All the Sun For You

A mom, two boys, a husband, and a whole lot of adventure!


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Car-less

I am without my own vehicle for a few days.  My sweet husband bought me a car in Philadelphia.

We live in Iowa.

I am a nervous wreck about it because what if he flies out there to seal the deal on Saturday and they’ve sold it to someone else?  I’ve been micro-managing this whole endeavor because I’m that worried that they’ll pull a bait-and-switch on us.  I don’t know why I’m so nervous about this – this is how B always buys cars (we always buy pre-owned vehicles).  He bought his first Acura on Ebay, for God’s sake, back when that was really risky!  He had the winning bid, bought it sight unseen, flew out there with his buddy, picked it up in SoHo, and drove it home.  That car treated us very well.  We always wondered if it had been in an accident (it had a clean carf*x report when B bought it) because there was some paint damage and my feet always froze in the winter when I was a passenger in it.  (Turned out that there was an accident on the report many years later when we sold it – the accident was just before B bought it so it wasn’t on the report right away.  Sneaky of that seller.  But honestly, that car was a dream!)

The next vehicle we bought out-of-state was my RDX – and we were a bit more conventional with that one.  We found it at an Acura dealership online and drove up to Minnesota to buy it.  We knew before we left our driveway and before seeing it that we were buying it.  They told us it had a little scratch on the front fender and it turned out to be more than a little scratch, but it was certified, the price was right, and we’d already sold my other vehicle.  Meant to be.  We bought it.  It’s been a great vehicle, aside from its lack of room for an additional car seat.

The next vehicle purchased out-of-state is the one B drives now and we got it at the same dealership as my RDX – but he bought it sight unseen again over the phone and just drove up to get it.  They told us it was perfect and it was, aside from a couple soft dents in the trunk that we got fixed for $200.  Again, it was certified, exactly what we wanted, and the price was right.  It’s been a great vehicle.

When it came time for this new vehicle, we were having a heck of a time finding exactly what we wanted for a good price.  We like to spend as little as possible but still have a Hon.da product in the end with few miles and certified, if possible.   We even looked outside of our comfort zone of Hon.da/Acu.ra but found that we’d be spending just as much, or more, for a vehicle we didn’t even really want.  As we searched, we realized that we were more particular on color than we thought (damn that black MDX that passed B on the interstate when he was pondering our color choices!) and realized that a rear entertainment system may give us the ability to travel again (oh, our hopes are way up on this one!).

The prices in the midwest were ridiculous.  I mean – INSANE.  So of course B got on Ebay (I shuddered) and found one for a super-duper price (more shuddering).  It was too good to be true, but needed to be checked out (even more shuddering).  I was very huffy about this particular vehicle because I was having flashbacks of all of those years in the front seat of the CL in the winter time, complaining about my freezing feet and not being able to warm the car enough to defrost them (turned out that the insulation had not been replaced after the apparent accident that was not on the damned Carf.ax report).  I refused to drive a vehicle that was bought at a corner no-name/no-brand dealership in Brooklyn that was asking a price that was insanely low.  I said that it was super cheap for a reason.  I said there was no way, NO WAY, that I would put our son in a vehicle that had not been fully inspected and evaluated by someone with the skills to do so (and this statement was not fair, because it implied that B would put our son in said vehicle and I promise you – he would not)!  And no – we were not asking our friend’s friend in Brooklyn to look at it for us – because he doesn’t know what’s under a hood.

And then I cried a bit.

But then B found Lemonsquad.com.   Have you heard of this?  No?  It is AMAZING!  THEY ARE AMAZING!  All B had to do was call them up, tell them the situation and where the car was located, and the guy had someone go test drive it within 24 hours of our call.  I believe the test-driver was a mechanic.  They did a 130 (or so) point inspection and hooked a computer up to it to read everything there was to read on the vehicle.  They took photos.  They took notes.  They saved us!  Note that when we called the dealership about the vehicle, the sales guy said it had a few scratches on the left side, but other than that, “PERFECT.”

Um.. no.

Lemonsquad gave the vehicle a grade of D.  I was expecting it to be bad (because I’m a negative nancy that way), but not THAT bad.  Here’s a snippet from the report:

“The entire left side of the vehicle has been previously repaired and repainted, as well as the right side quarter panel and doors, including bumpers also. These repairs do not look perfect, some details of the body work are noticeable; the paint finish is not completely smooth, and even dull on some of the areas.”

