All the Sun For You

A mom, two boys, a husband, and a whole lot of adventure!

CIO Update – 3 Nights Down!

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I’m still tired  😉  I spend an hour up every night listening to Matthew fuss his way back to sleep.  It’s no longer a scream, so that’s good, but oh my – THIS IS HARD!  Tonight will be night #4.  I hope this is the lucky night that he puts himself back to sleep, and then I get to sleep too!  The only good thing about all of this is that I’ve been using that hour each night (starting somewhere between 1:00 and 2:00) to read the PAIL book club selection, “Bringing Up Bebe.”  What a fitting book to read as you’re trying to correct your baby’s sleep patterns!

In case you glossed over it – yes – I am still staying up as Matthew cries it out.  I just can’t go back to bed as he cries miserably in his room.  I like to stay close so that I can run in if things get out of control.  And I feel like it’s my duty to suffer with him since I’m the one doing this to him.  AND – he gets so worked up and finally falls asleep without any blankets on him, and that just seems wrong to me.  So I sit in my chair just outside his room, reading my book, as he drifts off to sleep.  I keep reading until he’s been asleep for 5 minutes and then I run in to cover him up and make him cozy.

I was worried yesterday when it came to nap time.  I nurse him to sleep and I really don’t want that to change, knowing that I only have 3 more months of nursing left.  When I tried to nurse him to sleep yesterday for his two naps, he refused to transfer to his crib.  I worried that he was having anxiety about having to sleep alone – but today – he transferred just fine!  I am so relieved!  He also wouldn’t nurse to sleep at bed time last night, but that was because he ate his dinner too late and had no interest in eating more.  Tonight, he nursed to sleep on cue and made me very, very happy!

The cutest thing did happen the second night that I want to document.  I worry so much because he kneels up on his knees against the crib rail and cries for me, and I worry that he may fall asleep and fall down.  It drives me crazy with worry.  That first night, I kept checking the video monitor and yes, he was still crying up against the rail.  About 5 minutes later, I realized it was silent, so I checked the monitor again.  He was still up on the rail, so I assumed maybe he was just resting.  I finally went in a few minutes later and can you believe it?  He was ASLEEP on his knees, leaning up on the rail.  It broke and melted my heart at the same time.  I laid him down, tucked him in, and went to bed.

This baby warms my heart even when we’re struggling through such a rough time.  I just love him so much!

Nothing else is new, really.  I’m just still really tired!  What mother isn’t though, right??

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Author: Courtney

Hi, there, I’m Courtney. I never planned to stay home with my kids, but I got sucked into motherhood when my first baby came into our lives after years of infertility and multiple rounds of IVF. His brother followed closely behind, something we didn’t plan on after having such a rough road with achieving parenthood the first time around. My boys are IVF cycle twins, conceived on the same day but born two years and one day apart (they were both transferred on the same day in October, but with two years between them). My boys are the best of friends and my husband is a terrific husband, father, and most importantly… friend. He fully supported my desire to stay home (“I just wanted it to be your idea and not mine, I totally want you to stay home and raise our kids!”) and encourages me in everything I do. I am a lover of projects, spreadsheets, fitness, healthy cooking and eating, crafts, selling my stuff on FB (HA!), and the outdoors. If I’m active, I’m pretty darn happy!

2 thoughts on “CIO Update – 3 Nights Down!

  1. Aww, poor little guy was so exhausted he fell asleep on his knees. 😦 Don’t these little guys know if they just wouldn’t fight it, they could get some good sleep from the start? If only it were that easy. I hope it continues to go well for you and everyone starts to get more sleep!

  2. Okay! Ready for the longest comment ever?!? Been working on it since your LAST post I promised to comment on! Actually, you have inspired me to write my own post (maybe the April PAIL theme? I’ll write one anyway) on sleep stuff to document what worked for us. Coming soon!

    ANYWAY. Like I said, we did CIO too, with a lot of tweaks. I knew I wanted to sleep train when HGB started sleeping in his crib, but didn’t want to just put him down and let him straight up CIO, which I don’t think is useful and can be damaging. Before we did the sleep training, I read the pertinent parts of Ferber’s “Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems”. What I liked and didn’t like is a whole post on it’s own, BUT the parts on sleep associations and the waiting schedule (p. 74) were the most useful for us. On the whole, I recommend the book.

    From some of your previous posts, it sounds like you guys have a bedtime routine down pat. The bedtime routine is important as it signals that bedtime is coming up. Since the goal of sleep training is to teach M to go to sleep on his own, you may have to tweak the parts where *you* are *helping* put him to sleep. Again, I recommend reading up and then doing a careful evaluation of what goes on at M’s bedtime. (Warning! Sleep training requires a lot of tough work from Mum and Dad beyond staying strong during crying! You can do it!) We have one routine for bedtime and one for nap time. We did the p.74 schedule at night to the tee, and it took about 4 nights. We halved and extended the schedule to a 2 week program for naps as they were tougher. I followed his sleep cues to determine when nap times would be, and then implemented the schedule. Morning naps just magically happened on their own, but afternoon naps were TOUGH. I remember having to re-start the schedule a few times. The key thing about naps is that after 30 minutes, if they aren’t asleep yet, nap time is over. Try again next time. BUT, if they fall asleep on their own (i.e. on the play mat) let them sleep because they put *themselves* to sleep. But yeah – the book explains it a lot better than I am, and while reading I used the things I liked and were consistent with my parenting values and eliminated what I didn’t like or find useful. It’s a guide, basically.

    It worked for HGB, and he’s been sleeping just fine for months. I also think we just hit a sweet spot where he was emotionally and developmentally ready, and BJB and I were ready to do it. It took me a LONG time to come to terms with him not sleeping in our room anymore and not nursing him down, but these were my issues. I found other ways to incorporate these feelings into a loving bedtime routine to make the transition. I still nurse him before bed and naps, but not too sleep, for example.

    Okay… falling asleep on his knees? Adorable! But I hear you on being afraid he will fall over! My Mum tells me I was a climbing ninja as soon as I could stand in the crib. Here is what I am doing to combat this! HGB sleeps in a sleep sack (like a GroBag). It’s like a combo of a tank top and a sleeping bag, sort of a wearable blanket. He knows when he is being zipped in that bedtime is near. It keeps him warm without needing a blanket AND he can’t climb in it. He can still wriggle around, roll over, etc. but he doesn’t *quite* have the range of motion to get a leg up. It also means he can’t kick his blankets off. I LOVE it. He is just about to grow out of it so this reminds me to order a bigger one.

    So yeah, if this is a route you are interested in, it will take some time to research and devise a plan that suits M, that you and B are comfortable with and can support each other on. In the meantime, to help him sleep, you know my parenting philosophy: Just do whatever you gotta do, man. And stop “should-ing” all over yourself! You are a great Mum!

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