All the Sun For You

A mom, two boys, a husband, and a whole lot of adventure!

Category Archives: Sleep


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Such an Idiot

I feel like an idiot over this whole sleeping thing with Matthew.  I have always thought that he was a 6:00 AM riser – that that was just how he was.  He has been creeping that time back (earlier and earlier) every day and a couple days ago, I said, “we just need to let him fuss and see if he resolves it himself.”  I didn’t have the heart to do it – I mean – he got up at 6:15 yesterday and that was really good for him!

But this morning?  He cried at 5:15.  He stood up in his crib (never a good sign), and I said, “let’s just wait a second and see.”  He was back down and asleep within a minute.  A MINUTE.  That goes to show you how quickly we were running to him when he woke up around 6:00.  He then slept until 6:40.  He woke up happy.  Chipper.  Elated!  He spent the entire morning pleasant and cheerful, versus tired and cranky.  He went down for his nap at 10:15 just perfectly – and slept for an hour and a half.

I’ve been letting this poor baby get up too early.  SHAME ON ME!  He didn’t want to be up that early any more than we did.

Major fail on our part – but oh well.  It’s not the first… and it won’t be the last  😉


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Vacation Perfection

We’re on vacation! It’s beautiful here, but cold. Oh so cold! When we packed Matthew’s clothes, B said he wouldn’t need long pants because it would only be cold at night. I ALWAYS over pack, so I brought half of M’s 12-18 month wardrobe including pants and hoodies. That decision has paid off!

I will update more when I’m home, but it’s been an eventful trip with a trip to the ER (everyone is OK), teething, and early (insanely, swear-inducing early) mornings. BUT it’s been a great week of just family and limited technology. The only reason I’m getting away with using my phone for blogging is that B’s company is making major announcements this week and he’s keeping up with them on his slate. We agreed to limit time on phones and his slate, but the man’s got to work some and that means blogging and reading for me! I’m not complaining!

Matthew naps like a champ here! Why wont he sleep alone past 3 or 4 in the morning? I am one tired woman. He doesn’t sleep well in bed with us and I nurse him almost the whole time he’s in bed with us, so I don’t sleep well either and my girls need a freaking break! Ouch!

We come home tomorrow. I think 4 nights is the perfect time away with a baby. 5 nights is actually my own shelf-life for vacations so this one worked out great! The cottage is so comfortable! It feels like we’re home but on the lake. I think our accommodations have made the trip super easy! A regular hotel room would not have worked…. And that has me a bit edgy about our trip next month.

I’m not ready to go home just yet, but I will be tomorrow. Vacation perfection was achieved this time!


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First Real Mother’s Day

Today feels like Mother’s Day to me because Matthew has napped TWICE in his crib, for over an hour each time!  He’s napping now!  YAY!  Now – this does not mean he goes down for naps easily.  Oh no.  I nurse him to a drowsy state, lay him down, pat his back, sigh as he starts to howl, and then… this morning… I decided to walk out.  I decided today that this baby needs to learn to fall asleep without nursing, because in 1.5 months (sniff, sniff), he won’t be nursing anymore.  I don’t want him to have to adjust to too many changes at once, so I just decided on a whim today that I’m done holding him for his naps.

I was spending 2-3 hours a day in the glider in the nursery – and that just wasn’t good for anyone.  The house was always a mess because I had no time alone to clean it up, I was becoming resentful of having no time (not even 30 minutes) to myself, and Matthew was not sleeping soundly in my arms – he would wake up several times.  He used to transfer to his crib so easily – it was ridiculous how easy it was and it was working.  But he got a cold two weeks ago and he’s only been napping in my arms since.

So anyway – I walked out today and he howled and screamed – this was true “crying it out,” but I refused to give in.  I texted my dear friend about it and she reassured me that I was doing the right thing.  After 35 minutes (holy hell!), I went in, laid him down, rubbed his back and nose, and watched him drift to sleep.  I did the same thing for his afternoon nap but after only 10 minutes of howling – and he’s been asleep for an hour and 25 minutes so far.  He’s even woken up twice in this nap and put himself back to sleep without any visits from me.

