All the Sun For You

A mom, two boys, a husband, and a whole lot of adventure!


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Happy

A while back, B and I had a pretty tough conversation about the things I’m not doing as a SAHM that he sort-of expected when we decided to have me stay home.  And to be fair, I did agree to the things he expected – I just never acted on some of them.  The main thing I didn’t do, which he’d like me to do, is cook or at least prepare meals.

B likes REAL meals – not sandwiches or pizza or taco night, but real meals made from real, unprocessed food.  I like those types of meals too (I grew up on mostly real food), but I also love things like pizza, taco night, baked potatoes with good toppings. etc.  I’m perfectly happy with a grilled chicken breast and steamed veggies, but that does get boring.  Because B likes a nice pan sauce, or more-involved meals – I just decided I wasn’t going to cook for the family.  If he wanted those things, then he could make them because I surely didn’t have the time to do it with two kids yanking on my ankles.  So B would come home, prep and cook dinner, and be stressed out.  His stress would cause me stress, and the nights just didn’t end well.

No one was happy.

When I decided to do my 10-week fitness course, I knew we’d need to eat more at home to keep things healthy.  B still did the cooking, but I did a better job of having things ready and planned out.  When I decided to switch to a Paleo diet for the second 5 weeks of the fitness course, I told B that I would take responsibility for all dinners as long as we had good, easy recipes.  He ponied up the recipe book and I got to work planning.  B said he’d be happy to cook if I wanted to just get everything prepared, but I really wanted to put forth the effort.

We are 2.5 weeks into the Paleo diet and I have done 90% of the cooking, and 100% of the preparation, so far.  I’ve come to find that I LIKE doing it – it relaxes me.  Cooking has ALWAYS relaxed me, and preparing food is on a whole other level of relaxation for me – I just don’t like doing it with kids around.  I’ve gotten to the point now, though, where I can prep quite a bit when the kids are playing, and then put the finishing touches on things while they nap so that things are 100% ready to go when it’s show time.

I have my nights off this week from mom-duty because my happier husband signed me up for a sailing class with a friend, and he said he’d do everything each night so that I didn’t have to worry about anything.  However, I’m still prepping meals for him so that all he has to do is turn on the oven or burners and cook it up.  Every day, he says he can do it (and I know he can) but I really WANT to do it.

And that’s what this post is about – I WANT to do something to make B’s life easier.  I know he’s much happier this way – you can see and hear it in his eyes, his posture, his words, etc.  I want him to come home and not have to worry about whether or not dinner is planned – and stress about the possibility that it’s going to be up to him to either get dinner on the table or make the call to go out to eat.  I want all of us to know what’s coming up in the days ahead so that we can be prepared and looking forward to experiencing new recipes (and good old ones!) and time together without the resentment of who did what and when.  And the bottom line is this – preparing and cooking the meals is truly making me happy!  I spend 20 minutes each Sunday going through our cookbook, selecting recipes for the week, and then go to the store to get all of the ingredients so that we are 100% prepared.  I LOVE that part of my Sunday – it excites me!  Everyone talks about meal-planning and how easy it makes things, and I’ve always just nodded along and thought, “yeah, whatever.”  The truth is – it IS easy and such a great use of time!

This is going to sound very 1950’s, but I have felt more confident as a SAHM these last 2.5 weeks than I’ve felt in a long time.  Between the working out and taking care of my family (in the way of meals), I feel like my life is a little more directed and stable than it was before.  Because I need to plan and prep meals now, my day has more structure to it as I challenge myself to get everything (including working out) done in a timely manner so that I can have some down time to do whatever I want to do.  I’m getting up early each day to get to my fitness class, I’m getting Matthew to his summer camp before the last-minute, I’m getting Bryson and myself either to the Y or out for long walks to add onto our “active time,” and I’m getting dinner ready long before it’s time to have it on the table.  Things have fallen into place.

Having spent 2.5 weeks this way, I’m truly wondering what I did with my time before this.  I was definitely slacking off, even if I refused to believe it.

And I wasn’t super happy.  Right now, I’m feeling pretty happy!

 

 


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Oh The Gear!

