All the Sun For You

A mom, two boys, a husband, and a whole lot of adventure!



I was chatting via text with my cousin tonight. She checked in to see how I’m doing with B out of town. She’s a great gal, a wonderful relative to have in my life!

We had a rough evening here in our house – we’re having an ice storm so we couldn’t get out. If you know anything about me, you know I MUST GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! So we were homebound and getting a bit bored with each other. Matthew and I made another batch of pouches together, which was super fun, and I ordered pizza. Everyone was really good, but Matthew is now obsessed with playing with the water. He’ll pull a foot stool up to the sink and turn it on, filling up cups, bowls, whatever. That’s all well and good when I’m there, but if I’m not there, he can get it too hot. He kept doing it.. over and over and over even though I said to stop. I yelled a bit.

Then he took his foot stool to the counter where I had the setup and started playing with the knife block. Another raised voice from me.

Then I slipped on the ice and fell hard when bringing the garbage cans in – it’s going to hurt tomorrow.

Then Matthew wouldn’t stay in bed.


I did end the bedtime escapes very patiently and lovingly, but I was at my rope’s end.

Not to mention I tried to get Bryson to sleep in his crib, and all that got me was the two of us in tears together, with me holding him so tightly that it was hard to put him down. I am such a wimp! I couldn’t stand his crying after 20 minutes and I couldn’t get in there fast enough to spring him out of his little jail. I was heartbroken (as was he).

So my cousin and I were texting and I said something that just says it all. The best way to describe how I feel right now is this: I can feel the patience leaving my body, from my stomach and back, through my neck, my arms, and out my fingertips. I could literally feel the patience leaving my body through my fingertips.

I am so ready for B to come home. I am ready to get some sleep. I am ready for my play day on Saturday. I am ready for some help. We are all so done and bored with each other, and we need a changing of the guard.

Author: Courtney

Hi, there, I’m Courtney. I never planned to stay home with my kids, but I got sucked into motherhood when my first baby came into our lives after years of infertility and multiple rounds of IVF. His brother followed closely behind, something we didn’t plan on after having such a rough road with achieving parenthood the first time around. My boys are IVF cycle twins, conceived on the same day but born two years and one day apart (they were both transferred on the same day in October, but with two years between them). My boys are the best of friends and my husband is a terrific husband, father, and most importantly… friend. He fully supported my desire to stay home (“I just wanted it to be your idea and not mine, I totally want you to stay home and raise our kids!”) and encourages me in everything I do. I am a lover of projects, spreadsheets, fitness, healthy cooking and eating, crafts, selling my stuff on FB (HA!), and the outdoors. If I’m active, I’m pretty darn happy!

3 thoughts on “Fingertips

  1. You do a fantastic job being a “single mom” to those to boys when B is away! I can only imagine how it would feel after a long week at home alone and then to top it off with crappy weather at the end keeping you home bound, but I still think you’re wonderful. I’m so sorry to hear it’s been quite the challenge to get Bryson to sleep in his crib. 😦 That is not easy to end your day hearing one of your babies cry, especially when they get so worked up that you have to start from square one all over again. I don’t have any knowledge of this, but have you checked to see if he has reflux or something along those lines and that’s why he doesn’t like to lay flat? (Or does he sleep just fine in your bed?) He sure looks cute and comfy in his little rocker though. I hope B makes it home safe today and just think, only one more sleep until your free day tomorrow!!

  2. I can only imagine how you are feeling at this point. I think anyone would be at that point. You have done an amazing job and deserve to have one heck of a great Saturday fun day! 🙂 So glad B will be home very very soon and you will get that help you need and a bit of a break too.

  3. My husband was gone to CA all week for work, and I was home with the toddler and three week old. Thank goodness My sister came to stay or I would have fallen apart completely. You are a queen for making bit through alone!

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