When I was growing up from a very young age, my parents had some best friends who were like a second set of parents to us. Their kids were our age and we grew up with them. I think we spent almost every weekend with them, and in the summers, our two families were practically inseparable. If we weren’t with the B’s, we were counting down the days until we were. Mr. B was, and still is, an awesome guy. I love him to pieces. He’s the type of guy who makes everyone in the room feel like he’s known them forever – even if he just met them 5 minutes earlier. As I write that, I realize that my B is like Mr. B in that way. Interesting. Anyway, I clearly remember late one evening (when I was in my teens) after a long day for my dad, Mr. B was over and said, “L, tomorrow is another day.” My dad, of course, mocked him and pointed out that Mr. B was just stating the obvious. But I liked what he said. Sure, it was obvious, but it was something that we all need to remember when things suck. I held onto that thought for the rest of my life, and recounted it over and over again when things got hard. (As an adult, I looked up the origin of that saying and it’s the last line of “Gone with the Wind.” Of course my father didn’t know that because he mocks good literature.)
Today was another day.
I woke up around 3:30 needing to use the restroom. My first thought when I woke up was that I really wanted a DQ Blizzard (that’s been on my mind since starting Whole30!). The immediate next thought was, “ah.. ultrasound. Wilson, are you there?” He was 🙂 I couldn’t sleep then for another hour or so, and just tossed and turned, and thought and thought. I should have said yesterday that I’m not worried that Wilson will die. I’m worried what his first days and/or weeks could be like if this “thing” ends up being something that needs to be addressed. I worry about being able to hold him, and nurse him, and just do the things that you do with a newborn baby. I know we’re not there yet in terms of needing to plan those things out, but I can’t get them out of my head. Especially at 3:30 in the morning.
Matthew has been a GREAT sleeper these last two weeks and let me sleep until 7:15. I am so grateful! We got up and had a fun morning. We went to see my cousin (our guardian for our kids if something bad would happen to us), her two girls, and her niece (who is 5 days older than Matthew). It was a great time and Matthew had a ball! This gathering was pre-planned earlier this week, but it REALLY worked out in my favor given what’s going on (or not going on) with Wilson.
My cousin is a non-practicing doctor. She’s a smart gal. And she’s married to a radiologist. I wasn’t even fully in the house before I was talking about yesterday, the ultrasound, and Wilson. She listened and then said that I shouldn’t freak out, but that she knows it’s scary. She asked what they know so far and I basically said, “nothing.” She asked if they speculated and I told her that they really didn’t but that the word, “cyst,” came up a few times. She asked if it was fluid-filled, air-filled, and if it had any solid debris in it. What Dr. H had told me was that it was fluid or air-filled, and that there was no visible debris at all (which is good). All of this made my cousin relax a bit. That, then, helped me relax. She asked if a radiologist had read the scans and I said I didn’t think so, but was wondering if her husband could. He can, but she says it’s better for him to be in the room, reading it as it’s happening. She asked where I was going for the next scan and she was happy with the doctor I’ll be seeing. She said that after that scan, that her husband could read the scans if I wanted. And that if I want him to do a scan, to just ask.
So that was great. I feel better. I knew she would make me feel better. She always makes me feel better.
We met B for a quick Valentine’s Day lunch between his meetings. Matthew had a complete and total meltdown at the table, resulting in me saying, “box it up, we’re leaving.” He is having a hard time making it to his normal nap time (12:45) these days. He gets so tired. He is sleeping better in the morning, but needing an earlier nap. Go figure! Anyway, it was nice to see B for lunch because he’s out-of-town again tonight, but back tomorrow. Being perfectly honest,Valentine’s Day is a stupid holiday to me, so him being out-of-town is really not a big deal. I just don’t like this holiday, but in the past, I’ve insisted that we at least exchange cards. I was supposed to get B’s card yesterday. That didn’t happen for obvious reasons. He didn’t have a card for me either. Win-win for everyone! BUT – the nicest flowers were delivered today and that was really sweet of B! It made my day better! (And if you’re wondering, I do have something super special ordered for B for Valentine’s Day, but it’s not ready yet.)
Our day went on as normal. Sure, I’m a little down, but Matthew keeps me on my toes and HAPPY. Man alive, he keeps me happy!
I had a text exchange with my cousin late tonight. She told her husband about Wilson’s “thing” and he has never heard or seen anything like what I’m describing. So that makes me a bit nervous, but on the flip-side, it makes me a bit upbeat because if it was something awful, surely it’s been seen before. Right? I’m choosing to believe that this is a good thing.
And tomorrow is another day, yet again.