All the Sun For You

A mom, two boys, a husband, and a whole lot of adventure!

Monthly Archives: October 2012


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Strategy

I am so relaxed about this cycle, that I was wrong last night when I said my ultrasound and blood work would be today.  They’re tomorrow.  As of right now, my lady bits are still their natural color.  We will see what tomorrow brings.  I don’t have high hopes of walking out of there without a prescription for estrace tablets.

I like to be prepared, it makes me feel in control.  When I started my lupron injections, I loaded up my shot kit with a week’s worth of needles and alcohol pads – and I did that each Saturday night after I depleted the week’s supply.  It was sort of fun.  It made me feel like we were making progress – that we were moving forward.

When it comes to PIO, I load up the needles differently.  I don’t know how long I’ll be doing PIO shots – it all depends on whether or not this cycle works.  If it works, I will need 3 months worth of needles (that many would never fit in my kit at once).  If it does not work, I will need 17 needles. The last thing I want to do is unload my shot kit if I get a negative beta – therefore I am very strategic so that I don’t have to do that.  EVER.  I don’t even want to let the needles wait to be unloaded until the next cycle starts because I want to start that next cycle with a positive attitude – a fresh mindset.  So I load up the kit with the exact number of needles I will need to get to the beta – and that is all.

I loaded up my kit tonight.  There are 17 pink needles (used to draw the PIO into the syringe) and 7 shots with black needles (black needles are used to inject).

Pink = pain

Black = butt

My kit is not large enough to hold 17 shots with black needles, so I load those up weekly.  You can bet the farm that when we get to the week of October 21 (beta will likely be on the 24th), I will only be loading up 3 shots with black needles to get me through the night of the 23rd.  If I fail the beta on the 24th, there will be no more pink or black needles in my kit – which is how I want it to be.

Ice packs are in the freezer just waiting for Sunday.

Here we go…


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One More

One more lupron shot before we move on to bigger and better things (PIO shots on Monday).  I will not miss you, Lupron… you big, fat cow!

I have an ultrasound and blood work tomorrow to see how I’m doing.  I’m fully expecting them to put me on estrace tablets that go in parts that make me shudder.  As Belle put it so appropriately today, I am gearing up for having “smurf-colored” lady parts here soon.  Fantastic!

This FET cycle has been a breeze so far.  I honestly forget about it most days and need reminders on my phone to ensure I get my shots and take my meds.  This is a good thing!  I do fully expect to feel emotionally vested, though, once those embryos are put back where they belong next Friday.

I’m assuming this won’t work for us (we never get lucky and fall on the good side of the odds – and this procedure has a 40% success rate), but I sure hope it does!  I am trying to remain positive because you never know.  It has to work for someone, right?  Would be nice if it’s us this time …  🙂


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Thank you Steph (and Baby Whisperer)

I owe a major shout-out to Stephanie.  I posted my Monday Snapshot of Matthew melting down over food and she commented with some advice from a professional baby whisperer.

The advice?

“She said that as kids start to get more independence, we hover a little too much and don’t give them choices as they are eating.  She suggested putting each type of food you give him in little measuring cups or small containers and letting HIM choose.  I know you pretty much already do that by putting it on his tray, but maybe there is something to them looking in the cup and feeling like they are making more of a choice?”

I tried that advice today, and it effing worked!  I loaded up chicken, marinated mushrooms and artichoke hearts, and an heirloom tomato into their own bowls and this is what happened:

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We will be taking 3-4 bowls to every meal out in the future.  I cannot believe this!


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“Protecting the Innocent” (and the Guilty)

This is a public service announcement, of sorts.

The holidays are upon us – it’s October which means it’s officially time for our families to want to start sorting out the “holiday plans” for Thanksgiving and Christmas.  This time of year takes a toll on me – I tend to get rather pissy and difficult to be around (just ask B).  Because I’m an “over-sharer,” if you ask me how I’m doing between October 1 and December 31, I’ll tell you all about my family holiday drama and craziness (I give myself 6 days after Christmas to get the bitching out of my system but then try to have it behind me by January 1).

With that said, I have no idea who reads my blog.  I get quite a few hits for someone who has a handful of loyal (and awesome) commenters.  WordPress says I have about 10 followers (small potatoes, my friends, small potatoes!), but my stats tell me otherwise.  No biggie – keep reading, keep reading, keep reading!

However, I will likely need to be posting some frustrations over this upcoming holiday season.  I think my holidays from the past would have been much more tolerable if I had been blogging.  I’m hoping that writing about things will let me release them even sooner than my annual 12/31 deadline.  HA!

I will be introducing some password protected (PWP) posts.  I am doing this to “protect the innocent” from reading about themselves on my blog.  HA HA!  Seriously though, if you’re not a family member, I’m happy to share the password*.  If you’re a family member, please don’t ask for the PW because it will be rather awkward when I tell you, “sorry, but no.”

