A recent post of mine elicited many comments saying that we should “make it a thing.”  I don’t really know how to “make it a thing,” so here is my attempt!

We all learn things about ourselves when we move into new phases in our lives – and parenting is no different.  What have YOU learned about yourself, as a parent, that has really surprised you?  What are your top 10 surprising realizations of yourself as a mom or dad?

Go ahead and make your own posts and link back to this so that I can come read them all.  HA!

Here’s my #1 – will it be on your lists?

🙂

We had an unseasonably warm day today here in Iowa.  It was almost 80 degrees, which meant it was time to go to the park!

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The rest of the week will be warm so we’re planning to max out on fun!

Matthew fell asleep in the car yesterday just before nap time.  I have been very lucky lately in that he lets me transfer him rather easily from the car to the crib, as long as he doesn’t need a diaper change.   Yesterday, he needed a diaper change because he was in a cloth diaper that was already wet.

Matthew was so tired that he slept through everything – the transfer out of his car seat and into the house, his diaper change, and transfer into the crib.  It was precious, even if it did result in a “short” nap for him (only 2 hours).

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This is a review of Howard Leopold, Charles (Chuck) Matthews, Sussman Acura (in Jenkintown, PA), and Sussman Automotive.

Wow – what a weekend!  After my last post, we got B home and he filled me in on the entire situaiton with Howard Leopold, Charles (Chuck) Matthews, Sussman Acura (in Jenkintown, PA), and Sussman Automotive.

Howard Leopold and Charles (Chuck) Matthews at Sussman Acura in Jenkintown, PA, cost our family over $1,000 with nothing to show for it.  They messed with our lives and finances – something that you should NEVER to do someone.

The story before THE STORY is that Howard Leopold from Sussman Acura/Sussman Automotive sold us a certified 2008 Acura MDX with Tech and Entertainment packages.  Howard Leopold assured B several times that the vehicle had never been in an accident and that, in fact, Acura won’t certify vehicles that have been in accidents.  Howard Leopold also told B that the interior and exterior were in “like new” condition and confirmed twice that the vehicle was getting brand new tires before we picked it up.  There were several email exchanges and phone calls between Howard Leopold and B leading up to B’s booking of his flight and one-way travel from Iowa to Philadelphia to pick up the vehicle.  Having worked with several Acura dealerships in the past, and having nothing but fabulous outcomes with their certification vehicles, we felt comfortable buying our fourth certified Acura sight-unseen as we had always done in the past.

So the whole story, once B came home and shared it with me, goes like this:

Howard Leopold sent someone to pick B up at the train station who took him back to the dealership to pick up the car.  Howard Leopold gave B the keys to take it for a spin.  B opened the door and it smelled like dog urine.  He noticed a film all over the dash, carpet, and seats.  Most of the leather was obviously scratched or cut by dog claws.  At this point, B didn’t get in the vehicle because it smelled that bad, and was filthy.  The carpet had numerous large, dark stains on it.  He rolled down the windows and decided to look at the outside of the vehicle as it aired out.  He opened the passenger door and it kept griding, so he wondered what was up.  When he shut the door, a bunch of glass fell out of the door (holy hell!).  So he inspected the body of the vehicle and the passenger door and fender had obviously been repainted.   He also noticed that the vehicle did not have new tires as promised by Howard Leopold.

Back to the story.  B picked up the broken glass and walked into Howard Leopold’s office, where he was meeting with other customers.  B just walked in, threw the broken glass on Howard Leopold’s desk and said, “you promised me this vehicle had not been in any accidents, but this came out of the door and the door and fender have been badly repainted.  You flat-out lied to me, Howard.”  Howard Leopold whisked B away from the other customers and told him it had not been in an accident.  WHAT?  B then mentioned the smell in the car and all the damage and Howard Leopold told B that they had a “difference of opinion” on the quality of the car.

B insisted on talking the GM but they sent him to an assistant Manager instead.  B was not standing for this and shut the guy’s office door and told him that he has nowhere to be, so he (B) and the assistant will wait until they call Charles (Chuck) Matthews, the GM, in to speak with him.  This got the assistant to finally relent and get Charles (Chuck) Matthews for B.

Charles (Chuck) Matthews refused to go out to view the vehicle with B.  Therefore, B and Charles (Chuck) Matthews spent about 20 minutes in an office as they discussed the misrepresentation of the vehicle by Howard Leopold.  At this point, Charles (Chuck) Matthews told B that the vehicle had a clean Car.Fax report and that’s all they had to go on to say it had not been in an accident and to certify it.  B pointed out the paint repair (it was a bad paint job and was wavy in sections) on the door and fender and Charles (Chuck) Matthews actually said, “oh, and the hood’s been repainted too.  But we just have to go on what Car.Fax says and they say no accidents.”  B asked to see the certification checklist from the mechanic and Charles (Chuck) Matthews refused to show it to him.  Keep in mind that we had paid a $2,000 deposit on the vehicle, and the GM at the dealership refused to show B the certification checklist.  Also keep in mind that we have the certification checklists from our other 2 Acuras that we purchased recently – and in fact included it in the RDX that we just sold.  The buyer is entitled to that checklist.  Apparently Charles (Chuck) Matthews, Sussman Acura, and Sussman Automotive disagree with this type of full-disclosure.

