All the Sun For You

A mom, two boys, a husband, and a whole lot of adventure!

A Milestone, and a Rant

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I forgot to document a milestone for Bryson… And what good is my blog if I don’t document the important things (because I don’t keep baby books)?

Bryson is sitting up, unassisted without props of any kind, and has since Sunday (11/10). He actually did it a week or so earlier than that during family photos, but we didn’t push it so I didn’t count it. I only count milestones when they’re really being done. He can’t roll over yet – he has no interest in moving, just like his brother 2 years ago – but he’s sitting up like a big boy. I remember asking the doctor last time if it was ok that Matthew was sitting but not rolling over, and she said of course it is because sitting is a more advanced accomplishment. Who knew? So this time, I’m not concerned.

Which brings me to a parenting realization. I just don’t care this time around when things will happen, because I know they will happen. Matthew sat up (early) before he rolled over, he crawled early, walked early, etc. If I had not listened to that doctor two years ago, I probably would have gotten caught up in his inability to roll (or lack of interest in rolling) and not helped him move on to other things. He did roll over, eventually (but I never even wrote down the date of when he did).

I haven’t worked too much on rolling with Bryson, and he’s still sleeping in the rock and play (but must get out of it this weekend since he can sit up now, and topple out, I suppose) which means he can’t roll even unintentionally in the night. Sure, I’m trying to give Bryson space and time to try to roll, but let’s face it – that’s hard to do with an active 2 year old this time around. The minute Bryson is on the floor, Matthew is beside him playing with and entertaining him. Forget putting toys out of his reach to encourage movement, because Matthew will just happily hand them to him. Bryson doesn’t have to roll to get to things – he has his big brother to get things for him 🙂

And the bottom line is – he’ll do it eventually. When he wants to.

I am a bit irritated with other mothers at the moment in regards to new milestones. Some of them have older kids who are rolling like champs but not sitting up yet. Mind you – Bryson is sitting rather early, so it’s not like their kids are even behind at all, but it seems to be an irritant. I very openly talk about Bryson not rolling over and about Matthew’s speech, with no excuses or explanations because there aren’t any, because things just are what they are. These other moms (and their friends) tell me that Bryson is sitting up because he’s so chunky and has a broader base. No, that’s actually NOT why. Matthew sat just two weeks later than Bryson and he was much thinner. In the next breath, these moms will tell me that he isn’t rolling because he’s too chunky. So which one is it – is he too chunky to do things, or does his chunk help him? You can’t have it both ways. It doesn’t even matter because they’re wrong given that Matthew was the exact same way and thinner.

Why are parents so catty? I don’t get wrapped up in it, and I don’t even correct them because who really cares? But it pisses me off. I thought we were all beyond whose kids do what and when, but apparently it starts over with baby #2. Unreal. All of this because I posted a picture on FB so my mom, who never sees my kids, could see that he’s sitting up. I never mentioned it to the other moms – I just posted the picture on FB to share it with my family. These moms took it upon themselves to bring it up, and then say that it’s because my kid is a chunk and their kid is thin. Do they know how ridiculous they sound?

I chalk it up to an age thing (I’m old and they’re quite a bit younger), but I don’t think it’s that simple. But whatever! I know we’re all defensive of our kids, I just wish some moms weren’t defensive by being offensive to others. GAH!

So yeah, Bryson is sitting up… on the floor, on the bed, in his brother’s chair, in high chairs at restaurants (huzzah!), EVERYWHERE without my help. It’s very freeing for me because it makes him so happy to be upright. When nothing will calm him down, I can set him in Matthew’s chair and (gasp!) walk away. I know this is going to bite me in the ass, but so far, there have been no injuries. I’m sure we’ll have more injuries once he’s rolling and I forget and leave him on the bed. HA!

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Author: Courtney

Hi, there, I’m Courtney. I never planned to stay home with my kids, but I got sucked into motherhood when my first baby came into our lives after years of infertility and multiple rounds of IVF. His brother followed closely behind, something we didn’t plan on after having such a rough road with achieving parenthood the first time around. My boys are IVF cycle twins, conceived on the same day but born two years and one day apart (they were both transferred on the same day in October, but with two years between them). My boys are the best of friends and my husband is a terrific husband, father, and most importantly… friend. He fully supported my desire to stay home (“I just wanted it to be your idea and not mine, I totally want you to stay home and raise our kids!”) and encourages me in everything I do. I am a lover of projects, spreadsheets, fitness, healthy cooking and eating, crafts, selling my stuff on FB (HA!), and the outdoors. If I’m active, I’m pretty darn happy!

