… There will be no reconsiderations on the size of our family.
I had my annual appointment with Dr. H two weeks ago. He asked where we were on family planning, I told him about our recent decision to stop at 2 kids, he talked about wishing he’d had a third but that two is easier, and then we talked about my uterus. He said that between my post-delivery appointment last August and now, he’s “lost two kids to that.” I asked, “a uterine window?” and he said, “I don’t think you understand what you had.
He explained it quite frankly. That what I had (uterine window) was simply a pre-rupture – that given its location, size, and the size of Bryson, that even minor laboring would have caused a rupture of “catastrophic proportions.” The uterine window is what happens just before a rupture – it’s all that’s there keeping the baby in the uterus and it’s only a very thin, clear membrane that is incredibly fragile. He said that if we chose to have a third baby, that it must be a singleton (“MUST”) and that he’d deliver at 36 weeks to reduce my risk, “but I lost one of those babies at 22 weeks and the other at 34 weeks – a planned 36 week delivery wouldn’t have saved them.” My chances of having another uterine window are between 40% and 50%.
So we’re really done.
Hottie asked, “did you ask Dr. H if he would have let M (his wife) have another baby if she’d had the same thing?” I said I didn’t ask because it was obvious – he would not have. They stopped at 2 because of their first pregnancy being septic and the second one having a health risk to the baby (but she was fine). As he said, “having a third would have been playing with fire.” That’s how we feel too.
I walked out of there a little sad. A little relieved. A little devastated. A little at peace.
I mean, there is something to be said for knowing you’re done because you just shouldn’t have more. We have a very good medical reason to stop, and we’re taking it seriously… so that’s it… we’re done.