B just left for an overnight work trip, and of course Bryson is sick. I was up literally all night with him until 4:45 when he finally fell asleep. Until Matthew woke up – at 6:13. And Matthew woke up sick too (I knew this would happen after listening to him cough all night on the monitor). So here we go. Happy effing Monday! 😉
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I had a whole post written, but not yet saved, on my mobile WordPress app when I added pictures and it crashed. I hate, hate, HATE the mobile WordPress app on our phones. Gah! It was a REAL post too, and not just a post of photos.
But now, this post is just a post of photos. Because its 5:05 AM and I’m tired. And my nursing, fussy, gassy baby may be nursed enough to sleep to sleep in his rocker and not with me.
The gist? We’re on vacation, but it doesn’t feel like a vacation since we have the complexities that come with traveling with a toddler and a newborn. But we are having fun – as evidenced by the storage space being used on my phone to document said fun. 😉
(I keep getting upload errors when trying to attach images, so there will be no snapshot to this edition of “The Monday Snapshot!”)
I started taking these pictures of Matthew on accident, really, when he was a little over a year old. I was cycling out his 6-12 month clothes and replacing them with 12-18 month clothes. When I took the picture of him on his pile of retired clothes, I wished I’d done that every time he moved up a size. I told myself then that I would do that every time he moved up to a new size… And I’ve remembered to do it!
Matthew was still in some 18-24 jeans (and could still wear them now) and t-shirts until just now so I’ve been waiting to take the photo. It turns out that Bryson is moving to all 3-6 month clothes now (which is exactly when Matthew moved into them too), so it was time to take his photo on his 0-3 month pile of clothes.
Taking Bryson’s photo today really made me wish I’d done this all along with Matthew. Sigh!
My cousin gave Bryson a new book, and Matthew promptly made his way over to read it to him. They sure love each other!
Here is proof that kids only fall asleep in the car when we DON’T want them to!
I had an OB appointment today (6 week post-delivery check – more on that later) right in the middle of nap time – so I put the boys in the car 1.25 hours before needing to drop Matthew off at the neighbor’s. I was hoping that he would fall asleep like he ALWAYS does in the car (you know – like at 11:30 in morning which is super early for a nap?) but after an hour of driving – there was still no nap.
We suffered the rest of the day because of this.
This photo proves two things – that kids only nap in the car when you want them to stay awake (and then mess up their nap that is supposed to happen later in the day) and that Matthew clearly still needs a daily nap!
It’s our first day on our own without B – FOR REAL. He went back to work at 7:00 AM, leaving me with two very needy boys. Matthew was a wreck this morning, missing his dad beyond comprehension. Bryson needed a nap but couldn’t sleep. It took me 1.5 hours to shower and do my hair. It was not good. When my neighbor texted me asking if we wanted to come down and play, I was so happy and relieved! E and I have play dates with our kids multiple days a week, and we’ve missed that with B being home on Infant Care Leave.
I was so excited to “get back to normal.”
And “back to normal” we were… or as “back to normal” as we could be. Matthew was so happy to be back with his best buddies, and I was happy to have some female interaction. Even E’s vomiting infant didn’t phase me – I just loved having my normal company back! When we left, we headed to Mc.D’s for my lunch (I’m bad, I know) and then home for Matthew’s lunch before his nap. He’s been taking shorter naps recently – frighteningly short for this house (1.5 hours) – but he did a full 2 hours today (before you roll your eyes at me, keep in mind he only sleeps 9 hours at night time).
While Matthew napped, Bryson did this… And it lasted long enough for me to turn on my phone and take several pictures!
Matthew loves holding Bryson. He asks to hold him many times each day by sitting down, spreading his legs, and tapping the space between his knees. I’m not one to restrict access to the baby, because I think Matthew needs to have the freedom to explore and get to know his brother. So I always say yes, and let him hold Bryson all on his own. So far, the baby has not been tossed… Not yet, anyway!
Someone turned 2 today!