I’ve been trying out classes at our local YM.C.A and I really like them!  Sure, they’re not kickboxing (which I truly, truly love) but they are pretty good and the calorie burn is seeming to be the same or similar.  There is an intense endurance class that is truly the hardest fitness class I’ve EVER done, so that’s super exciting!  I can make that on Thursdays and Saturdays, and then a TurboKi.ck class on Tuesdays.  I like doubling up workouts on strength days, so this schedule works out great!

What this all means is that it was time for some new fitness gear (enter eye-roll)!  I am a fitness gear junkie and always like to have the right stuff to make my workouts as comfortable as possible.  I think a change-up in fitness routines makes B a little nervous just because he knows that there’s money that’s going to be spent.  I don’t like spending the money either, but there are some things that I just NEED to get things done right (“right” as I define it – please don’t lecture me on needs and wants!).

The first thing on my list was new shoes for the studio fitness classes.  I do kickboxing in socks and am used to doing my kicks and turns with complete freedom to move and move well.  Kicking with running shoes on felt wrong, and they were way too sticky for the spins and quick slides.  The bonus to this is that any shoe I got for studio classes would work for kickboxing as well, which I have been thinking about because sometimes the socks are too slick (especially on the new mats).  I researched shoes until the wee hours of many mornings and settled on Ryk.as, Asic.s, or the Nik.e Stud.io Train.er.  I have super long and narrow feet, so I knew I couldn’t just order shoes online.  I went to a great fitness store here in town and tried on what they had in my size – Ryk.as and the Stu.dio T.rainer.  The Ryk.as, as I suspected they would be, were too short but awesome looking.  The Ni.kes were prefect but ugly.  I got the Nik.es and tried them out a few days later in kickboxing and Turbo, and they were perfect!

I’ve wanted an activity monitor for a long time, and was all set to get the Fitb.it For.ce – but it was recalled before I got it ordered.  I’d also read some rather dismal reviews on it, so I was actually glad I didn’t get it before the recall.  That left me wondering what would do the job for me and some girls in my HEAT class (High Energy Aerobic Training) had heart rate monitors going.  That made sense to me but they weren’t tracking their daily activity – just fitness activity.  I could use my Garm.in Fore.run.ner 40.5 for what they were doing, but that left the same problem – no daily activity monitoring.  After doing heaps of research, I settled on the Garmi.in Vivof.it and I LOVE it.  I mean, I am IN LOVE WITH IT!  It hooks up to my Garm.in heart rate monitor (if I could find the damned thing – I saw it just 4-5 weeks ago but now it’s gone) so it gets TRUE calories burned if I so choose to track that.  The other activity monitors I was looking at don’t hook up to heart rate monitors, so they were immediately stricken from the list (again, thank God I didn’t get that Fitb.it!).  The coolest feature is that it hounds you if you haven’t moved in an hour by placing a red bar on the display that gets longer as you sit longer.  I’ve never had as many ants in my pants as I did today when that bar was on (after sleeping in all morning) and the kids were down for their naps!  I got out and walked the entire neighborhood (2.3 miles) and that little device was only 0.06 miles off from what my GPS app said the distance was.  AWESOME!  I’ve since measured my stride and entered that into the device so that should be more accurate next time.  Another cool thing it does is auto-set my step goal for me, so as I get more and more active, the goal gets more and more intense.  Yesterday, I took over 14,000 steps doing my normal daily stuff.  Today, I took over 12,500 steps after sleeping the morning away and then going for a walk to make up for it.  What will tomorrow bring?

Back to shoes.  My new studio shoes weren’t going to work for my HEAT class, so I needed new cross-trainers.  I’ve never bought cross-trainers before, just running shoes, so I had no idea what to get.  I don’t get the luxury of going for cute with a size 12 narrow foot (for athletic shoes – in real life I’m an 11 narrow).  I was going for functionality and a sticky sole.  Asic.s running shoes have always been my go-to because of their standard width and breadth of length options, so I went there straight-away.  I found the Women’s Asic.s Gel-For.tius™ TR and they are awesome!  The soles are ridiculously sticky but with a pivot point for quick turns (during drills) and they look BAD-ASS!  Best feature besides their fit and functionality is that the footbed says, “Be Better Than Yesterday.”  AWESOME!

