All the Sun For You

A mom, two boys, a husband, and a whole lot of adventure!

Scares and Realizations


We had a bit of a scare yesterday – and I’ll start by saying that everything is fine.

I had an earlier start than normal yesterday morning because Matthew and I were both ready to get the day started.  B had taken off for the gym at 5:30 and I never really fell back asleep after he left, so by the time Matthew got up at 7:00 and finished breakfast and his normal Curious George viewing by 8:15, we were ready to get a move-on!

As I hopped in the shower, I wondered why I hadn’t felt Bryson move yet.  I thought and thought about the last time I felt him move, and the last time was around 11:30 the night before.  I didn’t panic, but was a bit concerned.  As we showered, I thought back to when I got up to use the bathroom at 3:00 and again at 5:30 that morning, and realized that despite his normal routine, Bryson didn’t move.  As I tried not to freak out and rush our shower, my mind was racing as I was trying to shake Bryson awake.  Nothing was working.

When we finished up, I promptly got Matthew dressed and then downed a bunch of cold water.  Nothing.  I texted B that I needed him home and why.  I tried calling him too.  He wasn’t responding.  I leaned up against the bathroom counter which always gets Bryson riled up, and again – nothing.  I laid on the floor and had Matthew sit on my belly (Bryson hates that), and again – nothing.  I laid on my side in the bed and talked to B long enough to just tell him to get home NOW, and again – nothing.  Back to the bathroom counter I went and I thought maybe I felt something, but then realized it was my pulse I was feeling.  My mind kept going to those awful places you can’t help, and I was feeling scared that we were maybe in some trouble.

I don’t do kick counts with this baby.  I did with Matthew since he didn’t move a ton, but Bryson is so predictable.  I ALWAYS know the last time I felt him moving because he’s moving, and kicking the hell out of me, all the time.  When I get up to use the restroom in the night, he wakes up too.  When I get up to check on Matthew when he’s sick, Bryson gets up too.  The minute I’m up in the morning, he’s up and making his presence known very firmly, and for hours at a time.  He’s an active baby.  Realizing that I’d felt nothing from him in over 9 hours was freaking me out, especially when my efforts at waking him up were going un-noticed by him.

As I stood at that bathroom counter, wondering if I should call the doctor (in two pregnancies so far, I’ve only called the doctor once with a concern), the phone rang.  It was the triage nurse – B had called her after we hung up.  She asked what was going on, asked if I was doing kick counts (I explained why I don’t need to – and why I was freaking out), and told me what she wanted me to do.  I was to eat something high in sugar, drink more cold water, and lay down for up to an hour, or until I felt 10 movements.  I know all of this, and was trying it leading up to this point (besides the sugar because we don’t have that stuff in the house), but I really needed to just FOCUS and not have a toddler to tend to.  I ate Matthew’s rejected blueberries and a banana and got in bed just as B was getting home.  He came home to me in tears, waiting desperately for some movement.  I asked him to get me a super icy water bottle and with that and the banana, Bryson finally woke up.  He wasn’t near as active as he usually is, but as time went on, he got stronger and I only counted the good kicks because I wasn’t messing around with this.  It took 16 minutes from the first strong kick to the 10th – so that’s pretty good.  I laid there longer just letting him beat on me… feeling good knowing he was OK.  (And I called the nurse back, letting her know that things were fine.)

After that, our day really started and we had a great day.  I think it’s amazing how quickly things can go from a complete panic attack to perfectly fine.  All I needed was for my baby to move like he usually does and I could move on.

What did come from all of this is B’s realization that we really are close to having this baby and he needs to keep his phone with him and turned up at all times, my realization that we must keep something sugary in the house in case this happens again (my awesome neighbor gave me a Snic.kers bar for this – and it’s been hard not eating it!), and… I finally packed for the hospital.  Because this baby is REAL and he is coming any time now.  I’ll be 36 weeks this Saturday, and he truly could make an appearance at any point in time.

