I have to admit something today that I have not had to admit yet as a mother.
I admit defeat.
When I posted a while back about the top 10 things that surprise me about myself as a mother, some people mentioned that they don’t have patience and my response was, ‘this could all change tomorrow.’
It changed today.
Matthew is a good boy – a very good boy – but man alive, he woke up before the crack of dawn this morning for no apparent reason. This would normally not be a big deal because when this (very rarely) happens (5 times since he was 10 months old), we’ve known just what to do and he’s back to sleep in no time. With the exception of that nasty double ear infection, the other few times he’s woken up have been just brief interruptions to our night.
Not last night.
Matthew woke up just plain mad and standing up in his crib, which cues an immediate dash to his room to try to calm him before he wakes up completely. Too late. He wanted to get up. WHAT? He pointed at the door and wailed. I finally hollered over the monitor for B to get us some ibuprofen because what does every
good bad mother do when her kid won’t sleep? Drug ’em! The firm holler of mine (I had to be firm so that B could hear it over the sound machine – I wasn’t mad) triggered something in Matthew because he just fell quiet immediately. I was thrilled. After the ibuprofen, he settled in to sleep. GREAT!
But he never fell completely asleep. He cried and tossed all over me every 15 minutes or so. I didn’t catch a single wink.
I tried putting him in his crib several times to no avail. So, I brought him into our room and bed. It seemed like that was going to work but then he freaked out and we were back to his room. An hour and a half had passed and I was exhausted. In his room, there were more random fits because I just think he wanted to be up. I finally changed his diaper (I don’t usually do that because it wakes him completely up – but what the hell because he was obviously completely up?) and that seemed to settle him. He finally fell asleep around 6:15 and so did I, with him in my arms. I woke up at 7:30 and put him in his crib while I got the house picked up. He woke up at 8:10.
I figured the day was salvaged.
But I was tired all day, and he was crabby and fussy. He fought his nap but then relented and I thought I’d get some sleep. Wrong. Just after I fell asleep, my 2-3 hour napper woke up after 1 hour and 20 minutes. Ready to go again.
I was really upset, to be quite honest. I almost cried.
But we played and watched CG with Matthew being fussy and crying intermittently the entire time. I did what I’ve never done out of frustration – I texted B and asked when he would be home.
I had given up. I was tired. I was defeated.
Matthew went to sleep just great at 8:10 tonight. Just like last night. Let’s hope tonight is better.
December 18, 2012 at 10:47 pm
I am so sorry…you’re not alone. Raegan hasn’t been sleeping well. Major sleep fail last night, nap fail this morning. I’m so freaking tired. Babe is out of town, I’m trying to get the house cleaned, laundry done, dogs cared for and Raegan cared for on 3 hours of sleep. Not good. Really hoping tonight is a better night in both our houses….headed to bed, finally. I’ve been ready since I put Raegan down at 8:00.
Good luck! Sending goos sleep thoughts for Matthew!
December 27, 2012 at 10:55 pm
Thank you for the good wishes! This turned out just being a blip on the radar, but man alive, it was tough!
December 19, 2012 at 2:43 am
Oh, man, I’m sorry for such a rough night and day. I have been there and it SUCKS. I have been there, on the verge of tears, and I think actually letting them fall, because I simply cannot take it. It’s exhausting and, in my opinion, has nothing to do with patience. You showed infinite patience with your little guy in the early hours of the morning and then throughout the day, too. There are just some days where I think they wake up on the wrong side of the bed… and, perhaps yesterday was one of them.
Actually, perhaps something was in the air (the cloud that clearly stretched from Iowa to Madrid) because Sofia was soooo grumpy yesterday morning. She woke up MAD an hour earlier than normal, cried and fussed as we got her ready for the day and didn’t want much breakfast at all. Then all smiles when she got to daycare. Humph!
Anyway, I hope your night (right now! I hope you’re NOT reading this as I post it!!) is going much better and Matthew is back to his usual self!
December 27, 2012 at 10:55 pm
I think everyone was having a rough go of it back when I wrote this. Unreal!
December 19, 2012 at 4:06 am
Uggg so sorry you and Matthew had such a rough day/night. No shame in feeling defeated. Nights/days like this are tough, really tough. I hope you AND Matthew both got a nice, loooong sleep tonight and have a normal, pleasant today with Matthew back to his usual happy self.
December 27, 2012 at 10:57 pm
We did get a nice sleep the next night, thank you!
December 19, 2012 at 6:36 am
Oh girl, you know I feel you!! That’s what I’d felt the last several weeks, except I was able to “escape” and go to work every day. I hope it was just a fluke thing and last night was much better for you. There isn’t much worse than a sleepy crabby tired boy AND mama.
December 27, 2012 at 10:57 pm
I know you feel me on this one! I thought of you as I wrote it. HA! It sounds like both of our kids are doing better though!
December 19, 2012 at 7:27 am
Boo! I hate nights like these! HGB started this up about a month ago and it lasted about a week maybe? I remember talking to NBR about it…. waking up in FULL ON tantrums, nap fails, the flailing, the whining, the woe. The worn out mama. The hypothesis was/is that it might be a combo of eye teeth coming in (which seem to take FOREVER but also come in spurts?) and a developmental spurt. When this started happening with HGB it was around the time that he started become MUCH more verbal. It’s like they are ANGRY they are asleep because they want to be awake, being crabby learning robots.
I can totally relate to the wake-ups being ROUGH, bringing them in bed doing NOTHING, and the…well, loss of patience and anger. When they are pretty much perfect sleepers, you just CANNOT cope when suddenly they aren’t any more. You are just at a total loss as to why and what to do – patience runs out fast because it’s new and challenging. I hear you. I really do. I felt/feel the same way. I call it a “rage boil” and yeah, it’s not pretty. On these days, I send BJB “OMFG!” texts All. Day. Long. 😦 It’s tough. You are awesome.
December 27, 2012 at 10:58 pm
I send B similar texts, but more along the lines of, “I am about to cry. Please come home!”
December 19, 2012 at 7:41 am
That is tough. Avery has nights like those and they are awful, but like Stephanie said. I get some peace at work. So it is easier to handle. I hope this was a fluke and something that doesn’t happen again!
December 27, 2012 at 10:59 pm
I sometimes wish I had a temporary job to go to just to get my mind off the insanity of trying to keep un unhappy toddler happy! This was temporary, so that’s good!
December 19, 2012 at 9:07 am
We have had a few nights/days where it’s all I can do to not pull my hair out. SO frustrating and difficult to stay patient and loving when you are exhausted! I hope Matthew starts feeling better, ear infections suck…for everyone!
December 27, 2012 at 11:00 pm
Thanks! All was better the next day, thank God!
December 21, 2012 at 9:08 am
ah, yes. defeated indeed. My kid kicked my ass last night, he decided he was done with his crib Wednesday night (climbed out of it twice on the very lowest setting), so we’re doing the toddler bed transition. defeated indeed!!! My ass is being handed to me! Hope things are better for you all!
December 27, 2012 at 11:02 pm
Oh my, I’m so sorry that things have been so hard for you lately. I’ve been following you on Twi.tter and I just feel for you. “My ass is being haneded to me.” So true. They sure know how to do that to us, don’t they?
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