All the Sun For You

A mom, two boys, a husband, and a whole lot of adventure!

Next Time


I went to see my OB today for my annual exam.  I love my OB.  So does B.  I honestly was so excited to see him and his nurse – it’s been a year since we last saw them at my 6-week post delivery check.

I should back up.  I didn’t always love my OB.  I had a not-so-great OB when I got pregnant so I wasn’t sad when they couldn’t get me in to see her until I was 4 months along – the nurses told me I had to pick someone else.  I wasn’t sure what to do or who to pick when the nurse on the phone said, “wait, you’re an IF patient?  Then you need to see Dr. H because he will give you the experience you’re looking for and what you’re used to from your RE (meaning hand-holding and compassion).”  OK – Dr. H it was!

He did not disappoint.

During our first visit with him, I asked if we could see just him because I don’t believe in rotating through the practice (two reasons, see below*).  He said that I was reasonable in thinking that way and that we could just see him.  I also told him that I had just watched, “The Business of Being Born,” and that I was rather concerned about a few things.  His response?  “Everything they said in that movie is true.”  I was instantly in love with him!  So we did the ultrasound, we chatted for a long time about our fertility treatments, our background, our families, etc.  He was no normal doctor, and his nurse was no normal nurse.  They were wonderful.  They felt like old friends to us!  On our way out, we booked every future OB appointment with him for the next 4 months (with the exception of one appointment because he was on vacation – so I booked with my old OB in the practice**).

This man is the most relaxed doctor I have ever met (maybe because he’s a DO and not an MD?).  When we found that Matthew was breech, he told me it was up to us if I wanted to try an external version or not – and told me not to rush the decision.  I did my homework, talked to my cousin who has delivered hundreds of babies (and attended countless versions), talked to my mom who tried a version with me (both my sister and I were breech and delivered naturally.  My older sister almost killed her (truly) and the version didn’t work for me), and discussed it with an ultrasound tech who is a very natural person.  Everyone said not to do the version – that Matthew was where he was for a reason and to leave him alone.  I agreed with that and when I told Dr. H, he said he saw no reason to try unless it was important to me (and it was not).  He also told us to skip birth class and that our time would be better spent going out to dinner together each of those nights to savor our last few weeks of “just the two of us” time.  SOLD!

So anyway, I love Dr. H.  B told me to tell Dr. H hello today because he wasn’t going with me (I had to explain to B last year why he wouldn’t be seeing Dr. H at my annual exam.  He’s such a great, supportive husband – he wanted to come with me… and he wanted to see Dr. H too!).  When Nurse A called me from the waiting room, she said, “Courtney, get back here, girl!”  She hugged me and we chatted forever!  She is so wonderful!  Then Dr. H came in and he talked with me for – I am not kidding – 45 minutes before doing the exam.  We talked about our upcoming FET, motherhood, being a SAHM, his wife’s business (she is a crazy-talented artist), parenting, B’s love of fatherhood, the US’s move from the gold standard, the American dollar being the reserve currency for oil, financial crises and the importance of eliminating our own personal debt for when the dollar totally crashes, taxation and a fair tax, the new health care policy, gay marriage, abortion, his upcoming hunting trip (B asked me to ask about that), gun safety, his 2013 hunting trip (going to Siberia), my friends who see him right now (they’re due in 2.5 weeks!!!!), and his girls.  I used to be TERRIFIED of my annual exams.  Not anymore – I look forward to them.  HA!  When the exam was done, he told me that he, “would love to keep chatting, but I have to do some work.  I was late because (nurse) A told me you were here and I wanted to have time to chat with you.”  Seriously?  He is the best doctor EVER!

So this all brings me to the point of my post.  I was chatting with SRB on skype today and we were talking about everything under the sun – and got into birth plans.  I remembered this video that my SIL posted to FB months ago and I watched it again today.  At my 6 week check last year, I asked Dr. H if I could do a VBAC next time or if I had to do a scheduled section.  Of course, he said it was up to me but that if I wanted to deliver out went close to Matthew, that it would have to be a scheduled section because of the remote chance of catastrophe with VBACs.  He said that they almost always go right, but when they go wrong, they go “catastrophically wrong.”  I have a cousin who had a ruptured uterus and it was not good.  Not good at all.  I follow some bloggers who have had ruptured uteruses and they went “catastrophically wrong.”  If there is the slightest chance that that could happen to me, it’s not worth it to me (I know that some of you would disagree and probably think I’m being too fearful – and I am!).  So I’m thinking I’ll have another scheduled section… but I’m going to ask Dr. H if we can do it this way next time (this is an amazing video – and I would encourage any woman to watch it, whether or not she’s considering (or being faced with) a c-section).  What do you think he’ll say???  I shall report back once I’m pregnant and I email this to him  😉