14 thoughts on “A Milestone, and a Rant

  1. Ya, that comparison shit drives me nuts too. Stella was NEVER a roller. I could count on one hand the # of times she rolled EVER. She also sat pretty early, but I just figured it was a combo of cloth diaper + core strength + hatred of being on her back and not being able to see anything so she was DETERMINED to sit up. In reality – who knows why she sat early? And like you said, it really doesn’t matter!

    At any rate, way to go Bryson!! 🙂

    • Yeah, Matthew didn’t roll much either when he did finally figure it out. Bryson still has no interest – a week later. He’s happy to just sit up or be in his jumper. All I care about is that he’s happy doing whatever it is he’s doing!

  2. Molly could not roll from front to back forever! Like B she was sitting unassisted before she could roll. Other parents are morons. Our board became so competitive I left so now when Molly does things I think she’s a genius. As to chunky vs skinny Molly was on the 3rd percentile so that bitch can kiss it 😉

  3. Oh man, that is ridiculous!! Sorry that others’ sillly comments are getting you down. That is one cute bebe you have there! And so cool that he is sitting – maybe it will mean the boys will play more independently together!

  4. He looks so happy!!!!!! Avery was the same way, once she could sit and move ,she was much happier!!!!!

    Ugh, honestly, I tend to not spend a ton of time with women because they can be so backhanded and ain’t nobody got time for that!

    When I did spend time with them, I would actually play up the fact that Avery was behind in speech, because she was so physically advanced. Seriously, I would downgrade my kid to make them feel better about theirs. So now, I just work really hard not to compare and if someone else chooses to do so, that’s their problem.

    And I don’t know that I have ever heard anything more ignorant than your baby can sit upright so early because he has a wider base. So dumb.

    • Yes! I have played up Matthew’s weaknesses since day 1 because he was so physically advanced at gymnastics and the like. I want to say whatever I can to make everyone feel like their kids are normal. Why would anyone want to make someone feel bad about their kids?!

  5. I’m way more laid about about milestones this time around too. I know that Callen will do things on his own time frame. It’s defenately a “pissing contest” with different parents to see whose kid is more advanced, etc. Sad, but true. Oh, by the way, I got Aiden tested for speech this last week. The therapist told me that he speaks extremely fast and that although he doesn’t qualify for services yet, that there are several strategies we need to be working on so that his articulation improves. I’m relieved and honestly, I would have been the same way as you are, I’d still talk about any speech problem Aiden had with anyone..it is what it is right?!
    Bryson is so sweet, he’s sitting up because he’s ready…not because of having a wider base. Idiot 🙂

    • Matthew’s articulation is not good, but both therapists say it’s normal. I would like him to speak more clearly, but let’s face it – I’m just thrilled that he’s speaking more and more every day! Aiden is a good little talker – he’s always been chatty!

  6. I would say I’m more laid back this time too, but I do compare D’s milestones to C’s. Really the only one he’s hit so far is rolling back to front which I was just sure he was going to do before her…but nope! He did it after. After reading your post I realize that I jump into conversations like that with other moms when talking about our kids’ accomplishments, but don’t mean it as a contest, just it is what it is. I imagine though the comments you are referring to, didn’t come off so innocent though and that can get annoying.

    I think he looks adorable sitting up! One of my favorite pics of C from when she was a baby is the first pic I took of her sitting up, and I can’t wait until I can take a pic of D doing it too! 🙂

    • I totally compare my boys’ milestones, especially since they’re just a day apart in age (that makes it very easy). I can’t believe I didn’t document when Matthew finally did roll over. I know it was probably when he was 23 weeks or so because he was trying at 19 weeks when he left day care, and it still took several weeks for him to do it. Bryson isn’t trying. He’s so laid back!

      I jump into those conversations too, but only offer up my kids’ accomplishments if someone asks. I usually jump in to ask if what my kid is doing (or rather, not doing) is normal.

  7. He’s so stinkin cute i just want to cuddle him! Go Bryson!

    L was pretty early with everything, so I am afraid I’ll be comparing Kate all the time. They all do things in their own time.

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