It’s 3:23, and I’m up with a
crying screaming baby. I knew that the other night was too good to be true and wasn’t the end of this little project, and I even said in my post that I knew we still had work to do, but I was hoping maybe I was wrong 😉
In my slumber, I forgot that yesterday was when we started over on the day 2 schedule, so I did it again tonight. Oops. I did watch him on the monitor and at one point in the first waiting period, he put himself back down and tried to go back to sleep, but that didn’t last long. It did give me hope that he can do it (which of course – we all KNOW he can, but like a good mother, I’m making excuses for him). He is currently more calm and standing on the rails – waiting for me. Poor little guy.
B was out of town last night and said when he came home that maybe the trick was him being out of the house. I quickly said, “oh no, that’s not what got him to sleep!” But… I’m starting to wonder 😉
What I’m NOT wondering about is when we’ll do this if we have another baby. For those of you reading this who are planning to sleep train your babies – please do it before they can stand up in their cribs. I know in my heart of hearts that he would be asleep, or at least calm, by now if he couldn’t stand up. This whole mobility and independence thing really messes up this plan. I lay him down, he stands right back up, without fail unless he’s beyond exhausted. If he has any willpower left in him, he’s standing back up. We will be doing this at 4-6 months next time if we are lucky enough to have another baby. No if’s, and’s, or but’s about it.
Since it doesn’t look like we’re near the end of this little project, I thought it may be worth posting a snapshot of my spreadsheet every now and again so that there is a visual of what our nights look like. Here it is, updated with tonight’s info (he was asleep at 4:07 – but I’ve been up reading blogs. Ugh!). Yes – it is getting worse before it gets better. HA!
April 11, 2012 at 8:22 am
Well, it looks like a clear pattern is emerging for both wake times and naps, so that is really positive. As BJB would say, gathering a lot of data points is necessary to determining the most reasonable solution. (No really, that is exactly what he would say. He actually talks like that.)
I remember a part in the book that talks about looking at your charts for these types of patterns, but I can’t really remember it because I did a half-assed chart in the book with a pencil for about 3 days. So, no wonder I can’t recall my data set. Anyway, it looks like it is that 3-4a.m. window that is the ‘trouble’ spot, and that is where M needs to learn to go back down. The only real advice I can offer is just to be consistent with what *you* want to do, and he will get it. If doing each day twice (or three times) before moving onto the next stage of the waiting schedule seems gentler or better for him, do it! Just be consistent. Or ‘pick a lane!!!!’ as I would yell from the passenger seat. Then again, I am a terrible driver. 😉
So, you know what I am going to say: If you feel like you are doing the right thing, you are doing the right thing for you three. The right thing may not be the easy thing, but this is a great team-building exercise in the long run.
April 11, 2012 at 9:29 am
It’s responses like this that put you in the “hippy dippy” category. 😉 HA! I love your responses, they give me lots to think about! My friend, Denise, says the same thing – if you feel good about what you’re doing as a parent, then you’re doing it right. I believe what you guys are saying wholeheartedly!
The 3:00 waking has always been our biggest problem. He used to be consistent and would get up every morning at 3:00, and I could handle that because it was one waking a night. Recently though, he has started getting up at midnight, or 1, or 2. Once he gets up once, then he’s up again every 2-3 hours. That is what I can’t handle. He’s not hungry – he just wants me. At least this process has gotten us back to just one waking a night.
We are sticking this out, come hell or high water. He just needs to learn that bed time is bed time – plain and simple. He has slept 9, 10, and 11 hours before so we know he can do it. It’s just aggravating! He never woke up more than once a night as a young baby (newborn to 4 months) – and now we’re dealing with this at 9 months. He’s a stinker!
April 11, 2012 at 10:04 am
Heh. I didn’t even say ‘dude’ or ‘man’! The long version is coming to a theme post near you!
You are probably right when you say he just wants you. Especially after I just read your other post about being extroverted in public but more clingy at home. I hear that. It’s cool. I think that is where the ‘checking but leaving’ thing comes into play. Like, “I’m still here dude, but it’s bedtime, m’kay?”
(Also, I watched The Big Lebowski again last night, so there will be a lot of “dudes” for the next little while I think.)
April 11, 2012 at 9:19 am
SInce I’m new to following your blog, I don’t know the history behind if he’s always been a good sleeper or not slept through the night since the beginning, etc. My 8 month old daughter has just started rolling over and I’ve noticed she plays and moves around a little more in her crib once we put her down. I can only imagine it getting more difficult once she can pull herself up and stand. I’d love to hear more about if this not sleeping well routine recently started with him or not, feel free to email me if you’d like. Thanks!
April 11, 2012 at 9:37 am
Oh, Stephanie, I have read your blog and you have the best little sleeper on the planet!
We did have a very good little sleeper – he slept 5-7 hours a night as a newborn through 4 months of age. I never had to get up more than once a night to feed him, and we had little sprinklings of him sleeping through the night. Then, I tried to phase out that 3:00 feeding around 4-5 months of age, and we’ve been fighting this ever since. I had done CIO at 4 months and it worked, until he got sick. I didn’t want to do it again so I tried gentler approaches, which then made him want to get up MORE than once a night and I was feeding him 2-3 times a night as he got older and older. I tried a couple more approaches and he just despises them – so I went back to CIO. He is so stubborn – he keeps on his feet the whole time as he screams. I was SHOCKED that he laid himself down in the first waiting period last night because he hadn’t done that since the first night. I was watching him on the monitor last night during the fourth waiting period and saw him nod off while standing up – so I ran in there quickly and laid him down and he was asleep. He fell asleep standing up, and I’m not comfortable with that either.
Matthew is such a great, happy baby all the time – except for at sleep time. I get stopped by everyone telling me how wonderful he is (and he IS!) – he sits through 1.5 -2 hour meals with us, travels well on road trips, engages everyone he meets, talks to everyone for as long as they’ll chat with him – he is a pure delight! I just wish he would sleep better!
He was able to put himself to sleep for naps up until 5 months but he didn’t sleep more than an hour. Then I noticed that nursing him to sleep made him sleep longer – and I started doing that for every nap. It’s my fault. I take full responsibility.
I can’t imagine you’ll have any problems with Chloe when she can stand up just because she’s already a GREAT sleeper! I hope you don’t, anyway!
April 12, 2012 at 9:32 am
Thanks for elaborating! I can’t believe he falls asleep standing up, he is a stubborn little guy, isn’t he? I agree with SRB and it’s good you are at least starting to get into a routine, it may just take a little longer to adjust it to the way you want. After reading your post from today, I bet you are closer to getting there every day!
April 12, 2012 at 2:39 am
Thank you so much for stopping past my blog… your words have given me hope again 🙂 Sleep is the hardest thing with a little one… persist and it will pay off… our daughter took a while to get it but then it worked a treat :)) Good luck… love your spreadsheet :)) Looking forward to sharing this journey with you xoxo
April 12, 2012 at 6:08 am
Well, shit. Sofia started standing up in her crib like 2 nights ago. Perfect timing. She probably “knew” that we were planning to move her into her own room and this is her form of non-violent protest. Please, please, please let it stay non-violent! Heh heh heh…
I so hope last night was better for you!!