The final new pieces of gear are my new headbands.  Stupid sounding, I know, but what’s even more ridiculous are the old-school sweatbands I’ve worn for years.  I always see these gals wearing cloth bands on their heads during kickboxing or other fitness classes and I’ve always wondered what in the world they’re thinking – those can’t catch sweat (and I’m a serious sweater!).  Well, it was lost on me that they were wearing wicking headbands that I had not yet been introduced to.  Matthew picked out my first one (Junk brand) and I also got a Bon.diBan.d.  I really like the Junk one so bought two more of those – I’m armed with 4 functional sweatbands that won’t make me look like a washed up tennis player.

The last thing I need is that pesky heart rate monitor.  I haven’t bought it yet because I know the minute I do and use it once, I’ll find the old one that’s just as compatible as the new one.  This is killing me because it’s nowhere to be found, and I don’t lose ANYTHING.  I’m spending my free time this week cleaning out the room that may have it lost within it.  If it’s not there, I’m ordering that bad boy by Friday!

 


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Paleo Week 2 – Flying Solo

(Written Saturday night before the week started:  B will be out of town ALL week.  What this means is that I’ll be eating a lot of Paleo take-out.  I already have some ideas, but I won’t be cooking big meals from the cookbook – the recipes are just too big to try to cut down for one person.  I’m anticipating a lot of cold cuts, yogurt (full-fat, making it more Paleo-friendly), and Chipotle/Pancheros burrito bowls.)

Turns out, I missed cooking, so after dropping B off at the airport, we headed straight to the store to prep for the week!  Paleo Week 2, here I come!

Sunday, 07/27/2014  *** Take-out BBQ without the BBQ Sauce ***

Our friends invited us over for “make your own pizza night,” so I grabbed smoked meat and green beans from my favorite BBQ place and headed over.  I ate my meal as planned, as did Bryson.  Matthew ended up making a pizza… and loving it.  I sampled a small bit of his and it was good.  They had homemade ice cream for dessert so I went for it – a small dish.  Good, but not worth the calories or deviation from our plan.

Monday, 07/28/2014  *** Roughing It ***

My very helpful neighbor watched the kids so I could hit a 4:30 kickboxing class.  When I returned to get them, she was feeding them dinner (she’s like that – just takes over which is so helpful!) and I was out of luck.  I was going to make the Greek Chicken from week 1, but it would have to wait until Tuesday.  So, I picked through the fridge, found some turkey, milk, and a cheese stick.  Awesome.

Tuesday, 07/29/2014  *** Greek Chicken (Again) ***

Because Matthew had speech downtown at 5:30, I decided to make the whole Greek chicken for lunch and then just eat the leftovers for dinner after speech.  This plan did not work out – the boys at 3/4 of the 4 pound chicken and left me just one breast.  Bryson ate all but6 spears of my roasted asparagus.  It was a light lunch (HA!).  With my leftovers plan thwarted, I was left to figure it out on the way home from speech.  We went to Chipotle.  The kids were both being so difficult, that I took the hit and got tacos (soft corn) so I could eat with my hands and not have to worry about forking up my own food while trying to feed and contain both kids.  It was good (no GREAT)!

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Wednesday, 07/30/2014  *** Ground Pork and Apple Sliders (Again) ***

When you’ve got an easy, outstanding recipe at your disposal, why not take advantage of it?  I made these awesome sliders again tonight, served with green beans (none of us ate them, they were so tough and awful) and bib lettuce.  They were GREAT!  I just love this recipe!  I had 3 of them equaling 6 ounces of meat.  The boys split one, leaving 2 for tomorrow’s lunch!

Thursday, 07/31/2014  *** Leftover Ground Pork and Apple Sliders ***

This was just as good reheated as it was fresh.  I swear, I could eat this recipe every single day!  I had 2 patties left (each with 2.67 ounces of meat) and reheated them together for 2 minutes on 40% and they were juicy and awesome!  I didn’t have any veggies to have with it, but the lettuce did the trick for me.  We ate early, so the rest of the evening consisted of snacks (milk, cheese).

