All the Sun For You

A mom, two boys, a husband, and a whole lot of adventure!

Category Archives: Matthew


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The Fates Have Spoken – And They Balanced Out My Week

The Fates decided to make today the opposite of yesterday.  Today was the scariest day for me as a mother.

The other day, I blogged about our geothermal unit needing to be replaced.  Last night, we noticed that we were no longer getting cold air, so I called Bob and he thinks that all of the Freon he pumped in yesterday has leaked out.  FOUR POUNDS OF FREON.  So where did it all go?  No one knows.  Neil (second opinion) told me yesterday that the leak could be in the coils, yadda, yadda, yadda.  I’m surprised I remembered the coils part.  I asked Bob today if he could give us more Freon and he said, “remember your question from the other day about a leak being a health hazard?  It’s become a health hazard.  I can’t put more Freon in for you because it’s not safe knowing that we lost 4 pounds in 36 hours.”  You’ve got to love Bob!  He is a straight shooter, and I love that about him.  So, my house is 80 degrees.  But that is the least of our problems.

I called B to update him and to ask how his call went with the folks who installed the geothermal unit originally (5 or so years ago).  B mentioned the water tasting funny and said that he’d read online that our unit has been found to leak Freon into the water tanks that the coils are submerged in.  RED FLAG, RED FLAG.  I asked, “you mean, the coils that Neil thought are the source of the leak?”  Yes.  OK, no biggie.  We’re not drinking that water, right?  Or are we?  This conversation was at 10:40 this morning.  M went down for a nap 50 minutes later.

M woke up at 12:06, which was a short nap for such a tired guy.  He fussed a bit, but I finished getting dressed.  When I went in to get him, he was soaked.  I figured he had been sweating because the house is hot, but then I noticed that he smelled like vomit.  His crib was soaked, he was soaked – so I figured I’d give him a bath.  As I got the water ready, he threw up on me twice.  I bathed him, he was getting more and more lethargic, so I called B to tell him to call the geothermal people to talk about the Freon leak and the potential to get to our water.  The reason I was concerned was because I’d made oatmeal for M just before his nap – and I made it with tap water prior to B telling me it tasted funny.

As I bathed M, I thought the water smelled different.  I did taste it, and it tasted fine.  But there was a smell to it.  After his bath, he threw up on me two more times (up to 5 times now).  My friend, Denise, was on her way over to bring me lunch so when she got here, I was in a panic and told her what was going on.  As I was telling her, he threw up again.  It wasn’t slowing down, and the volume was not decreasing.  Every time it happened, his eyes would roll to the back of his head, he’d lurch, gag, and then lay limp in my arms whimpering.  It was awful – and terrifying.  What was going on?

B was on the phone with poison control, the geothermal guys, and the ER.  Two different geothermal companies said that yes, even though highly unlikely, that Freon could have leaked into the water supply.  Poison control and the ER said to come in right away.  I waited for B to come home because I didn’t want M in the back seat, throwing up on the drive down, all by himself.  As we waited, M threw up again (7 times now).  I kept wondering if I was wasting precious time for M – was my waiting for B going to be the difference between a long healthy life, and a life of challenges due to poisoning?  B got home quickly, we headed down to the ER while M threw up again.  As we checked into the ER, he threw up down my back (a complete stranger came up trying to help clean me off.  People are so nice to mothers.  That was really thoughtful of her).  It was a sight – M was in nothing but a diaper and socks, wrapped in a blanket.  Brian was in his work clothes.  I was in a random T-shirt that I’d grabbed after I got drenched once before and a pair of running shorts that didn’t match.  We were a wreck.

And then it stopped.  As we waited (only a few minutes) to be called back, M perked up and even smiled and cooed.  What in the world was going on?  The triage nurse asked how many times he threw up.  I hadn’t counted, so I said 6 or 7.  In how much time?  An hour and 20 minutes.  “Whoa,” was the response from the nurse.  I asked if that was a lot.  The answer was yes – that frequency is abnormal even for the flu.  I sat there and counted up the times and came up with 9 times for sure, but I think there were 1 or 2 more.  We got back to see a doctor right away.