Seats Normal wear for mileage of vehicle.
Power Window Switches The right front window switch is not working on the main control panel.
Scratches There is a scratch on the right rear door, and a couple on the rear bumper. Other scratches too small to photograph, normal for wear.
Small Dings There are just a few dings overall.
Tail Light Lenses The left tail light lens is broken. See photos.
Bumpers Front bumper is misaligned on the right side. See photos.
Navigation System This system needs the code in order to work. Seller will look into it.
Back-Up Camera Unable to test the back-up camera, because the code is needed to operate the system.

And there were photos… 53 of them showing all of the damage.  As B just said (when I was asking for a refresher on all of its issues), “it looked like it had been to the Apocalypse and back.”  HA!

This cost us only $150.  Money well-spent, holy hell!

So that brings me to our car in Philly.  It’s certified, it has low miles, it’s black, it has the rear entertainment system, it has navigation (I cannot live without that), and it’s the right price!  When B called the dealership on Saturday with questions, they mentioned that they’d gotten lots of calls on it already.  We wouldn’t normally believe this kind of selling tactic, but the truth is, we’d lost out on two vehicles in Manhattan (not ones from shady dealers) just earlier in the week so we knew that they went fast out east (probably because of their awesome pricing).

B bought it for me.  Sight unseen.  I’m so happy about it!  He flies out Saturday  morning to get it and will be home by Sunday night.  In the end, this out-of-state purchase will save us about $3,500.  I’ll take it!  The big unknown was getting rid of my current vehicle and we did that today after a lot of back-and-forth.  A dealership flat-out bought it from us for a pretty good price considering the body damage I’d done to it right when we got it (I ran into our garbage cans and just kept going, because, “you know, they’re plastic and they won’t hurt the car”).

So we’re a single-car-family for a week and that usually works out just fine for us.  I have to be flexible for B so that he’s able to get to where he needs to be.  No problem!

Now I just hope my new car is really there on Saturday!


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Memorable Moment Monday – Cat Scratch Fever

Ugh.  We had company over last night and our social cat, Jackson, wanted to be close to everyone.  I told our visitors that he’s usually pretty good with the kids and will just move if they’re bothering him, which is true.  I forgot that he does not move when we have company though – because he really, really likes having visitors.  Right after I said that he can be trusted, Matthew got swiped – and it was bad.  He bled right away and it bled for a long time.  He looked like Frankenstein – the slash was perfectly horizontal on his forehead, about 2.5 inches long, with long drips coming from it along the entire length of it.  AWFUL!  He was unfazed, thank God.  We were horrified.

Jackson still resides here ;), but he was on our sh*t list last night, that’s for sure.  I usually defend him but there was nothing to defend this time.

It looks much better today than yesterday.  And you may also notice a skinned knee in this photo?  That’s a first!  He’s getting so big!

This is part of PAIL’s Memorable Moment Monday


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Road Trip Hangover

Matthew had a roadtrip hangover today – like – badly!  He woke up after just 9.5 hours of sleep at 6:50  because we kept him up too late.  We let him stay up last night to play with B since he missed him so much.  That was sweet and all – but not good for the boy.  When he emerged from his room this morning, he seemed deflated that he didn’t have a room full of cousins to play with.  Sigh.  😦  Good thing I had a play date already setup for him!  There were tears this morning over absolutely EVERYTHING (no friends to play with, not enough food (really, he had plenty!), he finished his milk and wanted more, the kitties weren’t accessible, you-name-it!).  Mornings like this make me sad because there’s nothing I can do to cheer him up.   Bottom line was that he was bored with just me, he was snotty as all get-out, and he was tired.  So, so, so very tired.

I didn’t let Matthew nap.  I needed to get him back on his regular schedule.  He only napped for 45 minutes TOTAL while we were at my sister’s, and I needed to get him back to his 2.5-3.5 hour daily nap.  I kept him up until 12:30 which just made things worse for him.  We went on our play date at 11:30 and he cried the whole time because, yes, he was tired.  My neighbor (the one whose door I knocked on to introduce myself months ago and we’ve been buddies ever since) was totally understanding, thank goodness, and even offered to keep him for me for a few minutes so I could go get lunch for myself.  I didn’t torture her by taking her up on that offer!

Matthew cried through his naptime books until I finally tossed them aside and snuggled him.  He was out in less than a minute and he slept 2.5 hours – and so did I!  It was wonderful.  It was glorious!

And then he woke up.  Pissy.  Again.