Friday, 08/01/2014 *** Bacon Wrapped Shrimp with Pineapple Tidbits ***

This little dandy didn’t come from our normal cookbook – it just happened to be in our grocery store publication (it’s a rather fancy store with it’s own quarterly food magazine) and it just happens to be Paleo (within reason – it has maple syrup which is allowed on special occasions).  So being the lovers of shrimp, and spice, and bacon that we are, this was put into our rotation immediately!

It was AWESOME!  I would make this again and again.  The sauce is to die for – and it’s just 1/4 cup of pure maple syrup and 2 TBSP of Srirachi sauce – that’s it.  Back in the day, B and I would go to a brew pub at least once a week for a shrimp dish that we both loved – we’d order two rounds of it for our appetizer because we couldn’t stand sharing just one serving.  They took it off the menu and B’s been sad ever since.  I told him tonight (he’s still out of town) that we can now make it at home – this recipe tastes just like that fabulous appetizer, but has grilled bacon and pineapple as a bonus.  Hell yes!

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Saturday, 08/02/2014

B got home today so we went out to dinner. We both wanted to end the week well so chose Joe.s Cr.ab Sha.ck for two of their healthy options. As B always says, we can cook much better meals at home, and he’s right. I had the Malibu shrimp (no rice, add broccoli) which was fine, but not great, and B had mahi. The kids ate grilled white fish and DEVOURED it, so that’s a positive from our experience! We all went to a lakefront then to feed ducks which was super relaxing! It was a pretty solid ending to a *primarily* paleo week (because I had those tacos and a kids cup of vanilla soft serve from DQ earlier in the week).

Week in Review:

  • Weight Lost This Week:  2.4 pounds
  • Weight Lost So Far (in 2 weeks):  5.8 pounds
  • Fat % Lost This Week:  1.2%
  • Fat % Lost So Far:  2%
  • Noteworthy Points:  I’m finding it easier and easier to prep and cook dinner – and it makes me happy to do it!  I feel like a better mother and wife, which sounds ridiculous but it’s true.  I have stepped up my fitness plan just because I need a break from my kids with B out of town all week – so the YMCA and long walks it is for Bryson and me while Matthew is at camp.  I only did the Y one day, and the walk for two days, but it was nice!  I also took Bryson to kickboxing with me twice this week which worked out once, but was a colossal failure on Friday (we left early).
  • How I feel:  TIRED.  Bryson is having a hard time at night with teething and an awful cold – so I’m just exhausted.  I was actually relieved when we had to leave kickboxing early on Friday.  Besides being tired, I feel really good! My body is very sore from the near-constant exercise (and new shoes) which is good, but still painful!


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The Monday Snapshot – My Sweet Boy

Matthew is 3 now, and everyone says 3 is harder than 2. In some ways, I agree, but in others, I do not.

Matthew certainly knows what he wants and tries very hard to succeed in his endeavors (like his dad), even if he knows he’s, “making Mommy mad” (oh, the way he says MAAAAD is so cute!). But he is also just the sweetest thing I’ve ever met! He’s always been a sweet boy, but today … Today melted my heart.

(Jackson was howling in his bag in the front seat.)

Matthew – “Mommy put cat in car.”
Me – “which cat is that, Matthew?”
Matthew – “Lily.”
Me – “No, buddy, it’s Jack. Do you remember where Lily is?”
(He points up to the sky.)
Matthew – “Up high.”
Me – “In the clouds, huh?”
Matthew – “Uh huh. I want her back, Mommy.”

Then he waves to the clouds and softly says, “Hi, Lily,” with the sweetest smile on his face.

I teared up as we both blew her a kiss from the car.

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Paleo Week 1 – Getting Into It!

This marked our first week of going Paleo for B and me (the boys are already primarily Paleo in their diets).  The week went really well and I did the bulk of the cooking, which I’m really enjoying.  The cookbook we’re using is “Everyday Paleo – Family Cookbook” by Sarah Fra.oso.  We’ve really enjoyed getting familiar with the recipes and how they’re designed.  No portion sizes are given – she just says, “serves 5” or something similar.  I’ve learned to read that first before planning any meals – we don’t need 2 pounds of sirloin to share between the two of us!