Blood was taken (twice, because the first draw was a bust), I had to step out because I couldn’t take it, we talked with the doctor, and waited.  We were allowed to feed M an hour after his last vomit, but he was barely interested.  He was exhausted and just wanted to sleep.  The verdict?  We don’t have one.  He’s perfectly fine now – we were discharged and told to come back if it starts up again, and to definitely go back tomorrow for more blood work because his liver enzymes were just very slightly elevated.  There was nothing in his blood work to suggest poisoning.

M is perfectly fine now.  It was 2 hours from hell, and now it’s over.  He’s eaten well since being home (liquid diet only of mom’s milk), has played with all of us – kitties included, and was even standing himself up in his crib without help (a first this morning!).  You would never know he had the day he had.

We’re all sleeping in the basement tonight.  M is down there now, snoozing away.  The main floor is just too darned hot.  I think it will be fun to all sleep in the same room together, especially after the day we had!

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Perfect Day

M and I had a darned near perfect day today!

It all started with a good night’s sleep.  M was asleep by 7:55 and slept a full 8 hours until 4:00 AM.  Now, I know that my almost-9-month-old should be sleeping through the night.  But he isn’t.  I’ve tried many approaches to help him learn how to sleep through the night and he just doesn’t want to do it.  Because he only gets up once a night, I’m totally OK with it.  I enjoy the little snuggle with him each night.  AND, if I’m being perfectly honest – what keeps me from forcing the issue is knowing that he could be our only child.  Knowing that, I am soaking up every moment that he wants to be in my arms.

So he slept until 4, was then up until 5 (I tried to put him to sleep without nursing from both breasts = big mistake), and then slept until 8:10!  This is a big deal.  This is a big freaking deal!  M loves, loves, loves to get up at 5:45 or 6:00 AM, nurse, con Dad into playing with him, and then take a cat nap at 8:00, which throws off the whole day and nap schedule.  The fact that he slept until 8:10?  I should have bought a lottery ticket because I knew it was going to be a great day!

I got to go to the gym since I knew M wouldn’t need a nap or be fussy at daycare for the short hour that he’s there.  He had a MUCH better time at daycare than he’s been having, so that was terrific!  We then went to baby gym without a nap for M, which had me a bit nervous.  No need to be – he was his normal happy, social, interactive self!  He had a great time!  I grabbed lunch and M fell asleep in the car for 45 minutes – not a great nap but I’ll take it.

We got a second opinion on our geothermal unit today – and he is in agreement with Bob that we need a new unit.  This was by far the worst part of the day, but I’m used to the idea now that we’ll be shelling out the money for a new unit, so the news just sort of blew by me.  While Neil (second opinion) was here, M ate his lunch and did not refuse or gag on his peas.  Again – should have bought a lottery ticket (I don’t know why I say that because I NEVER buy lottery tickets – or gamble for that matter.  Losing money makes me cry faster than anything else.  Truly.).

It is so freaking hot here right now (80 degrees today) that I had to get Matthew some shorts in his current size.  I didn’t think he’d need shorts in March so we don’t have any 6-12 month shorts.  We do have 12-18 month shorts (and lots of them), but he looks sort of silly in them because he’s got a long torso and shorter legs – so he needed new shorts.  We bought a few pair, put the cutest ones on him, and headed to the park.

We were at the park for almost 3 hours!  We spent half of that time going for a fast-paced walk in the new jogging stroller – listening to Glee the entire time on the sound system B came up with for our stroller.  M slept for 40 minutes of that walk.  Again, not a great nap, but whatever!  Why fret over a nap when the day was going so well?  We went swinging (him alone in the baby swing, and then with me in the adult swing), slid down a couple different slides, rode on a bouncy car, and looked through tunnels.  Oh so fun!  I sent a photo of our fun to B and he called and asked if he could come by since he was close – and of course he could!  We ended the park outing with a quick nursing in the front seat for all the world to see (because when your baby who refuses to nurse during the day asks to be fed, you do it right then and there!) before letting M drive us home  😉

We did go out to dinner (nothing new, right?) and M enjoyed his first patio meal before coming home to a house with no air conditioning again (what???).  But – who cares about the air conditioning, right?  Because we had the perfect day… together!

