All the Sun For You

A mom, two boys, a husband, and a whole lot of adventure!

Nightmares Are Made of This Stuff


I had a rough morning.  A really, REALLY rough morning.  Here is why:

I let Matthew have a lot of freedom and when I’m brushing my teeth in the morning, I let him cruise around the bathroom.  I watch him constantly, but he has full access to the joint because we haven’t baby-proofed it yet.  I have setup one specific drawer for him to get into, but all the ones he can reach have been cleared out of anything dangerous.  Today, he was standing up, digging through one of my drawers (the one with the maxi pads – he loves that drawer!) and he stood unsupported as he clapped his hands.  Fine.  No biggie.  Then… then… he started to dance and threw his head back – and I watched in horror as he fell flat back into the wall behind him, smacking the back of his head on the wall and crashing flat-backed on the floor.  Holy hell.  I will probably have nightmares about this moment for the rest of my freaking life!

I am not an alarmist – when Matthew falls, I usually pause and wait to see how he reacts and then try to calm him if he’s upset.  Not this time.  Oh no!  I gasped, and swore as I dashed to him (I was only 2 feet away but it felt like 100 yards), and I started to cry as I picked him up.  He was a wreck – wailing – HYSTERICAL.  I was in a panic and thought that this is exactly the type of freak accident that can really harm (or kill) a baby.  I kissed him and immediately went to nurse him – knowing full well that if that didn’t calm him down, that I’d be calling B up from his office in the basement and we’d be going to the ER.  I NEVER think this way.  I NEVER make a big deal out of injuries of any sort – or injuries to anybody.  This was different – I knew that this could very easily be a big deal.

But it wasn’t.  He calmed down and bounced back quickly (not as quickly as normal though).  I did not.  B came up later and asked how the morning was (he hadn’t heard a thing down in his office) and I just started to cry and could hardly form the words to tell him about it.

Oh yes – this one will stick with me FOREVER.  Watching it happen (it felt like slow-motion) was horrifying.  I am so grateful that he is OK.

You can be sure that I did not let this poor child sleep for quite a while after it happened.  By the time I would let him nap, he was over-tired and needed lots of help falling asleep.  I was very happy to oblige him!  When he woke up, I took him to his favorite place (Chip.otle) for guacamole!

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Author: Courtney

Hi, there, I’m Courtney. I never planned to stay home with my kids, but I got sucked into motherhood when my first baby came into our lives after years of infertility and multiple rounds of IVF. His brother followed closely behind, something we didn’t plan on after having such a rough road with achieving parenthood the first time around. My boys are IVF cycle twins, conceived on the same day but born two years and one day apart (they were both transferred on the same day in October, but with two years between them). My boys are the best of friends and my husband is a terrific husband, father, and most importantly… friend. He fully supported my desire to stay home (“I just wanted it to be your idea and not mine, I totally want you to stay home and raise our kids!”) and encourages me in everything I do. I am a lover of projects, spreadsheets, fitness, healthy cooking and eating, crafts, selling my stuff on FB (HA!), and the outdoors. If I’m active, I’m pretty darn happy!

10 thoughts on “Nightmares Are Made of This Stuff

  1. Oh my goodness, I’m so glad he is okay! What a scare! I can just imagine how you felt. I always try to remember that when these things happen (Mira fell backwards in her crib–which I’ve finally lowered–the other day, smacking her head on the railings) that babies were designed for it to some extent, but that doesn’t take away the heart-stopping worry, especially on a tile floor.

  2. I am so glad he is ok. That is so scary.

    I had that with the changing table and it was so awful. I was so upset and guilt ridden I felt like I was going to get sick. Good for you for handling it on your own, I ran to my husband!!!!

    Not that I want her to get hurt or I don’t worry about her feelings, but kids fall and it is what it is and we move one. But when it happens on your watch and you feel like you could have prevented it, it’s just the worst.

    • I share your sentiment – kids fall and get hurt. My DH does not understand that sentiment. He just headed off to the bathroom to shower and asked if I could focus my attention on Matthew. Um… yeah. I’m always focused on him. I just don’t need to be HOVERING over him to do that. HA! (I write this as Matthew plays in the tupperware cupboard – happy as a clam to be left alone to explore!)

  3. It sounds like you do really well in these cases, and for you to have gotten so upset, it must have been awful to see — but like you said, he’s just fine and I’m SO glad for that!! Accidents can happen when you think you’ve taken all the necessary precautions to avoid them. Sure doesn’t make them any easier, but just a fact of having a baby/toddler in the house I guess. Guac would make me feel better any day too by the way. 🙂

    • I come from a long line of people who over-react to small things (myself included), but who stay cool as cucumbers when big things happen. We handle trauma very well – very methodical and thoughtful. But something minor – like some stupid little comment someone makes about something like your mood or tone – and we can’t handle it thoughtfully. HA!

  4. Omg! His poor head! Your poor nerves! Glad the little dude is okay – guacamole is such a good cure-all!

    I always LOVE front yard slideshows. 🙂

  5. Ugh, i dread the day Stella has her first serious fall. EEK!

  6. Um. Sofi has had a couple of these falls, all from a sitting position, but it’s true. She’s fallen straight back on her head both in our living room (hard wood floors) and in the bathtub. It freaks me out every time (it’s horrible that I even have to save EVERY time) but she has always bounced right back. I try and keep an eye on her but she is such a mover and shaker that it’s impossible. Sigh.

    Sounds like a bad scare, but a good excuse for guacamole! 😉

    • Oh the bathtub falls. AWFUL! And how to you explain that one to the DH? I mean – that’s when there is no reason for them to not be watched fully and completely 😉 How do they bonk their heads when we’re right there? But the DO!

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