Sunday, 07/20/2014  *** Ground Pork and Apple Sliders ***

B made these awesome pork and apple sliders.  They were to die for and we did not modify the recipe at all.  We used Boston Bib lettuce as “buns” and it was perfect!  We paired them with the worst steamed green beans of all time (yes – legumes – we had fresh ones in the fridge to use up and the boys love them) but that didn’t matter because the sliders were THAT GOOD!

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Monday, 07/21/2014  *** Tomato Soup with Chicken ***

I made tomato soup and it was pretty good – but required some doctoring.  We added cayenne pepper, dried basil, and Bavarian seasoning to it.  I put a bit too much garlic in it.  I did not puree the soup long enough and it was chunkier than we’d normally prefer, but still good.  I used shredded rotisserie chicken as a topping – I felt no need to make my own chicken.

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Tuesday, 07/22/2014  *** Mini Meatloaves with Homemade Ketchup ***

Meatloaf is a big hit with the kids, but since we keep them on a rather strict Paleo diet, we get pretty frustrated with the amount of bread used in traditional meatloaf.  We were excited to try these mini-meatloaves and they didn’t disappoint.  B had made the ketchup on Sunday so that was nice to have ready to go.  I added cayenne pepper, which was a nice kick.  We both agreed that we’d sauté the carrots and garlic first before mixing with the meat next time.  They were a bit too crunchy and at times, we felt like we were eating raw garlic.  We also realized that with a non-stick pan, there was no need to grease the pan.  We paired this with mashed cauliflower made with coconut milk and it was great!

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The ketchup that B made is just awesome!  We did add some of it to our pork sliders, but used the rest of the jar to top off our mini-meatloaves.  B prefers to puree it next time to smooth it down, but I love it the way it is!

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Wednesday, 07/23/2014  *** Mexican Beef Skewers with Chipotle Cream Sauce and Basil Pesto ***

This is the big winner so far!  I would put this meal into our weekly rotation for sure.  We were both looking so forward to making these Mexican skewers!  I prepped the marinade in the morning while the kids were up and got the meat marinating by 10:00 AM.  While they napped, I put the meat and tomatoes on the skewers and wrapped them in foil before putting them back in the fridge for more marinating.  I also steamed up some Brussels sprouts (with just garlic salt) and then put those on different skewers so we could just grill everything together (and crisp up those sprouts – yummy!) when we got home from swim lessons and kickboxing.  This worked out great!  They were perfect and the only thing we’d change is adding mushrooms to the skewers.  We would serve them again with Brussels sprouts for sure.

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The best part of this meal was the finishing touches – the sauces!  I made the chipotle cream sauce and cilantro pesto as the kids napped and the recipes were spot-on – they took just 5 and 10 minutes to make.  Everything was in the fridge and ready for cooking at 2:30.  The combo of the cocoa marinade and the two sauces was ridiculous, and the pesto was great on the sprouts!

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* A quick note – we had a lot of pesto left over so we saved it for later, hoping we’d find something to make with it.  Turns out, there is a breakfast egg recipe that calls for it, and B made those Friday morning and they were AWESOME!  We still have pesto leftover, so we’ll be making the eggs again this week!

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Thursday, 07/24/2014  *** Fiesta Chicken Soup ***

This soup was fantastic – FANTASTIC!  B and I both frequented a place here in town, long before we met each other, and we both still talk about how great their chicken tortilla soup was (the place went out of business eons ago).  Whenever we have a chicken tortilla soup anywhere, we compare it to Mondo’s.  After having one bite of this soup, I said, “This is just like Mondo’s, but without the sour cream, tortilla strips, and cheese!”  He said, “I KNEW you were going to say that – I agree!”  And you know – it was just like Mondo’s.  We’ll be making it again, but we have enough leftovers that we won’t be making it for at least a week.  HA!