It’s either this, or get a therapist.  I don’t have time for a therapist (or maybe I do – because you know – I am a SAHM with nothing but time), so it’s this.

The first post will be going up as soon as I have something to get off my chest.  So far, so good.  No one has asked yet what our plan is for Thanksgiving… but it’s coming.  I can feel it!

* You can comment here or email me at allthesunforyou-at-live-dot-com for the PW if you’d like it.  No pressure – I won’t be offended if no one is interested in these posts  😉


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Secret Angst of a SAHM

I have been harboring some repressed angst lately, and I’ve been meaning to write about this for a long time.

I have a few friends who say things to me that really upset me every once in a while.  Now – I am one of those people who says TOO MUCH, so I don’t get too offended when people say somewhat colorful things to me.  I mean – I understand that sometimes you just say the wrong effing thing and I’m cool with that.  No need to explain.  No need to feel bad.  I GET IT, because I do it too.  Usually, a simple, “shit, I didn’t mean to say it that way,” works for me and I move on (moving on from all things is not my greatest strength, but when it comes to moving on from stupid comments, I’m able to do that easily).

So what is it that people say that gets me riled up?  They all have to do with the GOOD things I’m doing for my child.  They all have to do with the choices that B and I have made to provide Matthew with the upbringing that we feel is right for him and us.

When I talk about the following topics, I usually get a similar reaction from a handful of friends.  Here are the topics:

  • Cloth diapering
  • Making Matthew’s baby food
  • Breastfeeding until he was 12 months old
  • Pumping enough milk to have 3 months stored up in the freezer
  • Having a clean house
  • Getting Matthew out for activities every day

The reaction I get from some friends on any or all of the above topics is, “you are able to do those things because you stay home.”

WHAT?

The facts:

  • We were committed to cloth diapering before Matthew was born and had all diapers and supplies purchased and ready before my 8th month of pregnancy – long before either of us considered me being a SAHM
  • We were committed to making all of Matthew’s baby food before he was born and had 4 recipe books with favorites selected before he was born.  Again – long before we considered the SAHM option
  • Being successful at breastfeeding was a result of hard work, many tears, determination, and lots of pumping.  When I did go back to work before quitting, I drove 20 minutes each way to Matthew’s daycare to nurse him over the lunch hour.  All of that, and the pumping to sustain his “only breast milk” diet, was done while I was a working mother
  • My house is always clean and picked up.  That’s just who we are.  It was like that before kids, it’s like that during kids, and it will be like that after kids.  When I was still a working mother, I spent at least an hour every night after daycare washing bottles, picking up the house, cleaning dishes, folding laundry, etc. etc. etc.  The state of my house is not due to me being home, it’s due to both B and me being rather tidy people and requiring that in our lives
  • Long before we considered the SAHM option, we were getting Matthew out of the house every single day.  While on maternity and paternity leave, we left the house at least once a day starting the day after we came home from the hospital with Matthew.  This is just who I am – I am a mover and a shaker and I need to not sit in my house all day.  Matthew is a social kid who needs daily interaction with friends his own age, so I bust my butt providing that for him.  Not because I’m a SAHM, but because I’m his mother and it’s important to him and me

I am so tired of the mommy wars and the parenting technique debates.  I am so tired of people validating their own choices by invalidating others’.  I am sick and tired of people who are my friends telling me that the only reason I do these good things for my child is because I stay home.  I have several bloggie friends who work and make many of the same choices for their children.

All of those things on that list above, with the exception of Matthew’s activities and getting out of the house, are done “after hours,” long after B is home and Matthew is in bed.  I don’t have time during the day to make baby food (which is actually super easy), pump my breasts, clean and fold laundry, wash and stuff diapers, and keep my house picked up.  I’m chasing my son around all day, or taking him to some fun activity.   When he’s napping, that’s my down time and I enjoy it to myself.

I do these things because they are important to me.  They are important to B.  They are good for Matthew.  We make time in our lives for the things that are important to us.  We all do.

To those people who feel it necessary to pooh pooh my choices by suggesting I only chose them because I stay home, I have this to say:  If cloth diapering, making baby food, nursing/pumping, and keeping a neat house isn’t important to you, then don’t do it.  I don’t care.  I don’t judge you for not doing those things – I could care less.  Please don’t try to make yourself feel better for not doing those things, by attempting to dismiss me by saying I have time for them only because I am a SAHM.  I make time for those things because they are important to my family.  Just like you make time for the things that are important to your family.


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The Monday Snapshot – Getting Picky

Matthew has been on a bit of a food strike for a few days.  He eats… soups, avocados, yogurt, cottage cheese, hard cheeses, and fruit.   That’s it right now.  He will dabble in meats and an occassional veggie, but he’s really just holding out for Mom’s soup and his “dessert” of fresh fruit.

Sigh.

I so hope his fabulous eating skills come back.  Careful what you wish for, right?

He’s not playing peek-a-boo 😦

This is part of a weekly feature over at PAIL called The Monday
Snapshot.