I win.
I worked hard for this win.
Lots of tears and raised voices from us both.
I should feel victorious and be resting.
But all I feel is guilt.
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Hi, there, I’m Courtney. I never planned to stay home with my kids, but I got sucked into motherhood when my first baby came into our lives after years of infertility and multiple rounds of IVF. His brother followed closely behind, something we didn’t plan on after having such a rough road with achieving parenthood the first time around. My boys are IVF cycle twins, conceived on the same day but born two years and one day apart (they were both transferred on the same day in October, but with two years between them). My boys are the best of friends and my husband is a terrific husband, father, and most importantly… friend. He fully supported my desire to stay home (“I just wanted it to be your idea and not mine, I totally want you to stay home and raise our kids!”) and encourages me in everything I do.
I am a lover of projects, spreadsheets, fitness, healthy cooking and eating, crafts, selling my stuff on FB (HA!), and the outdoors. If I’m active, I’m pretty darn happy!
All the Sun For You 
September 19, 2013 at 2:34 pm
I feel this too after a particularly rough day when I look at the monitor and see Chloe so peaceful in her sleep. Sorry it was hard to get to that place, and maybe not one of your finer moments, but we all have them. Hope you both are rejuvenated once he wakes up.
PS – time to update your author paragraph! You are now mom to M AND B! 🙂
September 19, 2013 at 4:05 pm
Ha ha you are right!
Sent from my Windows Phone ________________________________
September 20, 2013 at 4:09 pm
I just got my profile updated. Thanks for the prompt!
September 19, 2013 at 8:27 pm
nap time today was super rough for me and Raegan too. It was actually really awful. 25 minutes in she pooped and woke herself up. Then wouldn’t settle down again. Jumped on my belly and hit me in the head twice. I lost it. I took her back to her crib, and threw the blanket over her and yelled, GO TO SLEEP! I stormed out and closed her door then closed the door to my room and did my best to ignore her screams. She eventually fell asleep again and thankfully so did I which I know was part of my problem. But it was so awful and I felt horrible, actually crying myself to sleep. 😦 But we both woke up with new attitudes and feeling much better. You’re not alone with bad days… HUGS lady!!
September 20, 2013 at 4:10 pm
I’m sorry it was hard for you too. I know how it feels to be hit by your child – HOLY HELL DO I KNOW!
I love how we all forgive each other in our sleep. That’s a true gift!
September 19, 2013 at 9:43 pm
😦 I know the feeling… hope you aren’t feeling guilty anymore though. You absolutely should not. We all have rough days and rough bedtimes. And look at him now? Sleeping so peaceful. He has certainly forgotten any shouting and tears, so you should too, and just enjoy the peace 🙂 Hugs!
September 20, 2013 at 4:11 pm
Thank you, Fiona. You always know just what to say!
September 20, 2013 at 2:13 am
You BOTH win. Seriously. I know sometimes it seems like we’re forcing them to do things against their wishes, but the truth is that sometimes mom really DOES know best. And getting him to nap in his big bed is a good thing for him. So win-win!
September 20, 2013 at 4:14 pm
He wasn’t in his own bd. That was the crib. GAH!
As you know, today was even worse. I’m going to just let him nap in our room now. He woke up so happy just now!