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I did make a slight modification.  When they said salt and pepper to taste, I took that very loosely and decided that cayenne pepper would be better than regular pepper.  And I probably put in 1/2 a teaspoon of chipotle seasoning because you can’t beat chipotle flavor.  Oh – and I did put some cheese on top.  I couldn’t help it and desperately needed the calories after the workout I did this morning!

* A quick note – this made the best leftovers!  We are not into leftovers… at all.  We both agreed that this was a solid leftover meal that made us both very happy!

Friday, 07/25/2014  *** Date Night ***

My in-laws texted us in the early afternoon asking if we wanted them to watch the kids some time this weekend so we could go out.  YES PLEASE!  Because B was leaving town Sunday morning, we asked them to come that night!  We went out to the newest hot spot and both agreed that it was going to be a free day – and we shared a pizza as an appetizer and I had lasagna.  B had lamb.  We both had dessert.  They were not Paleo friendly.  The end.  (Actually no, not the end.  It was DELICIOUS!)

Saturday, 07/26/2014  *** Whole Greek Chicken with Roasted Garlic ***

This was terrific!  I cooked the chicken upside down, with the breast on the bottom, and we think that kept the breast really moist.  B wished there had been more eat-able skin, but the skin he did have, he loved.  I put asparagus in with it about half-way through cooking and it wasn’t good.  The asparagus was way too thin (we don’t have a great selection of asparagus here lately, for some reason).  I put 1.5 lemons in my 4 pound chicken and saved 1/2 a lemon to use on the asparagus.  Once the chicken was done, I squeezed the cooked lemons onto the meat and it was to die for!  We cooked 4 garlic bulbs (yes, BULBS) and ate them ALL.  This is a repeater!

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Week in Review:

  • Weight Lost:  3.4 pounds
  • Body Fat % Lost:  0.8%
  • Noteworthy Points:  The week went ridiculously well.  I did not expect to get into it so easily.  The fabulous recipes are the sole reason it’s going so well.  When we did this in the past, I was very resistant because I wasn’t in love with the recipes in the cookbook we were using.  I’m so glad B picked up this recipe book!  There was only one recipe we weren’t super excited about (tomato soup), and even that one, we’d try again with modifications.
  • How I feel:  I feel TERRIFIC!  My body just feels light.  I have no water weight and I’m looking as trim as I’m feeling.  I am not at all disappointed when I step on the scale – even our date night only cost me 0.6-0.8 pounds which is already gone.  Besides the date night and my abuse of Di.et Pep.si, we have stuck to our Paleo plan 100%!  I truly feel that this is the lifestyle shift we needed, and will stick to.

 


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Sharing My Findings

As I embark on the last 5 weeks of my fitness challenge, we’ve decided to follow a Paleo diet for ourselves (we always follow one for the kids – more on that another time).  We were strict Paleo right before Matthew turned 1 and we both have never felt better!  Because weight loss is a side-effect of following a Paleo diet, we figured this was as good a time as any to get back on our healthy eating lifestyle.  I can say that just 4 days in, I feel great!

Because I’m a tracker of all things in my life, I’m going to keep track of the recipes we use each day for our family dinners.  I’ll be tracking all of this on my Paleo Adventure page and then moving each week’s worth of content to a post every Sunday (or so).  I’ll be keeping notes on weight loss, how I feel, how it went in general, etc. each week.

This really is an exercise for myself, so I don’t expect anyone to follow along or care about this.  But in case you’re looking for great Paleo recipes, or are curious to see how this way of life changes my life, feel free to read along each week!


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5 Weeks (NOT What You’re Thinking!)

I’ve been keeping something rather close to the vest lately – unless you follow me on MyFitnessPal (Josey and Esperanza).

I’ve been kicking my ass into fitness gear.  Like – seriously.

I met B when I enrolled in an intense 10-week fitness course that was just local here in Iowa – it has since spread to 9 states (check it out if you’re in Colorado, Nebraska, South Dakota, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana, or North Carolina.  B has known the guy who started this since he was 8 years old (B, not the guy) and he is a stand-up dude who wants nothing more than to help people exceed their fitness goals!).  It’s pretty serious and meets 6 days a week, doing true martial arts kickboxing 3 of those days and resistance bands for strength the other 3 days.  This program is insanely effective and the first time around (more than 8 years ago!), I lost 7.3% body fat and 12.6 pounds.  I was, admittedly, a bit disappointed in the weight loss but the body fat loss was super high for a female.   I did this program for 4 years and quit once we were failing miserably at getting pregnant (sigh).

