All the Sun For You

A mom, two boys, a husband, and a whole lot of adventure!

Camping Out


I don’t even know how to start this post, and I wonder why I’m putting it out there in the first place.  But, this is part of my life and I need to say it because it’s my reality.

My aunt has lots of cancer.  My aunt, the one who has been so supportive of me and is the mother of my favorite cousin (SK who lived with us this summer, and she’s also Sam’s mom), looks to have liver, pancreatic, stomach, and bone metastatic lesions.  The clinical report was sent to the entire family and although it’s not conclusive, the oncologist is pretty sure he’s right and that this is not curable.  He does say, though, that it’s somewhat manageable.

I’m always a realist, but can usually snap into a hopeful mood about these types of things pretty quickly.  This time, I just can’t get there.  It’s just too close to Jenny dying, and my friend’s nephew dying, of cancer to feel all, “rah rah rah you’ll beat this.”

Because so far, the people I’ve known and loved with cancer recently… they haven’t beat it.  And in our family, on both my dad’s and mom’s side, no one has died of cancer.  We knew a time would come that our luck would run out, but this is rather shocking.  My aunt K is the youngest of 7, and she’s 10 years younger than my mom who is the 6th child.  When Sam was hurt this past summer, it was really hard because he was the youngest grandchild, everyone’s baby.  My aunt K is her siblings’ baby, and this is feeling like it just can’t be.

So… 2016 isn’t starting out so great.  We didn’t even get out of January without devastating news.

I feel like a serious weight is sitting on me.  Not resting briefly, but camping out.

Author: Courtney

Hi, there, I’m Courtney. I never planned to stay home with my kids, but I got sucked into motherhood when my first baby came into our lives after years of infertility and multiple rounds of IVF. His brother followed closely behind, something we didn’t plan on after having such a rough road with achieving parenthood the first time around. My boys are IVF cycle twins, conceived on the same day but born two years and one day apart (they were both transferred on the same day in October, but with two years between them). My boys are the best of friends and my husband is a terrific husband, father, and most importantly… friend. He fully supported my desire to stay home (“I just wanted it to be your idea and not mine, I totally want you to stay home and raise our kids!”) and encourages me in everything I do. I am a lover of projects, spreadsheets, fitness, healthy cooking and eating, crafts, selling my stuff on FB (HA!), and the outdoors. If I’m active, I’m pretty darn happy!

7 thoughts on “Camping Out

  1. I am so sorry! Sending you so much love right now. This is one of those moments where I hate that we know each other via blogs, I wish I could bring you a warm coffee and sit and cry with you.

  2. Oh no. I’m sorry that you’ve had such bad news and that you have this fear hanging over you. I don’t know any genetic relatives but I always wonder if it would be better or worse to know about family health issues. I’m sorry that 2016 has started in a not nice way for you. X

  3. I’m so sorry to hear this and it’s so hard to know what to say in these situations. Really crappy luck. Sending you a hug x

  4. So sorry to hear you have more bad news. I do hope that you get some good news sooner rather than later.

  5. Oh, Court, I am so so so sorry. I hope that the weight packs it in soon. I hope that maybe an actual management plan will help with that. I’ll be thinking of you and all the family.

    I hate that the year is off to this start. We had a shocking loss a couple weeks back and I couldn’t help but think, “Seriously, 2016? Really?! So you’re gonna be like that, huh?”

  6. Oh hon, i’m so far behind on blogs and just reading this. I’m so sorry to hear about your Aunt. This is how I felt 2 years ago when we lost 4 family members within a matter of months. It just weighs heavily on your heart and mind all the time. I pray you come out of this cycle soon. ❤

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