Finally – some time to myself!  I’ve caught up on laundry, dishes, etc.  And now I’m reading all of my friends’ blogs on a real computer and not just my phone – while eating home-made spiced nuts made by my wonderful husband.  How fantastic this feels!

So Mother’s Day.  Holy smokes – B went ALL out this year!  Last year was a let-down because I didn’t even get a card, despite being almost 8 months pregnant.  I was not a happy mother-to-be.  But this year?  Oh you guys! I didn’t get a Mother’s Day – I got a Mother’s Weekend!

On Saturday around 2:30, I was working on Matthew’s birthday banner when my friend, Denise, came over with her daughter.  This surprised me because she was scheduled to come over at 5:00 to take photos of Matthew for his birthday invitations.  It took me a minute to figure out what was going on, but B had booked pedicures for the three of us girls for Mother’s Day!  How nice (I really needed one!)!  As we were walking out, he put cash in my pocket and said to stop at the frozen yogurt place afterwards and then handed me a gift bag saying to open it with the girls when we got there.

So we’re waiting for our pedicures and I opened the bag, and there was a gift for each of us.  B had picked out a special book for each of us and they were all very fitting to our unique personalities and our current life situations.  How nice is that?  We loved our pedicures and then went for frozen yogurt as advised to do (this is not a paleo/primal snack) before heading home.  B was making a huge dinner for the three of us!  We took Matthew out for his photo shoot while he finished up our dinner.  It was the best dinner I’ve had in a long time!

On Sunday, the fun had not stopped.  I woke up to find a card on the pillow next to me.  It was from Jackson, our boy cat who sleeps up by my face every night.  An hour later, out on the kitchen table, there was another card – this time it was from Janie, our youngest kitty (she thinks the table’s her special sitting place).  A while later, there was a card on the vanity from Lily, my precious cat who’s pulled me through some rough times.  I brush her every single day up on the vanity, so that’s why her card was there.  I went to get dressed and there was a new dress hanging in the closet from my hubby.  And finally, at one point when I went into Matthew’s room, there was a card waiting for me in the rocker – the card from my sweet boy!

B gave me his card on Monday morning.  So I truly had a full weekend of love and appreciation!  B and I write long notes in our cards to each other – and this weekend was no exception.  He wrote me a heart-felt note from each of the three cats, Matthew, and himself.  That’s a lot of sentiment to write for one holiday!

It was a wonderful day – and weekend!  The only regret is that we did not get one single picture of Matthew and me together.  Oh well – we have some from the day before!  Because I don’t have Mother’s Day photos to share, I’ll share some fun random ones from the last few days!

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Fool Me Twice

Sleep – it’s the topic that dominated my blog for a couple of weeks and now?  Now we don’t really even think about it.  I nurse Matthew to sleep at bedtime and before each nap and then I put him down.  Instead of worry about when he’ll wake up again, I move onto other things, fun things, MY things.

Sure, I always wonder when he’ll wake up, because he’s still not a 10-12 hour sleeper.  But I don’t let it consume me like I used to.  I used to sit up until midnight or 1:00 AM just KNOWING that he’d be up again soon (so why bother going to sleep?).  I’m now going to bed around 11:00, and it’s wonderful!

We still have our struggles.  Matthew used to get up any time between 6 and 7 (and that was perfect!), but now after a pretty rotten cold, he is getting up in the 5:00 hour and this morning, he was up at 4:20 (GASP!).  I didn’t even try to get him to go back to sleep today – I just picked him up and brought him to our bed.  Problem solved!  I have hope and confidence that tomorrow will be back to normal – or close to it.  In the old days, I’d be stressing about this ONE morning possibly wrecking everything.  HA!

