I had my 6-week post delivery check-up with Dr. H. today. B joined me because we had a very important thing to discuss – the possibility (or not) of having a third child.
When Bryson was delivered via scheduled C-section 6 weeks ago, Dr. O found a uterine window. I wrote about that at length in Bryson’s birth story.
B was of the mind that we were done building our family after discussions with two of the practice’s OB’s who made this sound like a big deal. Be aware that neither OB told us NOT to have a third child, but they both stressed the seriousness of the uterine window had I gone into labor at all (prior to our scheduled C-section or during a VBAC delivery). The scenarios they discussed with us scared us both, but really got to B. However, B said that we would decide if a third baby was a possibility after talking with Dr. H.
Dr. H said that yes – going into labor would have been “a disaster” this time around not knowing that the window was there. He confirmed that I would have definitely had a rupture given the location and size of the window and that it very easily could have happened at home had I labored prior to our planned C-section. He confirmed that yes – ruptures are often times catastrophic and that 20% of ruptures result in dead or brain-damaged babies.
But he also said that the uterine window is no reason to avoid a third pregnancy. He stressed that he is very conservative and sees no reason to tell us to stop – but that we should stop at 3 (which is great because we don’t want 4!).
B asked all sorts of questions about risks to the baby and to me, how we would handle a third pregnancy, etc. He asked more questions than I did, which surprised me because we had not even talked about a third child since we came home from the hospital. I honestly thought that in his mind – we were done. His questions made me wonder if he was open to a third.
After the appointment, I went to get Matthew and told our neighbor that I thought that B may be open to third – and I was so thrilled to say it out loud! I then thought, “I better ask B before I get my hopes up.”
I asked him tonight at dinner – and he said, “I am open to a third. But let’s talk about it next year because things are hectic right now and we need to forget how hard things are before deciding.” Such an honest answer! And he’s right – things are hectic right now. Bryson likes to be held ALL THE TIME (and that’s not really fair to say, because he’s spent probably 2-3 hours of awake time not in our arms today – but that doesn’t mean he liked it!) and he is quite fussy. Matthew is growing tired of the fussiness and is becoming quite irritable himself by the end of the day. We need to trudge through this time and forget about it – so that we can get excited about the possibility of another baby. With that said, however, we did muse a little tonight about having three boys or having a girl next (and the types of big brothers Matthew and Bryson would be to her).
But we need to get through this time… we need to get through it… and we will get through it. (I feel like we’re almost through it now because Bryson gets better every day.)
But… my hopes are up. If we’re open to it now, when things are hard, then I have to imagine we’ll give it a go. We believe in giving as many of our embryos as possible a chance at becoming babies. The issue we’ll be up against is whether or not our 5 frozen embryos will give us another baby – because we will not do another full cycle. Those days are behind us.
We have 5 tiny chances at a third baby.
My hopes are up! (I already said that, didn’t I?)
August 5, 2013 at 10:48 pm
Oh that is a little bit exciting 🙂 I am glad there is no permanent damage and that the window of opportunity is still there x
August 6, 2013 at 12:43 am
What wonderful news! I’m so glad you have the chance to have a third baby and that both of you are on board. That is awesome. I think that if you’re even considering it while in the thick of having a toddler and a newborn, you’ll both be ready when the time comes. I’ve hear having a third is a WAY easier transition than having a second, and you seem to be rocking that! Yay for having your hopes up! That is awesome!
August 6, 2013 at 7:57 am
LOL, my parents said the transition to 3 was way harder, b/c suddenly the parents are outnumbered! 🙂
Agreed – so glad that it seems that the chance to have a 3rd is open to you now. Yay!!!
August 6, 2013 at 3:04 pm
That is such great news! 🙂
August 6, 2013 at 9:07 pm
Aww this is such a great news… no matter what you and B decide.. it is good to know that the option is up to both of you and not your body calling all the shots. So happy for you! 🙂
August 6, 2013 at 9:50 pm
I love that the appointment went well and you guys are considering a #3. You both are such great parents and it’s good that your OB was able to address B’s concerns and put you both at ease. 🙂
August 7, 2013 at 5:15 am
This is such great news. I’m glad that the decision is yours to be made, whatever you should decide. Having the decision taken out of your hands somehow echos of all the emotions we go through with infertility. I’m glad that your hopes are up!!
August 8, 2013 at 11:36 am
very exciting that there is a possibility for a no 3 if you guys decide to!
August 25, 2013 at 8:23 pm
Five frozen embryos…that is such a great number. How wonderful that you have them ready and waiting. I sure hope that your family becomes exactly what you want it to be size-wise.