Poor Matthew was obviously not yet caught up on his sleep but it was an improvement so we went out to finally get Mama some food!  We sold my soul to the devil and went to Chick-Fil-We-Hate-Gays and had some wonderful chicken (seriously – I hate one of their corporate values but really love their chicken as well as all the nice people they employ there!) and Matthew yelled at me as his food supply dwindled.  This child does not know when he’s full – we’ve come to this conclusion.  He ate 6 grilled nuggets, applesauce, and some yogurt and I had to rush him out of there because he was screaming at me for more food – and I didn’t have any to give him!  Sweet Jesus!

We went to Tar.get where he FINALLY relaxed because I pushed the cart (with him in it) ahead of me and then would run up to catch it – acting like he was getting away from me.  Serious laughter and fun with that little game.  I looked like a fool, but my kid was happy and that made me happy!  I love buying him random toys when we go to Tar.get together so I was on the hunt for something fun!  He loves music so I bought him a cute little percussion instrument set, hoping that he would love it as much as the plain balls I bought him at the consignment event for $5.  HA!

We then went to DQ for a blizzard because, well, there really is no reason.  I wanted it – it’s that simple.  And it was good.  So very good!

We came home, unpacked the new toy (that took 5 minutes because it was packaged like it contained narcotics or something equivalent), had a snack, and played with the drum set.  He loves it!  He really just loves the sticks and egg shakers but he played with all the instruments and I think he’s going to just love it more and more!  I then took my sweetie for a wagon ride and that put the cherry on his sundae!  Pure bliss!  We visited with the neighbors until B got home, played some more, bathed the boy, and put him to bed too late (again).

And then I re-themed my blog.

The day ended well for us both!  I’m hoping tomorrow is better though  😉

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Our Road Trip in Photos

I took a major leap of faith and took Matthew on a big road trip – without B.  I sometimes wonder what I was thinking!  The trip was 6.5 hours each way (includes a 30-60 minute stop) and I wasn’t really sure what would happen on the road.  However, Matthew slept for most of the drives (both of them!) and only fussed for 20-30 minutes each time.  Unreal!

On the way there, we stopped at an awesome rest stop and I fed him his leftover salmon from the night before.  There was a cow pasture behind the rest stop, so we went to visit with the cows for a few minutes before getting back into the car.  We hit some rush hour traffic once in my sister’s suburb, but we just car-danced and sang our way to her house.

Once there, Matthew had the best time!  They have a dog which makes him the happiest boy alive!  Their dog is wonderful with kids and I didn’t even worry about how she would treat Matthew.  He pulled on her and climbed all over her, and she just licked him and loved him.

As I’ve already posted, Matthew didn’t feel much like going to bed alone the first night, but he did the second night and slept until 7:10 this morning.  That was nice!

We stayed very busy and I’m so glad I took this road trip with him because now I know he can handle it.  And I know that I can handle it.  It was truly easy!

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Screen Time

This post was written as a PAIL monthly theme post.

I am way behind on writing this month’s theme post – it’s due TONIGHT.  I’ve been out-of-town – on the road – parenting solo.  I didn’t think my little road trip would impact this month’s post, but it has.  You see, when you solo parent, some things just have to slide.  Like your TV rules.

We were at my sister’s house north of Chicago – the sister with FOUR kids (3 of them being (just turned) 4, almost 2 (October), and 4 months).  She is a great mom, and let’s face it, with 4 kids, you do what you have to do to stay sane.  And one of the things she does is allow TV.  This had me a bit worried before we went for our visit.

B and I do not watch TV.  It’s not that we’re all weird and against it because it’s wrong or we think it makes us stupid – we just don’t watch it.  We have other things to do (like hammer away on our computers).  We used to record shows (maybe 3 shows) but then our DVR computer broke and we realized we didn’t miss it, and that was 4 years ago.  We don’t have any premium channels because we don’t need them – because we don’t watch TV*.

This drives my parents insane.

I grew up in a TV-loving house.  My parents have always had the TV on ever since we were young.  We sometimes almost always had the TV on during dinner (but hey – we ate dinner together every night as a family so I’m not passing judgment here – most families didn’t eat together like we did and we were lucky!).  My parents have a TV in every room (and two in one of their rooms) and are proud of that.  At any given time in my parents’ house, at least two TV’s are always on (and there are only 2 people living there), and many times, there are three TV’s on.  The best part is that the majority of them are tuned in to Fox News (and I am passing judgement with that sentence.  HA!).

B and I have made a conscious decision to limit Matthew’s exposure to TV.  He does watch Law and Order with me.  Or I should say, he plays in our room while I fold laundry and watch a re-run of Law and Order.  I worry that one of his first words may be “perp.”  HA HA!  But beyond that, the boy does not watch TV.  We refer to it as “the lighted box” when he does see the TV (at my parents’ house) but the truth is – he just doesn’t care about it.  I figured it was because we were watching adult shows and nothing that would interest him.

