Confession Time

April 5, 2014 by Courtney 7 Comments

I’ve (we’ve) had a rough week. Every one of us is sick and “for the first time in forever,” I am the sickest of the lot. Followed closely by Bryson. If he’s not up needing me, I’m hacking my lungs out… Not sleeping. I’ve been a real bitch to B, picking at every.single.thing he does, leaving no room for him to even try to like me.

Last night, at 4:30, I lost it. Big ugly sobs as Bryson screamed in bed (I’d nursed him just 2 hours earlier) and I raced to the bathroom to hack up the shit in my lungs and blow the other shit out of my nose (and ears… OMG my poor aching ears). Nursing moms can’t take much of anything for a cold, so I’m just left to suffer.

Today, the boys let me sleep in (8:45, nothing glamorous!) and I called a cease fire with B. I told him I’m done waging war against him. I made some good points yesterday, but so did he (like that my friends’ troubled marriages are making me look for issues in him and us). It’s time to get a grip and stop.

So I’m stopping today.

I swear it.

Author: Courtney

Hi, there, I’m Courtney. I never planned to stay home with my kids, but I got sucked into motherhood when my first baby came into our lives after years of infertility and multiple rounds of IVF. His brother followed closely behind, something we didn’t plan on after having such a rough road with achieving parenthood the first time around. My boys are IVF cycle twins, conceived on the same day but born two years and one day apart (they were both transferred on the same day in October, but with two years between them). My boys are the best of friends and my husband is a terrific husband, father, and most importantly… friend. He fully supported my desire to stay home (“I just wanted it to be your idea and not mine, I totally want you to stay home and raise our kids!”) and encourages me in everything I do. I am a lover of projects, spreadsheets, fitness, healthy cooking and eating, crafts, selling my stuff on FB (HA!), and the outdoors. If I’m active, I’m pretty darn happy!

7 thoughts on “Confession Time”

amh! omg!
April 6, 2014 at 5:43 am

Sorry to hear you’re feeling rubbish. I got sick recently, my ears were really sore. I took paracetamol regularly and if you mix up honey and juice of lemon and hot water it can be some relief. I hope it passes soon as it can make you feel so miserable.

J o s e y
April 6, 2014 at 1:17 pm

Ugh, good luck. It’s so hard for me to be pleasant to Char when I’m sick because the demands of the kids don’t stop and he doesn’t seem to pick up the slack. I hope you’re feeling better today.

waterbelle44
April 6, 2014 at 7:08 pm

It’s so hard – they’re just always around and always the perfect person to be snappy with, because they’re just there and you know they love you. I think a lot of us identify with this. I hope you’re feeling better soon.

Esperanza
April 7, 2014 at 1:21 am

I’m so sorry you all’ve been sick. That is so hard. When Monito first came home, we were all sick a lot of the first months. I thought I was going to lose my mind. I think I did a few times. I hope you all feel better soon, and that you stay better for the spring, summer and fall.

Fiona
April 7, 2014 at 8:52 am

Gosh, it sounds like an awful time. Sorry you have been so sick… and that everyone else has too! 😦 That makes it really hard. It is especially hard to be nice to our husbands during those times, so good for you for writing this and for at least trying to do better with that. I hope that you all feel better VERY soon.

Em
April 7, 2014 at 9:09 am

Oh man, that’s so tough. I had a sinus infection/ear infection a couple weeks ago and it was miserable for the same reasons you said – can’t take anything for it. It’s not easy to be sick and be a mom…especially when you and your partner aren’t on the same page. Definitely been there recently too. Hoping that things start looking up soon.

mellowinthemidwest
April 14, 2014 at 9:16 am

I’m so sorry it was a rough week 😦 hoping this week is off to a better start and you all are feeling better.