Naps are way better than they were.  I’ve worked in story time before each nap and that seems to help.  When he pushes the book away, I know he’s ready to settle in so that’s what we do.  I’m transferring him to the crib after just 10-20 minutes now (if it’s up to 20 minutes, it’s because I’m reading blogs on my phone and am comfy with my baby) and he’ll usually sleep for at least another hour.

I just cannot believe that we went from the disaster we were living to this very predictable sleeping and napping schedule.  We get two solid naps in each day and they’re usually 1-2 hours in length each.  Matthew is also waking up from his naps so well.  He woke up today and I didn’t even know it.  I turned on the video monitor just to check on him because it had been almost 2 hours and there he was, sitting up in his crib, playing with his Boo and babbling to himself.  No crying.  No freak-out.  He woke up happy and entertained himself.  Now – if we could only get him to wake up in the mornings this way!

We are the furthest thing from being the poster children for the Ferber method or sleep training in general, but I’m pleased with what we’ve accomplished.  I know that the crux of our problem was age and stage.  We waited too long to start helping him sleep, and Matthew was able to stand up in the crib (but couldn’t get down) and protest for as long as his legs would hold him (and that was proven to be more than 70 minutes one night).  Given the whole standing up issue – we should have helped him sleep earlier, or put it off until he could get himself back down.  Oh, the lessons we learn!

The next baby will be introduced to sleep training starting at 4 months.  Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice?  No – it isn’t going to happen!

The Many Ways That Matthew Gets His Sleep:

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Lots of Good News!

I have lots of good news to report!  Some of it is significant but most of it is only important to me  🙂

Good news #1:  I stopped up at the NICU today to deliver a gift to my friends.  I wasn’t going to stay, and wasn’t even going to bother them to say, “hello.”  I just wanted to drop off my gift at the front desk and be on my way – and out of their hair.  The nurses kept insisting that I see “her,” and by “her,” I think they meant the baby.  I kept saying, “no, no, I don’t want to be a bother.”  They would not take my gift and picked up the phone to start dialing their room!  I was just appalled!  The last thing I wanted was to bother these poor parents when anything could be happening at that moment, good or bad.  I sighed and turned my head, and there they were in the room right next to me.  I told the nurse to stop dialing, that they were right there and then I asked, “is that their room?  I can’t go in their room.”  I was explaining to B tonight that I just don’t want to be that person who parades in to see their little baby.  She’s their baby, not a spectacle.  I don’t want them to feel like they need to explain a  single thing to me about what’s going on with her, what the tubes are for, etc.  I want her room to remain quiet and still – and I am not a quiet person even if I try.

It turns out that the room they were in was just the family waiting room, and I was happy to go in there!  So I did – and I am so glad I did!  We chatted and it was really great to see them.  There were tears exchanged but the good news is that they keep getting good news!  This baby is unbelievable – and is on very little breathing support and has no bleeding on the brain.  The one thing that isn’t going perfectly is the hole in her heart and she has surgery for that tomorrow – so please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.  The surgery is routine, but as I said to my friend, as routine as it is, this is their  baby and of course it’s worrisome.

I didn’t stay too long, but you could tell that they would have been fine if I’d stayed a while.  I think the visit was a nice, welcome distraction.  I got a very nice text message later from one of them and I think I’m going to take lunch to her this week.  I am so glad I stopped up and SAW them!  Those nurses know what they’re doing!

Good news #2:  Matthew is consistently sleeping through the night!  I mean – THROUGH.THE.NIGHT!  He goes to sleep between 8 and 9 and sleeps until 6 – every single day!  He even had a rough bedtime last night and I thought that it could be a rough night for us all but no – he slept until 5:56!  Of course I brought him into bed with us and he slept with me WAY TOO LATE until 8:30.  He wakes up crying from his night-time sleep.  I think that has to mean he’s not getting enough sleep.  We put him down tonight at 8:07 and I’m curious to see how he wakes up tomorrow.  Anyway – that is FIVE nights in a row of continuous sleep!

