The ALI community sure has been busy this week taking part in the “To Mom or Not to Mom” Open Salon hosted by Keiko and Pamela. I am not one who really enjoys “assigned theme” posts because they feel too much like school to me (HA!) and I’m a terrible procrastinator (and a week to get my assignment done usually is not enough time). Hell, I buy the PAIL book club book every month and have yet to read one and take part in the discussion.
The question posed is do we pass or not when it comes to sharing our infertility story?
I have chosen “not to pass” since we first started trying to have a baby. I am an open book – I put almost everything on my blog because I have no filter and I’m just an over-sharer in general. I love to share – there – I said it!
But that is me. That is not you. Nor do I feel that it should be you.
“Should infertility disclosure be an obligation for members of this community?” No – absolutely not – but I feel that it is MY obligation. I feel that it is MY obligation to share our story with someone who I think may be struggling in an attempt to make them feel not so alone. I was lucky – I had close friends who both had struggled, or were struggling at the same time as us, with infertility. The three of us were, and still are, thick as thieves. We always will be. Those two ladies were my lifeline – they kept me sane. They kept me from taking B’s head off every.single.day because they were my outlet for sharing my frustrations, jealousy, and anxiety about our infertility.
Some people don’t have offline friends who have been through infertility – or at least – they don’t know they do. And that’s because some people decide to “take the pass” (which is fine). For those people – the ones who feel alone and isolated – I will always share our story. I will share our story if I know or think that you’re infertile or not – because if there’s any chance that you are (or that someone you know is) – I don’t want you (or them) to feel alone. If knowing that I’ve been through it too will bring some peace to just one person’s mind – then it’s all worth it to me.
No one should suffer alone. As long as I know you (or ran into you at the vet) – you won’t.