So here I was at my sister’s where the TV is on a few times a day.  And GASP – they let the kids watch Sponge B.ob.  I wasn’t sure what to think of that but then I realized I didn’t need to think about it because Matthew didn’t pay it any attention.  He was more interested in the glowing cable box than the huge TV with colors dancing all over the screen.  I noticed that my sister’s kids didn’t care too much about it either.  All the thought I’ve put into this whole TV thing, and my child does.not.even.care.  Amazing!

We have decided that Matthew can watch TV, just not the commercialized stuff.  Nature Channel, you bet.  Sesa.me Stre.et (and yes, I know that’s highly commercialized), that’s fine.  The Wig.gles, sure (because this kid loves to dance!).  We just don’t want him watching mindless cartoons and things that provide no value at all.

I think this plan will work out because we just don’t watch TV ourselves.  If we watched TV after he went to bed, then we could have a problem on our hands.  However, we just don’t.  We’d rather rent a movie or work on our computers (which is a whole other post).

And.. this plan will work out because we just cancelled our cable.  We were paying for something neither of us used – and we are thrilled to be saving that money each month.  (Poor?) Matthew will be down to just broadcast channels when he does start watching TV, which is just the way we like it!

* When B is out of town, or sometimes during the day, I will watch a re-run of Law and Order.  I do, and always will, love that show (all varieties of it)!


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Memorable Moments Monday

The boy wouldn’t sleep. We’re visiting my sister after a 6.25 hour car ride minus B, and Matthew was too fired up and happy to go to bed on time. This photo was taken around 10:15.

He is asleep now, and we’re sharing a room so I’ll be lulled to sleep soon by the lovely ocean sound coming from the sound machine. I love the sound machine!

The drive went ridiculously well! Matthew only cried for 20-30 minutes and slept or danced the rest of the way. It’s like he knew I was solo and couldn’t entertain him. What a good boy!!!

I will not be blogging or commenting most if this week because I only have my phone and typing posts and comments via phone is not fun or easy. But I’m still reading, and thinking of all of you!!!!


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Fun Foto(s) Friday

So I do not like commercially branded things for my son (to each his own) – like Disn.ey, Dora, etc, but I could not resist this shirt at Ga.p where I found it on clearance (I don’t pay full price for anything there – besides his spring/fall jacket – which was stupid of me).  I love this outfit – like – ‘I want to put it on him again tomorrow’ kind of love!

I had my appointment with Dr H so my wonderful neighbor watched Matthew for me.  She has 18 month old twins who are Matthew’s little buddies.  They were asleep when he got there, but woke up later and he had a ball!  He was zonked when I picked him up – he slept almost 3.5 hours for his nap today  🙂

Tomorrow, I think he’ll wear his ‘Captain Amer.ica’ shirt, but we’ll see if the weather supports that idea.

He looks so grown up in this outfit. I think it’s so cute, but it makes me sad too.

Matthew with his buddy, Westin. Matthew went to see Westin and Vera while I went to see Dr. H today. I think he had a good time!


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Next Time

I went to see my OB today for my annual exam.  I love my OB.  So does B.  I honestly was so excited to see him and his nurse – it’s been a year since we last saw them at my 6-week post delivery check.

I should back up.  I didn’t always love my OB.  I had a not-so-great OB when I got pregnant so I wasn’t sad when they couldn’t get me in to see her until I was 4 months along – the nurses told me I had to pick someone else.  I wasn’t sure what to do or who to pick when the nurse on the phone said, “wait, you’re an IF patient?  Then you need to see Dr. H because he will give you the experience you’re looking for and what you’re used to from your RE (meaning hand-holding and compassion).”  OK – Dr. H it was!

He did not disappoint.

During our first visit with him, I asked if we could see just him because I don’t believe in rotating through the practice (two reasons, see below*).  He said that I was reasonable in thinking that way and that we could just see him.  I also told him that I had just watched, “The Business of Being Born,” and that I was rather concerned about a few things.  His response?  “Everything they said in that movie is true.”  I was instantly in love with him!  So we did the ultrasound, we chatted for a long time about our fertility treatments, our background, our families, etc.  He was no normal doctor, and his nurse was no normal nurse.  They were wonderful.  They felt like old friends to us!  On our way out, we booked every future OB appointment with him for the next 4 months (with the exception of one appointment because he was on vacation – so I booked with my old OB in the practice**).