Good news #3:  Paleo/Primal lifestyle is going well!  I did try some things this week because my milk supply was pretty low when I pumped at the end of the first week of the diet.  It got progressively less and less each night.  I dabbled with limited grains and dairy this week and the supply went up – but it was also up on the days that I had no grains or dairy.  I think the milk supply drop was a fluke.  I’m back fully on primal/paleo which means gluten/grain/dairy free.  I only lost one pound this week.  For the two weeks combined, I’m at 5.6 pounds lost so far.

Good news #4:  Matthew fed himself for the first time tonight!  Yes – I know – this is late in the game.  However, when you don’t feed your baby puffs or cheerios, they’re very limited on what they can really pick up and get to their mouth without mashing it all up.  He tried really really hard with peas tonight and got one pea into his mouth successfully!  Now that I’ve seen him do it, we can go back to me feeding him and keeping him clean.  HA!

Good news #5:  Matthew has learned how to get himself down from standing positions all over the house.  WHAT A RELIEF!  This started yesterday and it could not be any cuter.  He does not lower himself with his knees.  No.  He very carefully holds onto his support (me, a table, the sofa, whatever) as he steadies and lowers his tush a little.  Then he lets go with both hands and falls on his tush.  It is adorable!  Of course we cheer him on over and over again!  He stands up at his table just to plop himself back town again for practice/show.  He has not pulled himself up in his crib all week so I’m not sure if he can do it in the crib or not.  I have to believe he can and will if he does it everywhere else!

Good news #6:  I am making progress on Matthew’s birthday banner.  It is getting out of control.  Had I stuck to my original plan, I would have been done by now.

Good news #7:  I am working on planning my friend’s baby shower.  Nothing makes me happier than planning a party!  I am now planning TWO parties (birthday and shower) – so I am really excited!

Good news #8:  Now that naps are back on in the crib, I have been able to do my hair EVERY day this past week.  AHHHH!!!  It feels so good!

See – I told you that most of it wouldn’t be important to anyone but me  😉


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It’s All About Trust

I’m finding that everything I try to accomplish with Matthew involves gaining his trust in some way.  Be it feeding him new foods, keeping him safe, or getting him to sleep – it’s me who has to gain his trust.  It’s not just granted because I’m his mother.

Matthew slept through the night AGAIN last night – and longer than the night before.  We were still up in the 5:0o hour, but 5:38 is better than 5:13!  He whimpered again last night at 3:15 (he must sleep cycle right around then) but got himself through it within seconds and put himself back to sleep.  You may remember that we went through a phase where he would only nap in my arms.  As nice as it is to snuggle your baby, spending up to 4 hours a day in a chair is not ideal.  I figured that he was fearing being put in his crib  and left there – and I think I was right.  Now that we’ve gotten over the hurdle (disaster) of last week, he’s sleeping so well both at night and during naps.  I still nurse him to sleep for both bedtime and naps*, and he now trusts me to transfer him to his crib and come back when he’s ready – not necessarily the next time he wakes up.  Before, I would just get him to the mattress before he would absolutely freak out.  It did not matter how asleep he was – mattress equaled being abandoned to him – and he would wake up fully and scream.  Now, he stretches a big stretch as I lower him into his crib, grabs his lovey, and settles in.  He’ll even look up at me like, “see you in a bit, Mom.”  When he was napping this morning, he did wake up and I worried because it had only been 20 minutes.  But he rolled to his back, stretched, babbled a second, rolled back onto his tummy – and went to sleep.  I about died!

He is waking up happy from his naps (but not bedtime!).  Instead of crying for my attention, he sets himself up as he babbles and grabs his favorite stuffed animal to play.  He trusts that I’ll hear him and come to him.  I can even take my time getting there now – he still won’t cry or scream for me.

I’ve noticed the same thing when it comes to his safety.  He’s gotten to the point where he’ll screech for help if he needs it, and he trusts me when I walk away from him in a big-boy situation (standing up at his table, cruising the furniture, crawling down the hall).  He used to require my presence at all times, but he now trusts that I’ll come back to help him when he needs or wants it.  I know that this is a regular development for kids, but I never equated it to trust.

