We spent the weekend sharing two cabins amongst B’s immediate family (MIL, FIL, SIL1, SIL2, BIL, niece, nephew, the four of us). It was, surprisingly, a very fun, comfortable time. The only issue, and I truly mean ONLY issue, was our niece who is very mean, selfish, and manipulative with everyone, but specifically with Matthew. By the end of the weekend, Matthew had started mimicking her nasty behavior (being antagonistic, pushing Bryson over, claiming everything as his) and I was pretty upset. It’s hard when you spend lots of time with people who parent so differently from you, that you need to expend most of your energy running interference between the kids. My SIL does not correct her daughter, and claims that everything she does is “just helping.” Sneakily pulling a chair out from under a two year old is not helping. Running toward him and shoving him backwards off his feet and onto the floor, and then telling us that “he slipped,” is not helping. Calling Matthew over for a hug, and then kicking him in the face telling him not to touch her is not helping. This went on ALL weekend, and her mother stepped in only a few times. Other than that, she’d say, “I know you’re just helping him.”. Gah! So I stepped in, and B stepped in, and called both kids out on their behavior all weekend.
We’re home now, and we’re sort of “reprogramming” Matthew into the nice boy we took on vacation with us. We’ve heard fewer, “mine’s” out of him today, and he’s only pushed Bryson down once. We’re getting there.
And everyone is napping and sleeping in their rightful places again!
(Please don’t think that I think Matthew is perfect. He’s not. Just ask the neighbor boy he bit (first time for that – GAH!) last week and his preschool teachers who keep teaching him to NOT TAKE TOYS FROM HIS FRIENDS! Ha!)
All the Sun For You 
January 27, 2014 at 3:36 pm
Oh gosh, your niece sure does sound like a naughty little thing!! Eek! I am sure Matthew will be back to his old self very soon. Glad you had a nice time for the most part though! 🙂
Unrelated.. I have been thinking of you and sleep issues lately and need to look through your old posts. We just moved Lids into a big kid bed and it went okay but took almost an hour of cuddles until she was asleep and I could sneak out, and I don’t see that changing easily without a lot of screaming. I think I remember you having a similar issue with M right? Now I just need to see what you did to fix it! That was pretty recently you wrote about that am I right?
January 27, 2014 at 3:48 pm
Oh, Fiona, I had to lay with him until he was sound asleep for MONTHS. But one day, he just pushed me aside and rolled over and I walked out, and that’s how it’s been since then. I think we had B do bed time a few times before that which may have helped. But I let him lead me. I’m not saying that was correct.
I did read to say, “one more song and then I’m going to go to my own bed,” and then stick to it. I say that every night and there’s no protest at all. I rarely need to go back in to resettle him, and if I do, it’s a quick re-tuck, singing of abc’s, and then i exit. If he wakes at night and calls me, I do the same thing. They seem to understand, “mommy needs to go to bed.”
Good luck. It can be so hard!
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January 28, 2014 at 9:01 am
Thanks Courtney!! I did the laying again last night and it was about the same time.. around an hour.. I actually kind of enjoy it (okay, I kind of love it) because it is great cuddle time BUT I don’t have time to do it every night with tidying from dinner, evening work, etc. before I need to go to bed myself, so cutting down to 30 minutes would be ideal. I guess I will just do the same and let her lead. I do tell her one more book or song but she gets so sad that I can’t leave. We are also having a big problem with her waking at night and at that point only wanting to come to our bed. It isn’t too bad now because she comes in bed and just goes to sleep but once I get really pregnant, there won’t be any room for her in the double bed (which is tight with all 3 already) so we really need to work on that too. Ohhh toddlers! They are always giving us new challenges! 🙂
January 30, 2014 at 10:05 am
Your niece sounds infuriating! I know JJ wouldn’t tolerate either, even if it was a family member. He is so protective of his baby girl. I’m sorry that your SIL didn’t interfere more and you were left being the “bad guy” but it sounds like Matthew wasn’t phased by it too much in the long run because you guys do a great job with your parenting. Glad to hear you had a great time otherwise!