All the Sun For You

A mom, two boys, a husband, and a whole lot of adventure!

So Lucky


I woke up this morning thinking about my grandpa, wondering when my dad would call to let me know what the status of his health was.  Dad texted me last night saying that Grandpa wasn’t doing well and that the hospice folks thought he’d die soon, but then said, “of course, my dad has 45 lives so we’ll see.”  I wrote back saying I’d come home today after baby gym in the morning, so that maybe Matthew would nap on the way back.  Dad said to hold off until he called me in the morning, and then asked about the dates for our trip to Florida.  When I told him the dates, he wrote back saying that there could be a funeral when we were gone.  That alarmed me… my dad doesn’t ever think the end is really coming.

The end came this morning.  It’s an amazing story – one that I just cannot believe happened to my grandpa.  My dad went up last night to visit him, held his hand, and then kissed him on the forehead before heading out.  My grandpa had been sort-of comatose, but woke up when my dad kissed him and smiled at him, knowing he was there.  My dad told him he loved him, and Grandpa told him he loved him too.  My dad left for the night and went home, updated all of us, and (as he told me this morning), cried off and on through the night.  This morning, on his way home from the dentist, my dad decided to stop by rather than just call for an update.  He popped in, asked the front desk how Grandpa was doing, and they pulled him aside to say that the end was very near.  They brought my dad a cup of coffee and he sat with his sleeping father, holding his hand, and he slipped away.  Just like that.  He just stopped breathing and died in his sleep.  Within 10 minutes of my dad arriving.


I wish everyone we love could go that way.

I was very close to my grandpa, and I always feared this day.  I always feared how I would handle it.

B is out-of-town, so I texted him and he called me right away.  I cried when he called, but then I felt really good about the whole thing.  My grandpa missed my grandma so much, and just wanted to be with her.  From the day she died, he’s told me that he is ready to go be with her and just wants to die in his sleep.

He is with her now, and he died in his sleep.  And better yet, he died with his son at his side.

I am at peace with it.  I am at peace knowing that he is where he wants to be, a place that he has always believed in, that he passed so peacefully, and that he’s reunited with the love of his life.

I hope we can all be so lucky one day.


Author: Courtney

Hi, there, I’m Courtney. I never planned to stay home with my kids, but I got sucked into motherhood when my first baby came into our lives after years of infertility and multiple rounds of IVF. His brother followed closely behind, something we didn’t plan on after having such a rough road with achieving parenthood the first time around. My boys are IVF cycle twins, conceived on the same day but born two years and one day apart (they were both transferred on the same day in October, but with two years between them). My boys are the best of friends and my husband is a terrific husband, father, and most importantly… friend. He fully supported my desire to stay home (“I just wanted it to be your idea and not mine, I totally want you to stay home and raise our kids!”) and encourages me in everything I do. I am a lover of projects, spreadsheets, fitness, healthy cooking and eating, crafts, selling my stuff on FB (HA!), and the outdoors. If I’m active, I’m pretty darn happy!

39 thoughts on “So Lucky

  1. I’m sorry to hear about your grandfather’s passing but I agree, it sounds like the absolute best way to go and I’m glad he’s finally at peace.

    Abiding with you.

    • Thank you, Esperanza. I just can’t get over it – I can’t believe that he was able to go the way he did. We’re all amazed by it, actually, and most importantly, my dad is feeling very good about it as well.

  2. Although you are at peace with his passing, I’m still very sorry for your loss. My condolences to your family.

  3. Beautiful. You are so right, your grandfather was lucky to go in such a peaceful way and with his son right there by his side, whom he must have been waiting for. I am so happy for him that he is now with your grandma. Still I am very sorry for your loss because I know how hard it is to lose someone you love but I am glad you are at peace with the way it happened. I do wish we could all be so lucky.

  4. Oh Courtney, I am so sorry for your loss, but definitely agree that he couldn’t have gone in a better way. I hope your dad has some peace with the situation knowing he was at his father’s side when he went. I handled my grandma’s death surprisingly better than I expected – maybe because she’s been the only one in my life who has passed away and we knew she was ready. I think that makes it easier on the family. I bet your grandma was waiting for him to give him a big ol hug! Thinking of you and your family these next few days as you lay him to rest.

    • I thought of you when this happened yesterday – and how you felt better about your grandma’s passing than you expected. I think them being ready is so important for those they leave behind. I am so glad he made it very clear to me over and over again that he was ready to go – and I believed him.