Food.  My child eats anything I put in front of him.  He used to be very skeptical and would show that on his face.  Now, he knows his food won’t be too hot, too cold, or disgusting (HA!).  He trusts that I’ll get him more if he wants more, and that I won’t force it if he’s had enough.  I wasn’t always like that – I had to learn his cues and preferences.  Now that I know them, he trusts me to get it right (and I usually do!).

Where we have not gained trust?  Diaper changes.  Holy hell – that is a major ordeal all of a sudden  😉

* Ferber says not to nurse your babies to sleep ever, unless they are able to sleep through the night.  If you nurse them to sleep and they already sleep through the night, then you don’t have a problem (that’s what he says).  I struggled with giving up the nursing – I flat out refused to do it.  B read chapter 4 of the book and said, “well, we know the problem.  You’re nursing him to sleep each.and.every.time.”  I told him that Ferber says that’s OK if they’ll sleep through the night.  He pointed out that it’s not OK in our situation because Matthew is NOT sleeping through the night.  He lovingly said that I can’t have it both ways (which according to the book, is true).  I’m happy to report that my refusal to give up the nursing has paid off, and I NOW have a child who naps very successfully after being nursed to sleep (successfully = 1-2 hour naps) and is sleeping through the night after being nursed to sleep.  I CAN HAVE IT BOTH WAYS  🙂


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I Swear He’s Reading my Blog

I think Matthew is reading my blog after I go to bed.  I think he read that we were starting over with the Ferber method last night and decided that he doesn’t want to do that.  He slept 9 hours!

I didn’t sleep much at all  😉

He did a lot of moaning around 3:00 when he usually wakes up, and he was sideways in his crib so I went in to straighten him out so that his head wasn’t up against the rails.  That seemed to quiet the moans until 4:15 when he just quirmed a little.  At 5:13 – he woke up for good and stood up, despite being in his sleep sack.  I couldn’t get him to go back to sleep, and Ferber says not to try after 5:00, so I pulled him into bed with us and we snuggled until 7:30.  I know, I know – snuggling in bed is not part of the deal but he was so tired still, and I saw no reason to torture him with being up so early.

He took a long nap this morning (I forgot to write down the start and end time but it was at least 90 minutes and I think closer to 2 hours) and he did most of it in his crib.  I nursed him to sleep and tried laying him down twice and he wasn’t having it.  After 30 minutes or so, he went down just fine.  He slept for an hour in the car at 3:15 because people were at the house at nap time so we took his nap time to the car.  He went to sleep tonight right at 8:30 – on the nose.

A good night, turned into a good day, turned into a good evening.

I am not even thinking that this is a turning point… but golly, it sure would be nice!

In other news, I was feeling bold today and posted a link to Jjiraffe’s recent blog post on FB.  I have 4 “likes” so far – two from other infertile friends and two from a couple of dear, fertile friends.  I don’t know where this bravery is coming from, but I think it’s a good thing.  One of my infertile friends, who is fiercely private, reposted the link on her FB page/timeline.  I was very proud of her – that alone made my posting of the link so worth the agony over whether or not to do it!

In more other news, I finally figured out how to use my Cricut die-cutting machine yesterday – so I am full-on working on Matthew’s birthday banner.  I’ve had the machine for a year (a gift from my mom) but was terribly intimidated by it.  My sister, who has a wonderful (and successful!) Etsy store, gave me a crash course on using it and it is rather easy!  Matthew’s birthday banner is getting more and more ornate by the day.  Next up will be practice cakes so that I can get his birthday cake just perfect!  Before any of you think I’m this crazy cake chef – I am not.  I use boxed cake and then do all the decorating with fondant and homemade frosting.  I only have two months to work on the cake and that is now intimidating me.

