Things have been rocky over here with a fussy baby who doesn’t feel well, and seems to be teething again.  But you know, with the bad, comes the good.  When things are rotten, I tell myself that things can’t go anywhere but up, right?

Right?

😉

The day did not start well.  We have no idea what was wrong, but our poor boy woke up at 6:50 just hysterical.  He cried for almost an hour and B and I took turns holding him.  He seemed to be having a night terror, but it wasn’t the right time of day (or point in his sleep cycle) for that to happen and I’m thinking he just woke up too dang early with sore gums.  He shook his head, “no,” to everything for at least 30 minutes.  Milk?  No.  Fruit pouch?  No.  Ibuprofen (which he loves)?  No.  Toys?  No.  Kitty?  No.  Pillow?  No.

You get the idea.

He finally relented and let me give him some ibuprofen and then wanted his milk.  YAY!  And then?  The coolest thing happened!  He ran out of milk, and as he was sitting on the fireplace ledge shaking his cup, I asked, “do you want more?”  I didn’t sign it – I just verbally asked.  He put his cup down and signed “more.”  Holy crap!  THAT, right there, made me forget the entire first hour of our morning!  I was so excited – I ran back to tell B all about it!!!  At breakfast this morning, he did the same thing when I asked if he wanted more bananas.

Cue a sentimental tear from Mama!

This week started the next session of Zoo Tunes which Matthew loves more than… well… anything!  I think he loves it as much, or a little more than, his gymnastics class, so I’ve been looking forward to this since last week.  Today, the critter of the week was a fancy cockroach which really made me a bit sick – but he loved it.  He reached right out for it and pet it “like a kitty.”  That’s how we describe being gentle to him, “touch it like a kitty.”  I totally forgot that his bestie, Hailey, would be at Zoo Tunes with her (awesome!!) grandpa so that was the best surprise of the morning!  And then?  In walked his gym classmate, Avery!  Wahoo!  Matthew shared my lap with Hailey and we had a great time!  We then walked around the zoo with Hailey and her grandpa and visited the lion, the tiger, the sea lions, the penguins, the otters, and the bald eagles.  Super fun!

I started watching the end of the third season of “Glee” yesterday and I forgot how happy that makes me.  I love, I mean LOVE, watching talented people sing.  I am insanely envious (in a good way) of people who can sing and dance their hearts out!  This is why I used to love going to a good karaoke night at a local bar, especially ones with prizes for the best performance.  I had a friend in Chicago who was CRAZY talented in the music department (piano, singing, you name it!) and we would go cheer her on as she won $400 cash prizes month after month.  Total bliss for me!  I don’t make it to karaoke nights much anymore (it’s been years) so “Glee” is the next best thing and I LOVE it!

I picked up my favorite watch which I’ve had since 2000.  It was my first really big purchase for myself and I’ve loved it since the day I got it.  We took it in for a new battery a couple of years ago and the jeweler convinced us to take a link out to make it fit better, but it never fit the way I wanted after that so I stopped wearing it.  I took it in three weeks ago for (yet) another battery and asked them to put the link back in.  When I got home with it, I realized that they took (yet) another link out.  Sigh.  I finally picked it up yesterday with all the links put back in and I love it.  I felt so happy to have it back.  I feel so good having it back on my wrist where it belongs.  I never thought a stupid watch could make me so freaking happy!

And then there’s, “Curious George.”  Oh my God – we (all three of us) are in love with “Curious George” in this house!  We noticed last week that when Matthew wakes up right after 7:00, he enjoys his milk in bed with Mom and Dad when we turn on PBS and catch a bit of the monkey.  We lost our “free” cable this week but “Curious George” is on Netf.lix Instant View so we watch CG a couple of times a day now.  It doesn’t draw Matthew in like a zombie, but it gives him something to dance to and watch when he’s hanging out in his chair or in bed with us.  He especially loves the opening credits and it’s precious – it makes me very happy!

The biggest thing to make my heart happy, lately, is my decision to start seeing a counselor.  It’s no secret that I function completely differently from B’s family, and he and I communicate very differently because of that.  I need some coaching on how to communicate with him and his side of the family.  I’ve found myself spending WAY too much time worrying about this, or that, upcoming conversation (namely, our pregnancy announcement, holiday planning, and whether or not I’ve done something to upset B) and getting wrapped up in things that haven’t even happened yet.  This has always been my “cue” in the past that I need some help.

I need some coaching – and I’m going to get it.

I need to have someone listen to me and validate, or not validate, my feelings and actions.  I love therapy – I love life coaching – I love self-improvement and being self-aware.  And I haven’t done any of that lately.  I have not improved myself, or our marriage – and it’s time for me to really give those things my focus.  Right now – I need counseling and coaching and I’m very excited about it!  I got a referral from my friend who I truly believe is the happiest person I know – she is very happily married (after much work on both of their parts) and when people talk about “not knowing anyone who is completely happy,” I think in my head, “I know someone like that.”  I texted her for her counselor’s name and the guy is in our medical network, so I will setup an appointment today.

Good things.

Good things are happening!

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(Oh, and I POAS-ed again yesterday out of sheer anxiety.  Peeing on that made me feel very relaxed.  That’s just so weird, isn’t it?!)