All the Sun For You

A mom, two boys, a husband, and a whole lot of adventure!



Matthew has had a very productive week, and I’ve been too exhausted to blog about it.  Instead, I take photos of his accomplishments so that I have a record of the dates.   That’s just terrible.  Later this week, I’ll properly document his milestones and even list all the stuff he did before I started blogging so that it’s all in one place.  Right now, all of that info is on a slip of paper in a drawer in the kitchen – it could easily be discarded by someone not knowing what that list really is.  It is rather cryptic.

Why am I exhausted?  I’m not sleeping.  No one is in this house.  Matthew has reverted back to multiple wakings each night and after one night last week in which he refused to relax with B (all he wanted was me), we decided that it is our job to help this child learn to sleep!  He sleeps alone in his crib for every nap and at bed time, but he is nursed and rocked to sleep each. and. every. time.  This is my fault.  I take FULL responsibility for it.  I remember the moment I realized that if I nursed him to sleep, that he took longer naps.  Since that moment, that’s what I’ve done.  Again – totally my fault.  My fault = my job to fix it.

We did the CIO method last night.  I went in after he’d slept for only 4 hours, patted him, hugged him, etc.  Nada. So I changed him.  No luck.  Then I gave him ibuprofen (teething?).  No luck again.  So with tears in my eyes, I said, “I’ve done all I can for you but nurse you.  you’re on your own, Buddy.”  I walked out of the room, turned on the video monitor, curled up outside his door with a book (“Bringing up BeBe”), and cried a little.  He fell asleep 10 minutes or so later.  I stayed up though because he kept stirring and then fussing.  I believe that it is my job to suffer with him.  If he’s fussing, I’m up making sure he gets a blanket once he’s settled down, that he’s not wedged up against the crib rails, etc.  The whole ordeal took an hour.  Sweet J*s*s!  It wasn’t an hour of crying by any means, but with the ups and downs, it took an hour.

Today, I read about the Sleep Lady.  I decided that if the next two nights don’t go better, that I would try that method out.  I would hate to waste the night we did last night and change up my approach on him once again.  Well, Matthew is calling the shots here (which is really fine with me) and encouraged me to try it tonight at bed time.  IT WORKED.  He stopped nursing early, fussed until I stood up to rock him, laid his little head on my shoulder and gazed into my eyes until he was properly drowsy (but not asleep), and let me put him down.  I patted him a couple times, stood by his crib and did a few comforting “shh shh, mom’s here,” and he settled off into sleep.   I left his room 5 minutes later.  He’s been down for almost 3 hours.  Now – he’s ALWAYS down for at least 3 hours so I’m not saying that we’re over any humps by any means, but he PUT HIMSELF TO SLEEP!  This is HUGE!  B promptly reminded me that he was totally exhausted from his big day and had no afternoon nap and maybe that’s why he put himself to sleep – but I. Do. Not. Care.  He’s been exhausted in the past and didn’t put himself to sleep.

Maybe all this time he’s just wanted me to let him try on his own?  Who knows.  I did walk out of his room sad though, and there were tears as I told B about it.  Yes, this is the goal.  Yes, this is a good thing.  But he didn’t need me tonight – and that made me a little sad.

In other news, I strapped Matthew to me and mowed my entire lawn today with him.  HA!  He loved it – and fell asleep while I was mowing.  I about died when I looked under his little sun hat and saw his sweet face sound asleep.  This kid has NO problems sleeping – he just likes falling asleep with his mama!  He doesn’t stay asleep (which is the problem) and woke up the minute I got into the house.  He refused to go back to sleep even with me nursing him, but he was exhausted – so I left him in his crib playing while I showered.  That turned into a screaming fest so I went in and swooped him up, nursed him to sleep, and he slept over 2 hours then in his crib.  That was when I read about the Sleep Lady and decided to try her method in a couple days.  Thank g*d for smart phones – mine saves me every time I nurse him to sleep!

My sister had her baby today.  I missed the big event.  Shoot!  She’s a very pretty baby and I’m looking forward to meeting her later this month, hopefully!

Matthew learned to climb stairs and walk with a push walker while at his cousins’ house.  Oh boy – here we go!  I do have photos to post, but I haven’t transferred them yet to my computer… because… I’m so exhausted!

Author: Courtney

Hi, there, I’m Courtney. I never planned to stay home with my kids, but I got sucked into motherhood when my first baby came into our lives after years of infertility and multiple rounds of IVF. His brother followed closely behind, something we didn’t plan on after having such a rough road with achieving parenthood the first time around. My boys are IVF cycle twins, conceived on the same day but born two years and one day apart (they were both transferred on the same day in October, but with two years between them). My boys are the best of friends and my husband is a terrific husband, father, and most importantly… friend. He fully supported my desire to stay home (“I just wanted it to be your idea and not mine, I totally want you to stay home and raise our kids!”) and encourages me in everything I do. I am a lover of projects, spreadsheets, fitness, healthy cooking and eating, crafts, selling my stuff on FB (HA!), and the outdoors. If I’m active, I’m pretty darn happy!

5 thoughts on “YAWN

  1. The sleeping situation sounds rough, but hopefully you are turning a corner and figuring out what works for both you and him. That’s all you can do, right? Trial and error. Dang, I’m sorry you missed the big event!! We really are in a world of babies calling all the shots aren’t we? 🙂

  2. Oh, this reminds me so much of me and Mira, only you’re so much better than me. I know I’m building bad habits by nursing her to sleep (and I’m even worse–we co-sleep!), but I love so much to cuddle her that every time I think of trying to teach her to sleep in her crib I just can’t do it. So proud of you for teaching M to fall asleep on his own!

    • No one is better than anyone else at this stuff – we’re all just doing the best we can! I sincerely believe that. Co-sleeping works for a lot of people and I bet you I’d be doing it if Matthew would have let me. He does not sleep well with us at all – never has. I was dead set against co-sleeping prior to having him but once he got here, I wanted to snuggle in bed. He wouldn’t have it. If he had let me do it, I bet you he’d still be in bed with us 😉

  3. I so hope that Matthew is onto something and begins to give you some respite. Good for you for following his cues. I have to believe that’s the most important thing. These babies are PEOPLE and should have a say in how these things go down! Just like you said above that you couldn’t cosleep because Matthew would have nothing to do with it, it sounds like your little guy is ready to go in the bed drowsy but awake!

    Sorry you didn’t make it to your sister’s delivery but a new niece/nephew is a wonderful thing. Congrats!!

  4. Pingback: More Thoughts on Sleep « No Baby Ruth: Playing Baseball Without a Bat

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