We got a text from my dad on the 2nd saying that my grandpa could be dying. He has a DNR, and it goes beyond that, really. He also has specific orders to not treat any illnesses, even simple ones. This causes me much stress, to be perfectly honest. We were told he was weak and disoriented and that they’d know more in a couple of days, but that the speculation was pneumonia. I don’t waste time when it comes to these things. Two days are too long to wait to see if a possible “last visit” is really needed. To me, a possible “last visit” that turns out to be u”nnecessary” is just an extra visit with my grandpa – which is a good thing!
We made plans to go home on the 4th. The 3rd was just too hectic and Matthew still had a residual cough from the holidays, so we figured an extra day for that to settle down would be good. My dad called the morning of the 4th to say that we’re welcome to come, of course, but that Grandpa had made a miraculous recovery. Of course he had. He ALWAYS does.
But some day, he won’t.
We went home anyway, and saw Grandpa two days in a row. The first time, only I saw him for a couple of minutes to say hello. The next morning, he was up and at ’em, watching football and eating breakfast. We had a nice visit. Matthew was scared of his oxygen mask, but was still smiley and happy to see him after he warmed up. When Grandpa got in bed without his oxygen mask, Matthew wanted to be in there with him. Of course he did 🙂
I’m not sure that any of these pictures are different from one another, but I love them all for different reasons!
This is my contribution to The Monday Snapshot over at PAIL Bloggers. Go and check it out!
January 6, 2013 at 9:48 pm
You’re so right, an extra visit is way better than a missed visit. So glad he had a recovery. Hope you get to enjoy many more visits with him!
January 6, 2013 at 9:51 pm
I’m sorry to hear your grandfather was so sick but I’m glad here’s doing better. You’re right that you’ll never regret going to see him when it isn’t necessary but it would be hard regret not seeing him when you really needed to.
January 7, 2013 at 6:11 am
Ohh this are such beautiful photos and you will be so glad you have them… and so glad you did that visit, even if there are many more still to follow. An extra visit is much nicer than no visit at all. I am sorry to hear that your Grandpa was sick but happy to hear that he is doing a lot better now.
January 14, 2013 at 9:18 pm
Thanks, Fiona!
January 7, 2013 at 8:41 am
I took pictures of Chloe and my grandma any chance I got and I’m so glad I did. Looking back on them now makes my heart happy. I’m really glad your grandpa made such a good recovery, but I’m also glad you still made the trip to see him. You’re right – you never know when the last visit will be. Ours was on JJ’s birthday and I think it actually allowed my grandma to feel like she could go after that, like she had seen all of us one last time and that was enough for her. I’m not saying that’s what will happen in your grandpa’s case, but you know what I mean.
January 14, 2013 at 9:19 pm
I know you’re not saying that, but if he decided to go after my visit, I’d be OK with that. My other grandpa did that with my aunt. Waited for her to visit and then passed away while she was driving home from the visit. I believe in my heart that he waited for her.
January 7, 2013 at 11:16 am
*sigh* This hits so close to home. My dad lived with us during his final days so I could help my mom take care of him. S was pretty good about the mask after being around it 24/7. But even just seeing the mask on your grandpa and reading about the dnr and confusion… it was almost like I could hear the oxygen pump, and smell the medicine, and feel the deep despair that surrounded that time. I’m sorry your family is going through this right now. I hope when he passes that it will be quick and painless, and that you’ll get a real last visit. I agree 100%, better to have a few extras in there than to miss the real one!
January 14, 2013 at 9:20 pm
Thank you for your kind words! I’m really late in responding, and I apologize. I’m sorry to hear about your dad. I have not lost a parent yet and I think that would be really difficult.
January 7, 2013 at 4:26 pm
I love pics of Matthew with his great grandfather! It’s so special that he gets to spend time with him. I’m so glad to hear he is feeling better. XO
January 14, 2013 at 9:21 pm
Thanks, SRB! This man, I tell you, has nine lives. By our count, he has about 5 left 😉
January 7, 2013 at 6:28 pm
I like your philosophy that even if he’s fine, it just meant you got another visit with your grandpa. I feel the same way every time I get to see my grandpa – it could be the last time, so I need to enjoy it!
January 14, 2013 at 9:22 pm
Yes! It’s so scary when they get to this point that the end is imminent – yet so uncertain. I am so glad I live close by just in case the end really comes.
January 7, 2013 at 8:27 pm
No regrets about that visit, what special memories and pictures for you and M. I hope he keeps making those miraculous recoveries!
January 14, 2013 at 9:22 pm
Thanks! Me too!
January 7, 2013 at 8:57 pm
So glad you were able to visit and get lots of wonderful pictures! I sure hope he continues with his recovery and that you get many more special moments with him.
January 14, 2013 at 9:22 pm
Thank you, Heather!
January 7, 2013 at 10:13 pm
Sorry your grandpa isn’t doing well, but I’m glad that, for now, he has a little more time and you had time together. ❤
January 14, 2013 at 9:22 pm
Thanks, Jules. Me too!
January 8, 2013 at 2:48 am
Oh, these are wonderful pictures!! And I know that both you and Matthew will look back on them with much fondness. When my sister was a baby my mom would send letters to her grandfather from my sister and he’d write back. He passed away before I was born and I am “jealous” of those letters because what a special memory that is. And my sister obviously doesn’t even remember it, but to know that your great-grandfather lit up when he saw you or heard from you is a gift. And now it’s a gift that Matthew will have when he looks back on these shots.
I’m sorry that your grandfather is doing well. I hope that you have many more visits with him and that he stays comfortable and lucid for a long time.
xoxo
January 14, 2013 at 9:24 pm
Thanks, NBR (it’s really hard for me to call you that, being such good friends and all IRL. HA!). I love that story about your sister, and I understand your jealousy. I would be envious of that too. What a great thing your mom started for her!
As my dad said, with this history my grandpa has, we’ll be celebrating his 92nd birthday in July right after baby #2 arrives 😉
January 8, 2013 at 9:51 am
Wow, that’s amazing that he recovered from pneumonia! And you’re so right — visiting him will NEVER be something you’ll look back on and regret. A friend of mine recently delayed a visit with his sick aunt by a couple days because of work, then she ended up passing away before he could see her — needless to say, the guilt has plagued him ever since. Loving those photos; your granddad looks like a spirited, warm and funny person, and you all look so happy there together.
January 14, 2013 at 9:27 pm
I cannot even imagine how your friend feels. Guilt, or the opportunity for guilt, drives a lot of what I do, and do not, do. That’s the half-Catholic in me 😉
My granddad is VERY spirited, in every way 😉
January 8, 2013 at 9:58 pm
Never will you regret an “extra” visit, how very true. I hope he continues to recover well and there will be many more visits in your future.