In even more other news, the paleo/primal lifestyle is working out swimmingly.  I am telling you, I am NEVER uncomfortably full or hungry!  We bought the “Primal Blueprint Quick and Easy Meals” cookbook and have made quite a few meals from it (well… B has made quite a few meals!) and they are good!  So, so good!  I am down 5.6 pounds in a little less than 1.5 weeks.  I cannot believe it!  I owe a couple of you either an email or a comment response about the paleo/primal thing and I have not forgotten – just want to give them some thought rather than write randomly like this blog post  😉

 

 

 

 


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False Pretenses

A very quick update because I’m tired.  It dawned on me from the comments I’ve received about Matthew’s sleeping that I have not shared the latest.

We’re starting over with Day 1 of Ferber tonight.  He slept that one night of 10.25 hours (who’s counting?) and then it went downhill from there.  I have pulled out the old sleep sacks to try to keep him from standing up in his crib (he figured that out though today during his second nap – I’m hoping he’ll be too tired in the middle of the night to push his luck and balance).  I have started a new tracking spreadsheet (as if that has anything to do with it).  I’ve re-jazzed myself for those long nightly stretches of going in every X minutes to try to calm him down.

I wanted to update you because letting you all think that this whole thing is working out, is operating under false pretenses.

Wish me luck!


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Updates

The main things going on right now in my life are sleep training Matthew, and transitioning to a paleo/primal lifestyle.  I have updates on both (this is rather boring stuff, so feel free to click away if you want!).

Sleep Training:

  • I reviewed Matthew’s sleep charts and saw two glaring things – I was not enforcing a solid nap schedule and we were bringing him into bed with us for HOURS every morning when he got up
  • Matthew was only napping in my arms, nursing – every single time.  I was going insane.  I was spending 3 hours a day in a glider
  • I was staying way too long in his room, rubbing his back, after putting him down for the night
  • Since forcing a nap schedule and not bringing him in to sleep with us, everything turned around
  • Matthew slept 10.25 hours straight through the night last night!
  • Matthew has taken 2 naps each of the last two days IN HIS CRIB.  Yes, i still nurse him to sleep but he’s aware when I’m putting him in his crib
  • I get the heck out of his space right after putting him in his crib, and all is better
  • Everyone is happier today than we’ve been in weeks!
  • It only (HA!) took 2 full weeks of Ferberizing (so much for all the, “it only takes a few nights” comments I got from everyone I know!)

Paleo/Primal Lifestyle

  • So far, so good
  • Still need to cut out the dairy
  • Slipped up today and had a small piece of garlic toast that came with my 100% primal salad.  I’m not beating myself up.  It was damned good!
  • I’ve had no more soda since my slip-up earlier this week that I confessed to everyone
  • This is much easier than I thought it would be!
  • As of this morning, I was down 4.4 pounds.  Hard to believe!  I don’t expect this to continue

Other Random Updates

  • Matthew is standing up at his activity table now so I had to take the little spinning seat off.  I am sad about this  😦
  • Matthew has found his voice and it is rather loud.  I love listening to him talk and babble because I know that his speech is deliberate and he is saying something very specific that I just don’t understand  😉
  • I have spent lots of time wondering why so many people against CIO feel obligated and justified expressing their disapproval of the practice on all children, not just their own
  • My wonderful husband got my mobile phone replaced for free, and he set it all up for me.  I really appreciate this.  I hope I’m kinder to the new phone than I was to the old one
  • Matthew is now trying to climb out of his tub (and is quite good at it).  This means that he will get to bathe in the big boy tub and will probably be showering with me more often now
  • Despite Matthew sleeping better, I am not.  I still wake up quite a bit wondering if he’ll be waking up
  • I stepped totally out of my comfort zone and walked down to a neighbor’s  house, knocked on her door, and introduced Matthew and myself to her and her twins.  She is a SAHM mom too and we met her DH the other night who told us she’s lonely.  Well, so am I – so I told him I’d stop down to say hello this week so we did it today!  It was easy!
  • I had lunch with an old coworker today.  I thought to myself several times that no matter how boring some of my days are, I have no desire to be working where I used to work.  This is the job for me!