Matthew has had a very productive week, and I’ve been too exhausted to blog about it.  Instead, I take photos of his accomplishments so that I have a record of the dates.   That’s just terrible.  Later this week, I’ll properly document his milestones and even list all the stuff he did before I started blogging so that it’s all in one place.  Right now, all of that info is on a slip of paper in a drawer in the kitchen – it could easily be discarded by someone not knowing what that list really is.  It is rather cryptic.

Why am I exhausted?  I’m not sleeping.  No one is in this house.  Matthew has reverted back to multiple wakings each night and after one night last week in which he refused to relax with B (all he wanted was me), we decided that it is our job to help this child learn to sleep!  He sleeps alone in his crib for every nap and at bed time, but he is nursed and rocked to sleep each. and. every. time.  This is my fault.  I take FULL responsibility for it.  I remember the moment I realized that if I nursed him to sleep, that he took longer naps.  Since that moment, that’s what I’ve done.  Again – totally my fault.  My fault = my job to fix it.

We did the CIO method last night.  I went in after he’d slept for only 4 hours, patted him, hugged him, etc.  Nada. So I changed him.  No luck.  Then I gave him ibuprofen (teething?).  No luck again.  So with tears in my eyes, I said, “I’ve done all I can for you but nurse you.  you’re on your own, Buddy.”  I walked out of the room, turned on the video monitor, curled up outside his door with a book (“Bringing up BeBe”), and cried a little.  He fell asleep 10 minutes or so later.  I stayed up though because he kept stirring and then fussing.  I believe that it is my job to suffer with him.  If he’s fussing, I’m up making sure he gets a blanket once he’s settled down, that he’s not wedged up against the crib rails, etc.  The whole ordeal took an hour.  Sweet J*s*s!  It wasn’t an hour of crying by any means, but with the ups and downs, it took an hour.

Today, I read about the Sleep Lady.  I decided that if the next two nights don’t go better, that I would try that method out.  I would hate to waste the night we did last night and change up my approach on him once again.  Well, Matthew is calling the shots here (which is really fine with me) and encouraged me to try it tonight at bed time.  IT WORKED.  He stopped nursing early, fussed until I stood up to rock him, laid his little head on my shoulder and gazed into my eyes until he was properly drowsy (but not asleep), and let me put him down.  I patted him a couple times, stood by his crib and did a few comforting “shh shh, mom’s here,” and he settled off into sleep.   I left his room 5 minutes later.  He’s been down for almost 3 hours.  Now – he’s ALWAYS down for at least 3 hours so I’m not saying that we’re over any humps by any means, but he PUT HIMSELF TO SLEEP!  This is HUGE!  B promptly reminded me that he was totally exhausted from his big day and had no afternoon nap and maybe that’s why he put himself to sleep – but I. Do. Not. Care.  He’s been exhausted in the past and didn’t put himself to sleep.

Maybe all this time he’s just wanted me to let him try on his own?  Who knows.  I did walk out of his room sad though, and there were tears as I told B about it.  Yes, this is the goal.  Yes, this is a good thing.  But he didn’t need me tonight – and that made me a little sad.

In other news, I strapped Matthew to me and mowed my entire lawn today with him.  HA!  He loved it – and fell asleep while I was mowing.  I about died when I looked under his little sun hat and saw his sweet face sound asleep.  This kid has NO problems sleeping – he just likes falling asleep with his mama!  He doesn’t stay asleep (which is the problem) and woke up the minute I got into the house.  He refused to go back to sleep even with me nursing him, but he was exhausted – so I left him in his crib playing while I showered.  That turned into a screaming fest so I went in and swooped him up, nursed him to sleep, and he slept over 2 hours then in his crib.  That was when I read about the Sleep Lady and decided to try her method in a couple days.  Thank g*d for smart phones – mine saves me every time I nurse him to sleep!

My sister had her baby today.  I missed the big event.  Shoot!  She’s a very pretty baby and I’m looking forward to meeting her later this month, hopefully!

Matthew learned to climb stairs and walk with a push walker while at his cousins’ house.  Oh boy – here we go!  I do have photos to post, but I haven’t transferred them yet to my computer… because… I’m so exhausted!