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Totally Worth It

We saw our RE today.  I really like our RE – he’s a great guy who mirrors his patients’ personalities.  If you’re the type like me who wants control, control, control – then he’ll do what he can to help you feel more in control.  He knows that I like information – ALL. OF. THE. INFORMATION.  He walks me through everything in great detail and leaves no stone unturned – and I really appreciate that.  If you are someone who prefers to be guided along gently (like B), then he gives you the high-level plan and no more unless you ask.  I find it amazing that he can handle our two personalities so differently, but in the very same appointment and meeting.  He’s very good!  You can see him switch his approach as he moves from talking to me, to talking to B, and back to me, etc.

So – we have resolution on when to do a FET for M’s sibling.  We are scheduled for August.  All I have to have done for pre-testing is a sonohysterogram.  No blood work – just the very uncomfortable sonohysterogram.  I can live with that (which is good because as my RE has said to me in the past, I don’t have a choice).  We talked about the impact of breastfeeding on the whole plan and equation and he told me today that we will do the sono after my first period after I stop nursing M and that it would take 4-6 weeks for that period to come.  OK – so if I stop nursing when M is 1 (in June), then we’ll be all set by August.  This is just terrific!

A side-note:  I think we may be finished nursing sooner than I thought – at least with daytime feeds.  M just is not interested in nursing during the day.  He putzes around and gets distracted.  I end up having to pump because he’s just not eating well during the day.  I think he may be weaning himself a bit.  He is also biting me – no fun.

I did ask what the odds are that the FET will work.  40%.  OK.  Prior to M, this number would have freaked me out but not this time.  I am no longer facing the possibility of being childless – and that removes lots of pressure and angst.  If the FET does not work, it sounds like he’ll want to do another fresh cycle since I’m getting old (my words, not his).  I’ll be 36 on Saturday and as he said, I’m getting into the “advanced maternal age” realm and he’d like to retrieve again sooner than later.  We have 7 frozen embryos so it sounds like plenty, but we will do what he advises.

My experience today was a total 180 from our first meeting with our RE as we kicked off treatments in 2009.  Back then, I cried at the drop of a hat.  I sobbed during our entire first consultation and couldn’t even talk at times.  Today, I spent tons of time laughing with our doctor, making fun of myself, and reminiscing on how much things have changed.  I was so looking forward to going in to see him and the rest of the crew today – it was like seeing a bunch of old friends.

My RE ended our chat by telling us that seeing us made his day.  Oh – that warmed my heart!  I trumped him, though, and said that our visit made my week.  BECAUSE IT DID!  It felt so good to see our old friends who gave us our precious boy, and to truly be able to look back on just how far we’ve come.  I used to say that I would never laugh at our infertile days – but I did laugh at them today – and I’ve laughed at them a lot lately.  Not because they’re funny, but because it’s so amazing to me that so much sadness, depression, and anxiety can be lifted almost instantly with that very first sound of your new baby’s first cry.

Here are some photos of that precious boy.  To steal a line from my favorite blogger of all time, this baby is “worth every jealous moment, every injection, every frustrating month of waiting, every awkward doctor and vag cam appointment.  Totally worth it.”

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I Celebrated with Cake

What a day!  M is still sick, but on the mend.  In the last 8 months, B and I have often asked, while changing a diaper, “do you think that’s diarrhea?”  Well – let me just say that now I KNOW what that looks like and we’ve been lucky enough to avoid it until now.  It was not a good morning, but the rest of the day made up for it.

"What, do my pants bother you? Well then change them!"

