All the Sun For You

A mom, two boys, a husband, and a whole lot of adventure!

Tears

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When I met my husband, I knew right away that he was “the one” for me.  The first day we spent together, I thought to myself (silently, of course), “I would marry him if he would marry me.”  Honestly!  With those types of intense feelings, feelings I’d never had before in my life, came new emotions that were foreign to me.  There would be moments of extreme love and I would then feel an intense panic that maybe this would all end.  I’d always catch myself and tell myself that of course he’s going to be with me forever, but I remember those initial moments of panic and how they made me feel.  As bad as that initial wave of panic felt, the reassurance that immediately followed made me feel happier than I’d ever felt in my life.  Those moments always moved me to a happy tear or two.

I felt that feeling again today.  I was standing in the kitchen, washing all of M’s dishes and my pump accessories, with M crawling on the floor behind me.  I heard his sweet babbling and as I thought about how much I love that sound, that panic of “what if this ends?” washed over me.  And instantly, I told myself that this is never going to end and that he’s mine forever.

And I cried a few happy tears.

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Author: Courtney

Hi, there, I’m Courtney. I never planned to stay home with my kids, but I got sucked into motherhood when my first baby came into our lives after years of infertility and multiple rounds of IVF. His brother followed closely behind, something we didn’t plan on after having such a rough road with achieving parenthood the first time around. My boys are IVF cycle twins, conceived on the same day but born two years and one day apart (they were both transferred on the same day in October, but with two years between them). My boys are the best of friends and my husband is a terrific husband, father, and most importantly… friend. He fully supported my desire to stay home (“I just wanted it to be your idea and not mine, I totally want you to stay home and raise our kids!”) and encourages me in everything I do. I am a lover of projects, spreadsheets, fitness, healthy cooking and eating, crafts, selling my stuff on FB (HA!), and the outdoors. If I’m active, I’m pretty darn happy!

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