We had a terrific day – it was packed full of fun and excitement! We wanted to have a memorable day before we become a family of 4 tomorrow. Here is what we did:
6:15 – Matthew woke up (WHY so early all the time, Little Man?!?!)
10:15 – Breakfast at our favorite place downtown (La Mie Bakery)
11:15 – Science Center for the first time – it was a hit!
12:45 – Stopped at B’s work for a visit with his coworkers – they wanted to see the birthday boy 🙂
1:45 – Asleep in the car (oh no! Please stay asleep when I transfer you to the crib!)
2:00 – Nap (successful transfer!)
4:45 – Up from the nap – woke up a bit fussy (usual)
5:00 – Matthew went out to the garage to find his big present – his Strider Bike (“A BIKE, a BIKE!”)
5:10 – Played a little basketball (with the football) out back
5:30 – B took Matthew on a ride in the Burley for the first time – he loved it!
5:40 – Matthew wanted (and got) another Burley ride 🙂
5:50 – Matthew tried out his new BIKE!
6:00 – Matthew had is favorite meal for dinner – Chipotle! (Carnitas, guacamole, and strawberries)
6:15 – Hung Matthew’s room-darkening mural!
6:20 – We all went for a drive to get some frosty beverages
6:40 – B took us to the Corvette dealership just to take a look (not at all seriously looking, but thought it would be fun – and Matthew did love it!)
7:10 – Took a family walk to the neighbors’ to take them leftover cupcakes from Matthews birthday party. He got to play with his best friends, V and W!
7:30 – B’s and my best friends came by for cupcakes – Matthew was a show-off (and threw his new lantern at their 9 month old – ugh!)
8:30 – Bath time!
9:08 – Bed time
9:34 – Sound asleep
Happy birthday, sweet, sweet boy! I love you so much!
This weekend, I needed to look for something under my bathroom sink. Many things get tossed under my bathroom sink (extra hair products, toothbrush head replacements, contact solution), but something very personal is kept there too.
My used and unused fertility drugs, needles, prescription labels, and old HPT’s (only ones from my successful cycles) are kept under my sink – far away from anyone who would wonder why I still have them, but close enough for me to always know they’re there.
I had to dig and dig to find what I was looking for (and never found them) and pulled the bags full of unused needles, labels, extra meds, and HPT’s out to keep searching. I then found a 2 liter bottle full of fertility needles and used vials – probably from the cycle that worked for Matthew. I disposed of many, many IVF needles about 4 months ago and did not know that I still had a bottle full of used needles from our IVF efforts stashed away somewhere. I was sort of stunned to find them, actually.
Under my sink were 4 IVF (2 fresh and 2 frozen)Â cycles worth of used needles, memorabilia, and emotions.
And now in my garbage can, shred pile, and (proper) needle disposal containers are 4 IVF cycles worth of… nothing.
Several months ago, I was not ready to let go of all of this, especially the prescription labels. Today – I am.
As I cut the 2 liter bottle open (because you can’t dispose of them that way, apparently, so I needed to put them in laundry bottles instead) and sifted through various needles and vials of used medications, I remembered certain things. I thought about how I administered Foll.istim (I had forgotten how the needles screwed onto the pen), how I mixed my Repron.ex each night, and how surprised I was that Ovid.rel came in glass syringes.
But I was not emotional.
I was not at all clinging onto these things any longer. The same is true for the prescription labels I dutifully pulled off of boxes and bottles to put in the shred pile as I put the bottles and boxes in the trash.
I felt nothing.
I thought a little about the HPT’s from this cycle and decided to just keep the first one that showed me that Bryson was coming (4dp5dt) and the one taken at 7dp5dt because that was the date of the one I still have from Matthew’s cycle (they were transferred on the exact same date, just 2 years apart). All the rest went in the trash can.
Am I healed from the pain of our infertility? Those prescription labels were a testament to what we went through, the years of agony and depression, the effort we put into building our family. Today – they are nothing more than trash.
I dare say I might be healed… and that’s a good feeling!
This is my contribution to the Monday Snapshot at PAIL.
All the Sun For You 