We’ve been using babysitters a lot more lately, which introduces teenage girl craziness into our all-boy lives. We have neighbors who have 3 girls (16, 13, and 10) who are wonderful with the boys, so we try to get one of the older girls once a month or more. Of the 4 times we’ve booked, they’ve cancelled twice and got confused on another time. Teenagers! So when the 13 year old and I were trying to figure out just when she could come, I was working another babysitting angle to ensure that Hottie and I could get out sans kids this weekend.
At right about the same moment, both sitters said they could come. One on Thursday, one on Friday. I booked them both!
Hottie and I went on a much-needed date last night and before the sitter arrived, Hottie kept asking, “is she here yet?” We both needed the break (and the boys were having a GREAT day… We just wanted to be alone together!).
We talked to each other, we listened, we laughed, and I cried. I cried over our embryos (I sometimes wonder late at night if they feel cold in the freezer) and our departed Lily Cat. We talked about the boys and how similar, and different, they are. We talked about where to vacation this winter, and we talked about where to go on our date the next night.
I’m not sure where we’re headed tonight, but I told Hottie there would be no tears. No embryo or Lily talk.
Just happy thoughts tonight!
All the Sun For You 
November 14, 2014 at 2:26 pm
Oh have fun! We have a date tonight! It’s so important! And it’s hard to not get upset when you finally get to TALK but tonight is just got fun yeah? X
November 14, 2014 at 11:22 pm
I hope you had a WONDERFUL time on your date!
There were no tears tonight… I did get choked up at one point but it was over something happy, so that’s good!
November 14, 2014 at 3:07 pm
I remember a colleague and now good friend of mine say right after her divorce to her husband of over 20 years, that her only piece of advice to me is to have weekly date nights. Her friends who made an effort to spend time with each other once a week, without the kids, are the ones who have stayed married. I’m not sure if it’s really that simple, but her comment really resonated with me. And while we don’t have children yet, we make sure to always have an evening together at least once a week (but usually more – it’s easy without kids).
Have a wonderful date night!
November 14, 2014 at 11:26 pm
Thank you!
I think it CAN really be this easy, honestly. You need to stay connected, and when you don’t spend even one night a week connecting, things can slip. We work hard at connecting on a regular basis, even if just at the dining table after the kids are in bed. We do slip every now and again, and we both can feel it – we both can feel the tension build and build.
I think it’s great that your friend was so frank with you… great advice! Especially when going through IF, RPL, etc. when things are all-consuming if you let them be (like I did for 2.25 years).
November 15, 2014 at 12:58 pm
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts as well. I think you and her are onto something – stay connected and keep the love alive. 🙂
I think part of why I am so excited about adoption is to stop living in the all-consuming RPL / IF world – It’s been a long 2.5 years and we are so ready to stop living this lifestyle and start focusing on hope and the future again. 🙂
November 14, 2014 at 5:39 pm
Jealous! I can’t wait until the day I find/have a babysitter! My in laws are moving to town next summer and I think we will be taking advantage!
November 14, 2014 at 11:26 pm
Take full advantage!