This man is the most relaxed doctor I have ever met (maybe because he’s a DO and not an MD?).  When we found that Matthew was breech, he told me it was up to us if I wanted to try an external version or not – and told me not to rush the decision.  I did my homework, talked to my cousin who has delivered hundreds of babies (and attended countless versions), talked to my mom who tried a version with me (both my sister and I were breech and delivered naturally.  My older sister almost killed her (truly) and the version didn’t work for me), and discussed it with an ultrasound tech who is a very natural person.  Everyone said not to do the version – that Matthew was where he was for a reason and to leave him alone.  I agreed with that and when I told Dr. H, he said he saw no reason to try unless it was important to me (and it was not).  He also told us to skip birth class and that our time would be better spent going out to dinner together each of those nights to savor our last few weeks of “just the two of us” time.  SOLD!

So anyway, I love Dr. H.  B told me to tell Dr. H hello today because he wasn’t going with me (I had to explain to B last year why he wouldn’t be seeing Dr. H at my annual exam.  He’s such a great, supportive husband – he wanted to come with me… and he wanted to see Dr. H too!).  When Nurse A called me from the waiting room, she said, “Courtney, get back here, girl!”  She hugged me and we chatted forever!  She is so wonderful!  Then Dr. H came in and he talked with me for – I am not kidding – 45 minutes before doing the exam.  We talked about our upcoming FET, motherhood, being a SAHM, his wife’s business (she is a crazy-talented artist), parenting, B’s love of fatherhood, the US’s move from the gold standard, the American dollar being the reserve currency for oil, financial crises and the importance of eliminating our own personal debt for when the dollar totally crashes, taxation and a fair tax, the new health care policy, gay marriage, abortion, his upcoming hunting trip (B asked me to ask about that), gun safety, his 2013 hunting trip (going to Siberia), my friends who see him right now (they’re due in 2.5 weeks!!!!), and his girls.  I used to be TERRIFIED of my annual exams.  Not anymore – I look forward to them.  HA!  When the exam was done, he told me that he, “would love to keep chatting, but I have to do some work.  I was late because (nurse) A told me you were here and I wanted to have time to chat with you.”  Seriously?  He is the best doctor EVER!

So this all brings me to the point of my post.  I was chatting with SRB on skype today and we were talking about everything under the sun – and got into birth plans.  I remembered this video that my SIL posted to FB months ago and I watched it again today.  At my 6 week check last year, I asked Dr. H if I could do a VBAC next time or if I had to do a scheduled section.  Of course, he said it was up to me but that if I wanted to deliver out went close to Matthew, that it would have to be a scheduled section because of the remote chance of catastrophe with VBACs.  He said that they almost always go right, but when they go wrong, they go “catastrophically wrong.”  I have a cousin who had a ruptured uterus and it was not good.  Not good at all.  I follow some bloggers who have had ruptured uteruses and they went “catastrophically wrong.”  If there is the slightest chance that that could happen to me, it’s not worth it to me (I know that some of you would disagree and probably think I’m being too fearful – and I am!).  So I’m thinking I’ll have another scheduled section… but I’m going to ask Dr. H if we can do it this way next time (this is an amazing video – and I would encourage any woman to watch it, whether or not she’s considering (or being faced with) a c-section).  What do you think he’ll say???  I shall report back once I’m pregnant and I email this to him  😉

*  I didn’t want to rotate through the practice because I didn’t want to know which doctors I didn’t really like.  I didn’t want to go into labor and run the chance of being told that ‘Dr. “you don’t like him/her’ is on call tonight and will be delivering for you.”  That would have set a very bad tone for the most important day of my life – so I thought it was best to just not KNOW who I don’t like in case I got someone with no bedside manner.  At least that way, I wouldn’t be anticipating a bad experience and would avoid that anxiety.  The other reason I didn’t want to rotate was because if everything went well, the doctor would only be there for a few checks and then the pushing part – which isn’t the long part of the birth experience (compared to hours and hours of laboring with the nurses).  So I skipped the rotation option  😉

**  At the one appointment with my prior OB, she told me I’d gained too much weight (4 pounds at 4 months pregnant).  She made me feel like crap.  When I saw Dr. H the next month, he didn’t mention my weight so I asked him about it.  He told me that female OB’s can be hard on women with their weight gain and that I was tracking just fine – in fact, I was on the low-end even given that I started out heavier than I had wanted.  I ended up gaining only 18 pounds during the whole pregnancy.  I still, to this day, want to call my old OB and tell her just how bad she made me feel for no reason at all.