All the Sun For You

A mom, two boys, a husband, and a whole lot of adventure!

We Will Be There

19 Comments

I’ve kept something very close to the vest the last several months, because a good friend reads my blog. My good friend with 5 types of cancer. Our good friend who has fought, and fought, and fought for her life for 4 years.

Four years.

She and her husband moved away just before she was first diagnosed, so we’ve had to be supportive from afar. We get down to see them quite a bit, but not enough. It’s never enough.

She went into remission after year 1 and was told she could get pregnant. She did, right away, and at 4 months pregnant, her one cancer had turned into three. She had to get chemo while pregnant or she would have died. She pushed the cancer back, delivered her son, and moved on.

Then, she got a fourth cancer, the kind you may or may not survive. She kept fighting, getting into various trials that gave her more time. Then, she got a fifth cancer.

We’ve known since the second round of cancers that her chances were slim, but we kept our hopes up because she always seemed to get better. We knew she wouldn’t beat it 100%, but it seemed under control.

It’s no longer under control. Her husband called me a week ago to tell me that they’d stopped all treatments. We were brave, scheduled a visit for this weekend, and committed to me caring for her for two days next week. We held our breaths, hoping she’d make it past our visits.

Her dad called me tonight during dinner. She’s dying. There is no way around it, and to hear a father say, about his daughter who just turned 35 years old last week, “she may die tonight, maybe tomorrow, maybe the next day. It’s over.” Well… What do you even say? I stayed brave, offered our love and help, and told him we’d see him this weekend. Then, I hung up the phone and cried.

I don’t think I’ll see my friend alive again. I want her family – her sisters, parents, husband and son – to have privacy and every moment with her that they can. We are going to be the runners, the ones to keep everyone fed and caffeinated during this ordeal. We may play babysitters for their young son, or we may not. And we may not do anything because they may not want anything.

But we will be there.

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Author: Courtney

Hi, there, I’m Courtney. I never planned to stay home with my kids, but I got sucked into motherhood when my first baby came into our lives after years of infertility and multiple rounds of IVF. His brother followed closely behind, something we didn’t plan on after having such a rough road with achieving parenthood the first time around. My boys are IVF cycle twins, conceived on the same day but born two years and one day apart (they were both transferred on the same day in October, but with two years between them). My boys are the best of friends and my husband is a terrific husband, father, and most importantly… friend. He fully supported my desire to stay home (“I just wanted it to be your idea and not mine, I totally want you to stay home and raise our kids!”) and encourages me in everything I do. I am a lover of projects, spreadsheets, fitness, healthy cooking and eating, crafts, selling my stuff on FB (HA!), and the outdoors. If I’m active, I’m pretty darn happy!

19 thoughts on “We Will Be There

  1. This breaks my heart, praying for comfort for your friend and for her family and especially son.

  2. Abiding with you. {{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

  3. There are two posts this month that broke my heart with an audible and visible crack, because they come from people “I know”, you and Chon. They made me realise that 1. I will never be able to learn about a friend’s miscarriage without tearing up, no matter how past the ttc I may be, and how often I may have heard about the losses and IF woes, and 2. I will never be able to hear about young children being left without their mum without putting myself in those shoes, and cry.
    I am heartbroken for you, your friend, and her family. It is one of the most awful situations in life, when people go before their time, and leave such unfillable holes behind. Life will go on, her family will continue carrying on, because what else there is to do, but oh, man, the sorrow of living with all that “what could have been”… Life is too often much too cruel.
    Take care of you and yours. Sending you my best.

  4. I’m so so sorry, Courtney. I’ll be thinking of you and family, and also of your friend and her family. Many hugs.

  5. That is so very sad. I’m sorry.

  6. I am so incredibly sorry. My heart breaks for your friend, her family and you too of course.
    Going, showing your love and being a runner is so very kind of you. Wishing you strength throughout the visit.

  7. I’m sobbing. So so sorry… for you, your friend and her family/friends left behind, especially her little boy. I can’t even imagine the pain you are all going through right now. I will be thinking of your friend in her final moments/days, as well as you and your family. Big big hugs.

  8. I’m so so sorry. Just reading this, about a complete stranger, makes my heart break. Good for you guys to be there in whatever way is needed. I’m sure it is appreciated, no matter how small it feels, because so many people just can’t handle the pain and back away.

  9. I’m so sorry. You guys are doing the right thing. Strength to all of you.

  10. I really struggled to read and comment on this. I am a little overwhelmed by all the bad things that are going on right now in our collective lives and people we know. It’s going to be really hard but you are doing all the right things. The most important thing is to keep her memory alive for everyone else so she will never be forgotten. And i have every faith that you will do just that. Love you xx

  11. So sorry to hear this xx

  12. Pingback: Advent Ornament Project – December 16 and 17 | All the Sun For You

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