Charles (Chuck) Matthews then offered B a BRAND NEW MDX for $15,000 more than the vehicle we FLEW TO PA to purchase, and said, “that’s a good deal on that vehicle.”

Charles (Chuck) Matthews and Howard Leopold of Sussman Acura literally pulled a bait and switch on us given that the vehicle that was described to us (no accidents), that we went to purchase, was not actually available for sale.

Charles (Chuck) Matthews refused to help B return home to his family on Labor Day weekend and instead of crediting us for the $2,000 deposit we paid, charged us another $2,000.  We discovered this just last night. and have opened disputes with our credit card companies.  At this point in time, Sussman Acura and Sussman Automotive have $4,000 of our money and we have no vehicle.  On top of that, we are out the additional $1,000 in travel expenses due to the unethical activities of Howard Leopold, Charles (Chuck) Matthews, Sussman Acura, and Sussman Automotive.

So that’s the whole story.  I am posting this so that anyone researching Sussman Acura, Sussman Automotive, Howard Leopold, or Charles (Chuck) Matthews can see just the type of people they would be dealing with.

I am about to cry.  I have no vehicle.  The dealership lied to us and told us the vehicle we were buying had never been in an accident.  B flew out today to get it with a check in hand.  When he got there, they told him it had been in an accident.

And it smelled like dog pee.

We sold my car this past week.  I have no vehicle and B needs his car for work.  I am car-less.  For real – for an indefinite amount of time.  And we don’t live within walking distance of a damned thing.  Hell, our neighborhood isn’t even connected to a main sidewalk.  I live on an effing island.

Tears are coming.

If the deal sounds too good to be true – it is.  Even when the dealer certifies the vehicle and says it’s never been in an accident.

Dealership, in an attempt to get the word out, it Sussman Acura in Jenkintown, PA.  The particular sales person who did this to us is Howard Leopold.  The General Manager who wouldn’t even help pay for a flight home, after knowingly lying to B about the vehicle’s accident history, is named Charles  (Chuck) A. Matthews.  We will be filing formal complaints with Acura USA on Monday.

I am without my own vehicle for a few days.  My sweet husband bought me a car in Philadelphia.

We live in Iowa.

I am a nervous wreck about it because what if he flies out there to seal the deal on Saturday and they’ve sold it to someone else?  I’ve been micro-managing this whole endeavor because I’m that worried that they’ll pull a bait-and-switch on us.  I don’t know why I’m so nervous about this – this is how B always buys cars (we always buy pre-owned vehicles).  He bought his first Acura on Ebay, for God’s sake, back when that was really risky!  He had the winning bid, bought it sight unseen, flew out there with his buddy, picked it up in SoHo, and drove it home.  That car treated us very well.  We always wondered if it had been in an accident (it had a clean carf*x report when B bought it) because there was some paint damage and my feet always froze in the winter when I was a passenger in it.  (Turned out that there was an accident on the report many years later when we sold it – the accident was just before B bought it so it wasn’t on the report right away.  Sneaky of that seller.  But honestly, that car was a dream!)

The next vehicle we bought out-of-state was my RDX – and we were a bit more conventional with that one.  We found it at an Acura dealership online and drove up to Minnesota to buy it.  We knew before we left our driveway and before seeing it that we were buying it.  They told us it had a little scratch on the front fender and it turned out to be more than a little scratch, but it was certified, the price was right, and we’d already sold my other vehicle.  Meant to be.  We bought it.  It’s been a great vehicle, aside from its lack of room for an additional car seat.

The next vehicle purchased out-of-state is the one B drives now and we got it at the same dealership as my RDX – but he bought it sight unseen again over the phone and just drove up to get it.  They told us it was perfect and it was, aside from a couple soft dents in the trunk that we got fixed for $200.  Again, it was certified, exactly what we wanted, and the price was right.  It’s been a great vehicle.

When it came time for this new vehicle, we were having a heck of a time finding exactly what we wanted for a good price.  We like to spend as little as possible but still have a Hon.da product in the end with few miles and certified, if possible.   We even looked outside of our comfort zone of Hon.da/Acu.ra but found that we’d be spending just as much, or more, for a vehicle we didn’t even really want.  As we searched, we realized that we were more particular on color than we thought (damn that black MDX that passed B on the interstate when he was pondering our color choices!) and realized that a rear entertainment system may give us the ability to travel again (oh, our hopes are way up on this one!).