What did I pack?  I want to list it here in case we have another baby in a couple of years.  With Matthew, I just packed shit – lots of it.  I didn’t need a bunch of it so I’m not doing that this time around.  I was very methodical:

  • 3 of my own maternity/nursing hospital gowns (I highly recommend these – they’re pretty and more comfortable!)
  • 5 baby nightgowns (all worn by Matthew – they are so cute!)
  • 2 muslin swaddling blankets
  • 2 swaddlers just in case he’s good at getting his hands out of the hospital blankets used to swaddle him
  • 2 “coming home” outfits for Bryson (I will decide which one he wears once he’s born)
  • 1 “coming home” hat for Bryson
  • 1 pair of “coming home” booties for Bryson
  • 2 newborn baby hats for photos (thank you, Etsy!)
  • 1 special blanket for Bryson (bought this today at my favorite baby boutique – yay!)
  • Ear plugs (B will be with me and can wake me when Bryson wakes up in the night)
  • Contact solution, case, toothbrush, toothpaste, makeup, hair products, lip balm, etc.
  • Med.ela hydrogel pads for relieving sad nipples

I will pack an outfit for me to come home in later on – I need to keep wearing my faves for now!

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Today has been much better – Bryson is back to his normal self and beating me up for hours at a time.  I prefer it this way!



Author: Courtney

Hi, there, I’m Courtney. I never planned to stay home with my kids, but I got sucked into motherhood when my first baby came into our lives after years of infertility and multiple rounds of IVF. His brother followed closely behind, something we didn’t plan on after having such a rough road with achieving parenthood the first time around. My boys are IVF cycle twins, conceived on the same day but born two years and one day apart (they were both transferred on the same day in October, but with two years between them). My boys are the best of friends and my husband is a terrific husband, father, and most importantly… friend. He fully supported my desire to stay home (“I just wanted it to be your idea and not mine, I totally want you to stay home and raise our kids!”) and encourages me in everything I do. I am a lover of projects, spreadsheets, fitness, healthy cooking and eating, crafts, selling my stuff on FB (HA!), and the outdoors. If I’m active, I’m pretty darn happy!

19 thoughts on “Scares and Realizations

  1. Oh Courtney, how scary! It’s funny that everyone is always so eager to hit viability but for me, the real worry is always that the baby will just die inside of me and I won’t know. I’m constantly keeping track of when I last felt him and if I haven’t for a while I do my sure-fire-ways-to-rile-him-up. If I feel really concerned I pull out my doppler.

    The truth is, I’ll be worried about something happening until the day my baby is born and I’m sure I’ll have scares like the one you did today. It’s so terrifying. I’m just glad that everything is okay now and you’ve been feeling him since then. I hope no more scares before he comes.

    • You know, I’m the same way. When I was being prepped for my C-section with Matthew, all I kept thinking was, “just get him out NOW.” I pay attention because I don’t want to miss something that I could have maybe caught. Too many people have sad outcomes to long pregnancies. I’m more relaxed this time around, but still vigilant. I was pretty upset with myself that I didn’t realize it until I’d been up for several hours. After several hours, it could be too late (and I kept thinking that the whole time I was trying to get him to move).

      I’m hoping this is a one-and-done situation. I had a couple short little scares with Matthew, but they were over and done with as soon as I tried my tricks. This one lasted way too long (I think 45-50 minutes).

      Pregnancy is scary – up until the final moments!

      • The perinatal death rate actually doesn’t increase until after the 41st or 42nd week of pregnancy has been completed (Depending upon which research you follow). Just FYI! Also, the increased death rate is partly because of congenital abnormalities that are more common in babies that go > 42 weeks – and those weren’t caused by being overdue – they were just there all along. I say that to be reassuring that having a “longer” pregnancy isn’t synonymous with being more dangerous! (even if it can be scary as the Mom b/c you feel like you have less control) That’s just a scary urban legend basically. Like a lot of sad things in the ALI community, we just hear and remember more of the scary/sad stories than the general population unfortunately. 😦

  2. That is scary!! And yes you are closer than you think. I love the maternity gowns!! If I get pregnant again then I am definitely going to invest in some of those.

