I had my 6-week post delivery check-up with Dr. H. today. B joined me because we had a very important thing to discuss – the possibility (or not) of having a third child.
When Bryson was delivered via scheduled C-section 6 weeks ago, Dr. O found a uterine window. I wrote about that at length in Bryson’s birth story.
B was of the mind that we were done building our family after discussions with two of the practice’s OB’s who made this sound like a big deal. Be aware that neither OB told us NOT to have a third child, but they both stressed the seriousness of the uterine window had I gone into labor at all (prior to our scheduled C-section or during a VBAC delivery). The scenarios they discussed with us scared us both, but really got to B. However, B said that we would decide if a third baby was a possibility after talking with Dr. H.
Dr. H said that yes – going into labor would have been “a disaster” this time around not knowing that the window was there. He confirmed that I would have definitely had a rupture given the location and size of the window and that it very easily could have happened at home had I labored prior to our planned C-section. He confirmed that yes – ruptures are often times catastrophic and that 20% of ruptures result in dead or brain-damaged babies.
But he also said that the uterine window is no reason to avoid a third pregnancy. He stressed that he is very conservative and sees no reason to tell us to stop – but that we should stop at 3 (which is great because we don’t want 4!).
B asked all sorts of questions about risks to the baby and to me, how we would handle a third pregnancy, etc. He asked more questions than I did, which surprised me because we had not even talked about a third child since we came home from the hospital. I honestly thought that in his mind – we were done. His questions made me wonder if he was open to a third.
After the appointment, I went to get Matthew and told our neighbor that I thought that B may be open to third – and I was so thrilled to say it out loud! I then thought, “I better ask B before I get my hopes up.”
I asked him tonight at dinner – and he said, “I am open to a third. But let’s talk about it next year because things are hectic right now and we need to forget how hard things are before deciding.” Such an honest answer! And he’s right – things are hectic right now. Bryson likes to be held ALL THE TIME (and that’s not really fair to say, because he’s spent probably 2-3 hours of awake time not in our arms today – but that doesn’t mean he liked it!) and he is quite fussy. Matthew is growing tired of the fussiness and is becoming quite irritable himself by the end of the day. We need to trudge through this time and forget about it – so that we can get excited about the possibility of another baby. With that said, however, we did muse a little tonight about having three boys or having a girl next (and the types of big brothers Matthew and Bryson would be to her).
But we need to get through this time… we need to get through it… and we will get through it. (I feel like we’re almost through it now because Bryson gets better every day.)
But… my hopes are up. If we’re open to it now, when things are hard, then I have to imagine we’ll give it a go. We believe in giving as many of our embryos as possible a chance at becoming babies. The issue we’ll be up against is whether or not our 5 frozen embryos will give us another baby – because we will not do another full cycle. Those days are behind us.
We have 5 tiny chances at a third baby.
My hopes are up! (I already said that, didn’t I?)