      My dad is amazingly at peace. He never expected it to be important to him to be there (he is very, VERY pragmatic about death and dying – alarmingly so), but he told me yesterday that he is so glad he was there, and that he got to be part of something so important. He needed this – and I think the fact that he was there and got what he didn’t even know he needed, is helping me cope as well. I’ve been so worried about how he’ll take it, but he’s doing really well.

      • After reading this I’m even more glad your dad was there. For me personally I didn’t/don’t want to be around someone during their final breaths (I didn’t even go back and see my mom in the hospital) but I know for others they would do anything to be there for closure and to say goodbye. I’m also glad the fact that the two of them were together is helping you cope with this. Lots of good memories to look back on for sure.

  5. I am so very sorry for your loss, but a beautiful story. A peaceful way to transition between this life and the next. I will be keeping you & your family in my thoughts and prayers during this sad time. And you’re right, he was very lucky to go just how he wanted with the added bonus of his son by his side. (((Hugs)))

  6. This is so sad, but yet so beautiful and perfect. I’m glad your grandpa was peaceful and surrounded by love when he went to join your grandma.

  7. I’m sorry for your loss Courtney. An amazing and beautiful post, wouldn’t be nice if everyone could leave this Earth in such a pleasant and calm way. And to think that your grandpa is now with his wife that he missed so much….. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  8. Wow, that is an amazing story! How lucky for everyone that your Dad was there for that and that it was such a peaceful moment. That’s the way, I think, that anyone would want to go, or want their loved ones to go. And so few people get that! It’s really a blessing.

    I’m so sorry for the loss of your grandfather but glad to know you’re finding peace and comfort in his passing.

    • Thank you, Shelley. I agree – I always say that people “just died in their sleep when we were young, but you never hear of that happening anymore.” People seem to suffer so with mental demise (happened to both of my grandmothers), cancer of some sort, etc. these days and I really feel fortunate that my grandpa got to go out the way he did. The old fashioned way!

  9. So sorry to hear about the death of your Grandpa, Courtney. But you’re so right – if it has to happen, what a perfect way to complete a journey. Hoping for lots of peace and togetherness for your family over the next few weeks and months.

    • Thank you, Em! It’s funny that you mentiong the togetherness, because I’m actually looking forward to it. When my grandma passed over a year ago, the family time was so wonderful and made me wish that we could do it more often, under happier circumstances. I’m looking forward to getting home!

  10. I am so sorry about your grandpa’s death. How wonderful that your dad could be there with him. Wishing you continued feelings of peace.

  11. Wow, you could not ask for a more perfect ending to a fulfilling life… there is no way to make death easy, but I’m glad you’re able to find some peace around this and know that he’s watching over you with his true love.

    • Thank you! I believe that they’re watching over us all, smiling down at us. I even wondered if they were laughing at me today as Matthew fought me coming home from the park 😉

  12. Amazing story and I am so, so sorry for your loss. My grandpa died much in the same way last summer, and I am so glad his end was peaceful and surrounded by loved ones. Hugs to you as you mourn this loss, friend.

  13. I’m so sorry for your family’s loss, and so glad that your dad just happened to be there. Strange, and beautiful how these things happen sometimes. Also, I’m sorry I haven’t commented on any of your posts the last few weeks… it seems my wordpress reader unfollowed you of its own accord (hurrumph). It sounds like there have been a lot of highs and lows for you lately – I hope that things get (and stay) a more peaceful, calm brand of happy in the coming days.

    • Thank you!

      Hey – no apologies! It’s funny because my wordpress reader does not update me on YOUR posts until they’re a day old. Two weeks went where I saw nothing from you, but then someone linked to you and I was so confused. I think I had to unfollow you, and then follow you again, to fix it. I don’t get it.

      Thank you for your wishes of a more peaceful brand of happy! I got a bit of it today with some hopeful news from our vet – so that was nice! 🙂

  14. So sorry for your and your family’s loss. I think you are right; there is perhaps no better way to go, which helps, but it is of course still sad to miss someone who is no longer with us. Beautiful timing, beautiful story.

  15. I’m so sorry to hear this, Courtney. I immediately pictured all the photos of him with M and smiled though. Such joy in those two! Wishing you and yours peace and comfort. Big love to you guys.

  16. Oh babes – huge hugs. I agree completely that we go being happy with the life we lived. Abiding with you xx

  17. Thinking of you. Of course.

  18. I’m sorry for your loss. This is a beautiful story and I thank you for sharing it.

  19. Crying reading this. I’m so sorry for the loss of your grandpa. I’m so glad he went peaceful, with his son at his side. ((hugs)) to you and your family.

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