    Bryson don’t be scaring your mama!

  3. So glad to hear all is well! What a terrifying morning – so sorry you had to go through that.

  4. That would have absolutely terrified me! I’m so glad everything turned out OK!

  5. Whoa! Although you prefaced this post by saying everything was ok, my heart was still in my throat while reading this. I’m so happy that everything is alright, and thanks for sharing your experience. If this happens to me, I’ll have an idea of what to do.

  6. Avery was a mover and kick the s*** out of me all the time. However I loved it because I just never had to worry that something was wrong. I’m so glad everything is back to normal and those outfits for him are just so cute.

  7. Holy crap, that is scary. So glad that everything is fine!

  8. Ugh, my heart just dropped reading this Courtney! SO scary. We had one movement scare with Stella, and she was NOT much of a mover (that I could feel at any rate, thanks to an anterior placenta) so the even further decreased rate of movement scared the shit out of me. I’ll never forget laying on the couch for that hour doing kick counts and just praying and praying. 😦 So glad everything is okay with Bryson!!!

  9. I love the pictures of what you are packing, seriously, GREAT GREAT idea! I am going to look into buying a couple of those hospital gowns. I totally want to feel human this time around after I deliver and I think those are a great way to get back to feeling normal 🙂 I packed an INSANE amount for the hospital and barely used anything I packed. DH and I keep saying we need to get everything in one bag this time….we will see if it happens! SO scary, I too have had moments where I panic about lack of movement. I never counted kicks with Aiden, he was always active, but this little guy hasn’t been as much. I’m SO glad Bryson woke up and hopefully you have an uneventful rest of your pregnancy. You are right though, now is the time to start tying up loose ends, you will be holding your sweet little boy before you know it!!

  10. so scary! I’m so glad all is well. I hate the kick counting, it makes me so nervous! Now tell that lil man in there to stay active! If only they would listen to their mamas! Not much longer now!

  11. My B and I agree – this would have been a terrifying situation for you and your B! We’re so glad to hear that everything is ok. Learning some good lessons among my pregnant friends to remember in the weeks down the road…

  12. How terrifying! I’m glad everything was/is ok!

    I can’t believe you’re getting so close! Very excited for you and your family!

  13. Oh my goodness… this is so scary. I am sure it was just terrifying and horrible for you while you were trying so hard to get him to move and nothing!! 😦 Those babies.. always keeping us on our toes… and not in a good way! I am soo glad he is okay and started moving again. I guess he was just having a really deep snooze!!

    Loved seeing your packing items. I also packed a bit too much the first time around so next time I definitely plan to narrow it down to the things I found useful the first time.

  14. OH! Courtney! I was panicking as I read this. I can’t imagine how scary that would be. Raegan was an anterior placenta so I barely felt her and it was nearly impossible to feel her from the outside. This time I believe my placenta is posterior so I’m hoping to feel more movement. I “THINK” I’ve felt some already which is WAAA earlier than I felt Raegan. I too am paranoid and when I didn’t feel Raegan, I would cheat and drink some caffeine because that always got her going, but that wasn’t until after I was 34 weeks. I’m so glad Bryson is OK and he’s back to his normal rambunctious self. It really makes you wonder what’s going on in there. That was some deep sleep he was in 🙂

    As for packing, I packed a little extra but turned out to be a good thing because we ended up staying an extra day so I had clothes for that extra day 🙂 This time around, who knows what will happen.

  15. I remember one of those scares during my pregnancy and orange juice did the trick- that and an ultra sound for more reassurance! Hope he now continues to kick right on schedule and up to delivery time! Sounds like your essentials are packed and you are ready- maternity gowns are great!!! I just remember not having enough socks! Wish you all the best!

  16. So sorry im just now reading this and wasnt there for you in the midst of it!! That is very scary and i hate how it sends us in a tailspin, but of course we are going to worry. He just must have been super comfy and sleepy! He WILL be here any time!! How exciting!

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