Because of the unpleasant diapers, I limited M’s food to just oatmeal today.  He was throwing up a bit yesterday too so I figured I’d give him something smooth and simple so that he could throw it up easily if needed.  He seemed to like the oatmeal quite a bit!

"I could live on this stuff!"

B is traveling for work but he got the baby gate installed before he left.  Thank goodness because this happened today:

"Maybe if I shake it, it will open..."

M took two super good naps – I believe because he was so tired from being sick.  I was watching him on the monitor as he tried to fall asleep and I got to see him trying to pull himself up in his crib for the first time.  I took the photo to send to B.  I shouldn’t have done that, because I think that B is probably losing sleep RIGHT NOW worrying about M launching himself over the side of the crib.  We’re nowhere near that yet – and will get the mattress lowered in a couple weeks (I’m insistent that we keep it where it is because this is a normal part of development which helps lead to walking).

"Are you watching me?"

My day ended with one happy baby:

And a mini cake:

Why the cake you ask?  WELL – this is the last mini cake from one of my baby showers last summer.  I’ve been saving it and I have not really been sure why.  Today, after so many nursings to keep M hydrated, countless diaper changes, and multiple close, warm snuggles, I was really feeling appreciative of this gift of a little boy that is in my life.  I am doing what I was born to do – what I worked so hard to do.  I think taking such vigilant care of him today made me really think back to what it took to get not just a baby – but to get HIM – and I wanted to celebrate that with cake!


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10

M is sick.  Not the teething kind – the real kind.  He’s had colds before, but this is different.  He’s had a fever (broken with some Tylenol), has lost his appetite, took a super long nap, and throws up quite a bit.  He’s not seeming dehydrated, but I’ve been feeding him quite a bit to make sure that doesn’t happen.  Amazingly though – he is still quite happy!  There are moments of instant tears for no reason (other than assuming he feels crappy), but for the most part, he’s been pretty content.

My nephew’s 10th birthday is tomorrow.  I cannot believe it!  He is the first grandchild on my side of the family and I was thinking today about the phone call I got when he was born.  It was so special and fun to be getting a nephew!  The name they chose for him was not on their list, so when my BIL told me his name, I was stunned and questioned back, “IAN?”  He thought I didn’t like it.  I loved it!  I still do – a lovely name for the first little boy who stole my heart!  Double digits for Ian – time flies by so quickly!

B is out of town until Thursday, so it’s just M and me for the next two days.  Is it selfish that I sort of love my time alone with him?  Seems kind of silly considering that I spend every single day with M – but I do love any extra one-on-one time that I get.  As I learned with Ian, babies grow all too quickly and M will be 10 before I know it!


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Random Updates

My “always happy” baby had a rough day.  We think M is teething again – he is just miserable.  I started a new fitness program today and was so excited to take him back to his old daycare for an hour while I worked out.  M is very social and LOVED daycare while he was there, and I was excited for him to see his old friends and have some fun interaction.  He was crying when I picked him up and that hurt my heart. We spent the day snuggling in the rocker, and strolling around the mall.

“Please get me some Advil!”

In other news, we now have a baby gate installed at the top of the stairs.  RELIEF!  We need to leave it open for the kitties to use their restroom downstairs, but we’ll close it when M is cruising around up here on the main floor.  Everyone (but the kitties) is happy about this.

I got the speaker for my jogging stroller just in time for our big stroller debut tomorrow!  Everything is all setup and ready to go – I just need to pump up the tires and we’re good to go!  I’ve got my MP3 player charging as I type so that we don’t run out of tunes tomorrow.

I bought M’s swimsuit today!  It was on sale so I bought the whole ensemble (trunks, top, hat, sandals).  It is very cute!  I am thinking of taking him swimming at the YMCA tomorrow afternoon.  We are signing up for “water babies” swimming lessons that start at the end of the month, so I want him to be comfortable with the pool before we start that.

