way! It’s exciting that you’re ready!!!

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