The prices in the midwest were ridiculous.  I mean – INSANE.  So of course B got on Ebay (I shuddered) and found one for a super-duper price (more shuddering).  It was too good to be true, but needed to be checked out (even more shuddering).  I was very huffy about this particular vehicle because I was having flashbacks of all of those years in the front seat of the CL in the winter time, complaining about my freezing feet and not being able to warm the car enough to defrost them (turned out that the insulation had not been replaced after the apparent accident that was not on the damned Carf.ax report).  I refused to drive a vehicle that was bought at a corner no-name/no-brand dealership in Brooklyn that was asking a price that was insanely low.  I said that it was super cheap for a reason.  I said there was no way, NO WAY, that I would put our son in a vehicle that had not been fully inspected and evaluated by someone with the skills to do so (and this statement was not fair, because it implied that B would put our son in said vehicle and I promise you – he would not)!  And no – we were not asking our friend’s friend in Brooklyn to look at it for us – because he doesn’t know what’s under a hood.

And then I cried a bit.

But then B found Lemonsquad.com.   Have you heard of this?  No?  It is AMAZING!  THEY ARE AMAZING!  All B had to do was call them up, tell them the situation and where the car was located, and the guy had someone go test drive it within 24 hours of our call.  I believe the test-driver was a mechanic.  They did a 130 (or so) point inspection and hooked a computer up to it to read everything there was to read on the vehicle.  They took photos.  They took notes.  They saved us!  Note that when we called the dealership about the vehicle, the sales guy said it had a few scratches on the left side, but other than that, “PERFECT.”

Um.. no.

Lemonsquad gave the vehicle a grade of D.  I was expecting it to be bad (because I’m a negative nancy that way), but not THAT bad.  Here’s a snippet from the report:

“The entire left side of the vehicle has been previously repaired and repainted, as well as the right side quarter panel and doors, including bumpers also. These repairs do not look perfect, some details of the body work are noticeable; the paint finish is not completely smooth, and even dull on some of the areas.”

And there were photos… 53 of them showing all of the damage.  As B just said (when I was asking for a refresher on all of its issues), “it looked like it had been to the Apocalypse and back.”  HA!

This cost us only $150.  Money well-spent, holy hell!

So that brings me to our car in Philly.  It’s certified, it has low miles, it’s black, it has the rear entertainment system, it has navigation (I cannot live without that), and it’s the right price!  When B called the dealership on Saturday with questions, they mentioned that they’d gotten lots of calls on it already.  We wouldn’t normally believe this kind of selling tactic, but the truth is, we’d lost out on two vehicles in Manhattan (not ones from shady dealers) just earlier in the week so we knew that they went fast out east (probably because of their awesome pricing).

B bought it for me.  Sight unseen.  I’m so happy about it!  He flies out Saturday  morning to get it and will be home by Sunday night.  In the end, this out-of-state purchase will save us about $3,500.  I’ll take it!  The big unknown was getting rid of my current vehicle and we did that today after a lot of back-and-forth.  A dealership flat-out bought it from us for a pretty good price considering the body damage I’d done to it right when we got it (I ran into our garbage cans and just kept going, because, “you know, they’re plastic and they won’t hurt the car”).

So we’re a single-car-family for a week and that usually works out just fine for us.  I have to be flexible for B so that he’s able to get to where he needs to be.  No problem!

Now I just hope my new car is really there on Saturday!

One word – TEETHING.

I am going to make this quick.  I have a favor to ask.  I’m not the most religious of folks.  Spiritual?  Yes.  Religious?  No.  But someone I know needs positive thoughts and prayers.

Friends of ours delivered their baby daughter on Monday at 25 weeks gestation.  She’s tiny (1.38 pounds, 12 inches) and precious and seemingly doing well – but positive thoughts and prayers (if you’re of the praying persuasion) can’t do anything but help the situation.  If you can just send up a quick happy thought or prayer for “Baby Laura,” it would be so appreciated!

I told B today that I spend about 90% of my time right now thinking of my friends and their daughter.  Every little thing that Matthew does makes me think of the struggle that they’re going through at that very moment.  I have a knot in my stomach just thinking of what they’re all going through and the fight they have ahead of them.

Thanks, everyone!

Quick update on my friend who I wrote about last week.  Her FET worked and she is good and pregnant!  She had a super strong beta (863 at 12dp5dt) so we are all hoping that she is D-O-N-E with treatments for the rest of her life!

So happy for her!

I did tell her that I’m a little jealous that all of this IF business is behind her now.  I know that IF leaves you a scarred person even when you’re done building your family, but she now knows how her family is going to look 9 months from now and for the rest of her life – and that has brought her a great amount of peace.  I am in no hurry to have another baby just yet, but it sure would be nice to not have to wonder if we’ll even be able to give M a little friend all his own.  That is all.

My own jealousy aside, I am over the moon for her!