I sort of made dinner tonight!  I bought a rotisserie chicken at the grocery store that was too dry (sorry, B!) and made fresh asparagus to go with it.  B decided we needed dessert so got out a leftover cupcake from our trip to Omaha yesterday.  It was divine!  M had stew, peas, and pears.  Oh – and Advil!


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8 Months Old – And the Nursery is Finally Done?!

M’s nursery was a labor of love involving a lot of people.  My mom made his bedding set and window treatments; my sister made his name sign; my mother-in-law bulked up his woodland stuffed animal collection; B insisted that I have a rocker; and many artists on Etsy did prints, decals, and the mobile for his room.  We did not want to go with a commercial theme or anything popular, and we wanted it to be gender neutral so that every child would use the same nursery.  It all started with a quilt and growth chart from Red Envelope that centered around woodland animals that I’d bought a year or so before we even started trying to get pregnant.  The finishing touches were the newborn photos taken by White Linen Photography.  We’ve had the photos framed for a long time, but they’ve moved from space to space until we could get them properly hung.

I’m so happy with how it all turned out!

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Four Generations

Today was a great day – we drove back to my hometown to see one of my mother’s greatest friends, and to stop in to see my grandpa.  I love my grandpa – he and I have always had a terrific relationship!  I can’t imagine going back to my hometown and not stopping in for a visit.  Grandpa loves, loves, loves babies so M’s visit with him today made Grandpa smile from ear to ear.  Heck, Grandpa’s probably still smiling right now!

My dad suggested we take a four generation photo.  I am so glad he did because we will treasure it forever!  We never did get one with my grandma, which makes me very sad.  She was always too sick for us to bring M by to see her before she passed away.  I need to let that go and just be thankful that I still can get photos with Grandpa  🙂


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Milestone

We hit a major milestone tonight.  We take M out to dinner on an almost nightly basis (remember, I cook for M but not for B – but that is going to change this week!) – and he sits through it like a trooper every night and eats his meal, plays with his toys, makes friends with strangers, etc.  He very rarely fusses and we are told quite regularly what a great, well-behaved baby he is out in public.  We could not agree more (and yes, we know we’re very lucky!). At lunch today, we were told that, “he’s a dandy!”  That tickled me!

We typically go to restaurants where you get one course and you’re out of there, just to play it safe and to not extend M past his limit.

Tonight?  Tonight we went out for a nice dinner.  B even got dressed up (and he looked terrific!).  We went out for a meal that consisted of three courses and M was his typical, normal, happy self.  All of this after very limited nap time today.  We arrived around 6:30 and left at 8:00.  Around 7:50, we had to take him out of his high chair so he could look around and flirt with more people – but he was not at all fussy.

I am so proud!  I have always wanted to have the kids who can sit through a meal and enjoy the family time.  I think we have one of those kids  🙂  I think it’s 50% luck (M is naturally very laid back) and 50% experience.  We’ve made this a priority since the day after he came home from the hospital, and I’m so glad we did!


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Complete

Our good friend, Denise, came by tonight to capture M’s bedtime routine.  It sure was fun!  He’s doing so many cute things between 6:00 and 8:00 at night.  He loves his bath, he’s trying new foods, he belly laughs at the cats playing together – it’s truly turned into the best time of the day.  We’ve learned from experience that just because he does something cute today, does not mean he’ll do it again tomorrow – or EVER again.  Therefore, we try to capture these things in photos and video right away in case he stops doing them.  Tonight was all about capturing his cuteness at bed time – and there was a lot of cuteness to capture!

Nights like these make me think about the future.  I think about having more kids, when we’ll have more kids, how that will affect M, how soon is too soon, etc.  I know I posted just last night about child spacing – but I am honest when I say this:  If this is it for us – if M is destined to be an only child – I am just fine with that.  He is such a dream come true, such a sweet baby who lights up every room he enters.  I surely want more kids for obvious reasons, but the main one is so M can be a big brother and have a sibling.

If another baby is not in the cards for us, that is OK – because we are complete with M!