So – I have been struggling to lose the last 10 pounds of pregnancy weight and I knew what had to be done.  I had to enroll again in this program – the one that works.  The one I know.  The one I trust.

Today was 5-week testing.  I’m down 4.7% body fat and 12.8 pounds.  The second 5 weeks are usually more effective, especially for women, so I’m hoping to at least double those numbers by 10 weeks.  I know I can do it.  We’re going strict Paleo in this house on Monday for the remaining 5 weeks and that should really melt the pounds off.  I’m super excited!

My stats so far:

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I’m pretty excited about all of the stats, especially when I compare them to my 5-week testing from 8 years ago (yes, I have that all electronically), but I’m most excited about my mile run time.  I was shooting to take a minute off of the run time by 5 weeks, but I took 1:22 off of it and am almost under 9 minutes.  I better be under 9 minutes in 5 weeks.  B thinks I’ll be able to do it in 8:15-ish territory.  I’m shooting for 8:27.

This whole thing is a competition with all other people in the 10-week program – and the person with the most changes wins $1,000.  When I ran into Mr. F who owns this crazy-successful franchise two weeks before I started, I said, “Mr F, I’m coming back, and I’m in it to win it.”  I know what to do, I’m off to an insane start, and I plan to win.  And if I don’t win, I’ll at least look good losing.  HA!

Oh – and I hit my pre-pregnancy weight today!  Halle-freaking-luiah!  It only took 1 year and 24 days.  Good Lord!

(I was hoping to have the “before” photo they took of me, but they don’t give those out anymore at 5-week testing.  I will post my “before” and “after” photos right after I get them in 5 weeks!)

 


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Wordy Wednesday – Everyone’s Healing

Thank you to everyone for your kind words and thoughts about our Lily. We have had some really hard times here, but we’re doing better by the day.

We’ve been very surprised by how Matthew has taken this. We weren’t sure he’d understand, but he surely does and he has been very sad the last two days. He’s been waking up at night, telling us he misses us, resisting fun things like camp and friends because he doesn’t want to leave us, and saying, “I miss/want her,” when Lily comes up. We knew he loved her, but we didn’t know he’d miss her so badly.

My friend suggested a few months ago that we get a plush kitty that looks like Lily that Matthew can hold onto and love when he’s missing her. Being just 3, I wasn’t sure if he’d “get it” but that didn’t stop me from overnighting one yesterday. The stuffy arrived today during Matthew’s nap and I brought her to him right when he woke up. I said she’s his new “Lily Cat” who he can hug and love when he misses his Lily. He immediately said, “she’s in the clouds. Playing with ribbons. Pink ones and white ones,” and then hugged “Lily Cat” tightly and smiled. He seemed relieved. He insisted on taking her in the car (he doesn’t take any stuffies in the car – just wants balls and books) and hugged her the entire 30 minute drive to speech. “Lily Cat” had dinner with us on the deck, played basketball, and danced with us. At bedtime, Matthew asked for “my Lily Cat” and held her tight during books and singing, and fell asleep with her in his arms.

I am still amazed that Matthew understands this so well. I am even more amazed by the turn-around in his mood upon getting his “Lily Cat.” My little boy was hurting. He was confused, and sad, and insecure. And so were we. We shouldn’t be surprised by his emotions because he is a little human being with the same emotions as us, but we just didn’t think he’d “get it.” But he does.

Everyone here is healing slowly. B has taken this quite hard, I’ve had more moments of tears and sobbing than I can count, Matthew is obviously struggling (but seemingly better now), and Janie and Jackson are depressed and not eating. But each day is easier. Each day is a day further from the raw pain and a day closer to getting Lily’s ashes home with us where she belongs.

We’ll all be fine, it will just take time.

But we’ll miss Lily forever. That is for sure.