All the Sun For You

A mom, two boys, a husband, and a whole lot of adventure!

Finding Himself (AKA Major Defiance)


It’s only 2:50 and it’s been a day.  Matthew is teething like crazy – drool down his shirt constantly, fussy tantrums at the drop of a hat, refusal to eat food that isn’t super soft.  We had a rather fussy weekend and we weren’t sure if it was just him getting to know himself more (that’s my nice way of saying, becoming defiant) or if it was his teeth.

It’s both.

Matthew is in pain – that is clear.  I can see his canine teeth on both the top and bottom trying to come through, and I can’t imagine how awful that feels.  I try not to medicate him during the day – I’d rather not if he can get through it.  Today though?  I dosed him at 12:00 so it would be nice and soaked into his system by 1:00.  I delayed his nap a while because he FINALLY stopped crying and settled down to CG back in our bedroom while I ate pizza.  YES – it’s that bad of a day that I ate PIZZA for god’s sake.  In my defense (is there really a defense for such an offense?), I have wanted pizza for weeks now and it just had to be done – so why not on a day when it would feel like a justified reward?

It was good.  And worth it.  (So was the Diet Pe.psi!)

We learned over the weekend what Matthew’s new favorite thing IN.THE.WHOLE.WORLD is and it’s causing quite a problem for us.  Twice now, we’ve let him ride in my lap just a block from the neighbors’ to our house, and he loves this beyond belief.  Now he wants to get in the front seat all the time.  If you take him out to the car to load him up, he throws an absolute fit if he can’t sit in the front seat first and push some buttons.  This happens at home, at the grocery store, EVERYWHERE.

I let him knock himself out yesterday while B talked with our neighbor out front.  Matthew found the buttons to open the garage doors and turn on the dome lights.  This kept him busy for a long time and resulted in a major fit when the time came to load him up in his seat.  He freaked out again when we were coming home from our friends’ house.  And last night, B took him out to the garage just to play in the car because he wanted him to have something fun to do.  This resulted in a colossal melt down when they came back in the house.

I felt so bad for Matthew and his teeth today that I let him play in the front seat after we came home from Tar.get.  He hated being in his car seat, in the cart, and back in his car seat so I thought I’d give him something fun to do.  Did I NOT learn from B’s experience last night?  Apparently not.  While playing, he was at his happiest.  Upon coming inside, he had a melt down of mammoth proportions.

So teeth or “finding himself?”  I think we’re dealing a bit more with “finding himself” than teeth right now, but I’ll continue to blame it on teething in hopes that this phase quickly disappears.  I don’t know how much more I can take.  His fits just make me so sad and all I want to do is hug him and make it all better, but I can’t do that.  I need to set and stick to boundaries.  It’s killing me.

This is hard stuff.  Staying home is great and all, but it’s not always a picnic!  Some days are really hard to get through lately and I just wish his damned teeth would pop through so that we can put THAT behind us for now.

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Author: Courtney

Hi, there, I’m Courtney. I never planned to stay home with my kids, but I got sucked into motherhood when my first baby came into our lives after years of infertility and multiple rounds of IVF. His brother followed closely behind, something we didn’t plan on after having such a rough road with achieving parenthood the first time around. My boys are IVF cycle twins, conceived on the same day but born two years and one day apart (they were both transferred on the same day in October, but with two years between them). My boys are the best of friends and my husband is a terrific husband, father, and most importantly… friend. He fully supported my desire to stay home (“I just wanted it to be your idea and not mine, I totally want you to stay home and raise our kids!”) and encourages me in everything I do. I am a lover of projects, spreadsheets, fitness, healthy cooking and eating, crafts, selling my stuff on FB (HA!), and the outdoors. If I’m active, I’m pretty darn happy!

7 thoughts on “Finding Himself (AKA Major Defiance)

  1. Ugh, we’ve let Stella sit in our laps a cpl times (same thing – from a friend’s house just down the block).. but this is making me rethink it, just in order to avoid future tantrums. Eek!

  2. Poor buddy. We’ve done that a few times too when we’ve gone around the corner to take pictures with Chloe. But after reading this, we won’t be doing it again anytime soon! This has been months ago last fall so she was too little “ask” for it again. I sure hope those teeth hurry up already. I know we are right behind you though seeing that Chloe only has six…sigh. One of these days it will all be behind us.

  3. We just went through the top canines and she struggled with those almost as bad as her molars. I hope it gets better soon!!!!!!

  4. Look how much fun he’s having! He seems so proud of himself. It would be really hard for me to not let him play in the front seat, but good for you for resolving to uphold boundaries. Also, I love your phrase “finding himself.” What a great positive reframe!

  5. We have done this with Lids a couple of times going short distances, but usually in the backseat which is pretty boring… no fun buttons to push, but still getting to be on someone’s lap which is pretty fun!! I don’t think Lids is old enough yet to care too much or really show that she would prefer to be on my lap but maybe we better not do that again to prevent it from happening. However, still pretty darn cute during the time that Matthew actually is IN the car enjoying it… just not the getting out part!! 😉 It sure looks and sounds like he loves it in there. Cheap entertainment at least!!

  6. Haha, what is it with needing to eat pizza when everything’s going to shit?? I just did the exact same thing (except I chose the worst crust and the worst toppings by accident, so it wasn’t nearly as fulfilling). Anyway, congrats on the Faileo — I’m sure it was just temporary. 🙂

  7. Finding himself!! It’s wonderful and horrific at the same time. Sofia is finding herself as well – putting her foot down about certain things, as best she can. It’s fun to watch while it’s maddening at the same time. I try so hard to find a balance between encouraging her independence and setting limits, but damn it’s hard.

    (Also, teething is a bitch. Sofi is sick and woke up with a new tooth yesterday. When it rains, it pours, right?)

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