I didn’t want to rotate through the practice because I didn’t want to know which doctors I didn’t really like.  I didn’t want to go into labor and run the chance of being told that ‘Dr. “you don’t like him/her’ is on call tonight and will be delivering for you.”  That would have set a very bad tone for the most important day of my life – so I thought it was best to just not KNOW who I don’t like in case I got someone with no bedside manner.  At least that way, I wouldn’t be anticipating a bad experience and would avoid that anxiety.  The other reason I didn’t want to rotate was because if everything went well, the doctor would only be there for a few checks and then the pushing part – which isn’t the long part of the birth experience (compared to hours and hours of laboring with the nurses).  So I skipped the rotation option  😉

**  At the one appointment with my prior OB, she told me I’d gained too much weight (4 pounds at 4 months pregnant).  She made me feel like crap.  When I saw Dr. H the next month, he didn’t mention my weight so I asked him about it.  He told me that female OB’s can be hard on women with their weight gain and that I was tracking just fine – in fact, I was on the low-end even given that I started out heavier than I had wanted.  I ended up gaining only 18 pounds during the whole pregnancy.  I still, to this day, want to call my old OB and tell her just how bad she made me feel for no reason at all. 

Author: Courtney

Hi, there, I’m Courtney. I never planned to stay home with my kids, but I got sucked into motherhood when my first baby came into our lives after years of infertility and multiple rounds of IVF. His brother followed closely behind, something we didn’t plan on after having such a rough road with achieving parenthood the first time around. My boys are IVF cycle twins, conceived on the same day but born two years and one day apart (they were both transferred on the same day in October, but with two years between them). My boys are the best of friends and my husband is a terrific husband, father, and most importantly… friend. He fully supported my desire to stay home (“I just wanted it to be your idea and not mine, I totally want you to stay home and raise our kids!”) and encourages me in everything I do. I am a lover of projects, spreadsheets, fitness, healthy cooking and eating, crafts, selling my stuff on FB (HA!), and the outdoors. If I’m active, I’m pretty darn happy!

12 thoughts on “Next Time

  1. I think it’s SO important to have a good relationship with your doctor, especially your OB since it’s so personal. I absolutely love my OB too and also look forward to my visits, even annual exams. And I need to watch The Business of Being Born- I’ve heard it’s excellent

  2. Wow, what an amazing video!! I’m so thankful that I was able to have the birth experience I had dreamed of, but if we had any complications that required a c-section, this definitely seems like the way to go!!

  3. That video blew my mind. I will be bookmarking it, just in case.

    I reading ALL your descriptions of Dr. H. today, I think he must have been a kindly old midwife in another life. Not just his attitudes, but his whole attitude and demeanor. Like, I think I’m in love with him.

    And I totally feel you on still be angry at a shitty experience with an OB. I complained to the College of Physician and Surgeons in my province about my OB/GYN. And I’m not the first one either. But I guess they don’t get censured for being assholes. They have to suck at medicine, not being a human being.

    ANYWAY. We found professional that we know, trust… even love! FTW!

    • P.S. Look at you… embedding videos, all fancy like! 🙂

    • Everyone is in love with Dr. H – even B 😉 We joke about us both having a crush on him. He spent as much time focusing on B during my appointments (of course B went to every one because, well – that’s B!) as he did on Matthew and me.

      Who wouldn’t be in love with him?

      It’s so important to find someone you like and trust!

  4. Damnit, one more thing to be jealous of – your awesome OB!! I seriously am. I didn’t have the best of experiences with the doctor who delivered Sofia (I loved him up until that point, but his hospital behavior was not ideal). I really really really want to find a natural option for whenever the next time comes around. I don’t know if it’s in the cards, but that’s my goal. But, just in case, and because it sounds really interesting, I will be marking this post to return to when I can access the video.

  5. Your doctor sounds amazing! I really liked our RE also, but even moreso I liked our nurse and she’s the one we dealt with most of the time anyway. I’m at work now, so I’ll have to watch that video later, but you sure have me intrigued.

  6. So cool that you have such a great doc! I love that video – definitely not what my c-section was like…

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